Kellys Recovery Journey... Rediscovering Health, Balance, and Happiness.
Hi, Im Kelly and this is gonna be my public jounal!
I feel like Im pretty damn low on the totem pole health wise.... theres a lot of improvements to be made. Or in the words of AC/DC,"It's a long way to the top, if you wanna rock and roll!"
A picture of my current/past lifestyle:
*still struggling with bulimia... have been struggling with bulimia since 2008 or so, anorexia before that since 2004
*taking it further back, i used to struggle with cutting and I attempted suicide twice in 2010, so things have been a bit better since...im very motivated to live life to the fullest and make some positive changes!
*just turned 21 in June- since then have been having about 1-3 (occassionalllyyy 4, when i go out hard), drinks per day (I work service industry so everyone tends to go out for drinks after. atm that seems somewhat nessacary to have a social life.) Most nights though its 2 drinks.
*very infrequently smoke weed
*I take adderall for my adhd (more days than not)
*I drink rather copious amounts of coffee daily- lately ive been keeping it black. Usually average 2-4 cups
*Ive found myself taking 2-4 ibuprofen most days lately due to a pesky headache. sometimes it doesnt help. (possibly related to alcohol consumption???)
* currently weighing between 125-130lbs at 5'5".... definitely going in the wrong direction as I was at 121 back in June...lifes been a wee bit stressful since then- I moved and turned 21 in the same month... zoinks!
*somewhat related to the last bullet... even though my weight isnt high, old clothes that used to fit me at this weight are very tight.... higher body fat percentage?
*currently not in school, working a high stress service industry job- usually 40+ hours a week
*exercise is rare at the moment. occasional walks are the best i can say
*eating wise- when Im not binging and purging, I do make a concentrated effort to eat (thereby reducing the urge to b/p, hypothetically.) lately Ive been focusing on getting lots of healthy fats, proteins, and veggies in. I do have a supreme weakness for all things sweet and pastry/dessert-like.... one of my big challenges will be to find a new venue from the coffee shop where i regularly go to nom on scones and other bakery made indulgences as I read health books ... i know, i know *headdesk*
GOALS/LIFESTYLE CHANGES I WANT TO MAKE:
*first and foremost to finally conquer the eating disorder- at this point meaning to cease binging and purging and make HEALTHY food selections instead
*to lose weight (more of an end result than a lifestyle change goal)- ideally id like to sit between 110-115 as Im small boned and that looks the most natural
*lower body fat percentage
*workout out regularly- improve fitness abilities!
*get more sunshine and fresh air
*have more energy
*more motivation and excitement for life
*do more fun things
*be a better worker
*enjoy the little things
*find balance in my life
*be more funtional in regards to add
*go back to college
*reduce compulsive/impulsive behaviors
*improve relationships with family/peers
*improve relationship with self
Im sure theres more that Im not thinking of at the moment, but its okay, i have a journal and a whole future ahead of me to make it known!
Today was my first day sans wheat/carbs. That is one of my highest priorites at the moment as I experience a myriad of intestinal distress not to mention other weird symptoms. Its also the thing I crave like a freaking drug addict (cookies, cake, bread, muffins, scones, dessert!!!) and the thing I feel the least control over that also happens to be putting a massive overbearing damper on my life. So thats what Im most adamant about changin....no wheat/gluten/grains. period.
Tomorrow will be my first day with a new habits. I intend to walk for an hour upon rising, do some light cleaning, run my errands (prob most of the day), and then have a healthy meal. I badly need to convert to being a fat burner so I can stop craving like an animal. Ill bring some Primal snacks with me just in case the urge hits.
I suppose thats all for tonight, Ill update again tomorrow night