Thanks so much ssn679doc.
I didn't realize how much the stress of all the worrying and dealing with doctors (which I don't like to deal with but who really does???) was bringing me down. I have felt a 100x better since learning there would not be a surgery! Now to get the primal blueprint lifestyle back on track...
Life's little treats:
I think it is important to celebrate the little treats in life - before going primal this would have been a pizza...yeah and I wonder why I am large...but last night it was BBQ'ing on a winter's eve, it was not all that cold last night, and then sitting down with my beautiful fiancée to enjoy medium rare deer steak with wild caught bay scallops wrapped in bacon and roasted broccoli. This is our version of surf and turf and we love it!
It's funny to think back in the day I would have smothered the steak in BBQ sauce effectively erasing the flavor of the meat but now I prefer it without any sauce - just a good montreal streak spice rub and cooked to perfection...ahhh that truly is a little treat!
I have not be on for a while and truth be told I have gone completely off the primal lifestyle. My journey to grokdom was sidelined in February but to be honest I have been struggling to stay primal since Christmas. Prior to December I was trucking along very well but then came the holidays - I weathered them staying mostly primal but I did slip up several times. January saw more slips and the weight loss started to slow and then stall and then reverse. I have since yoyo'd on and off like a regular diet - until today where I find myself feeling like crap gaining weight and very dejected with my whole journey. I just can not seem to get back into the swing of things like I did before the winter. I find I am doing well and then life gets too busy or we find ourselves somewhere where conventional food or worse fast food is just easier to do. The number of excuses are limitless and all the while I know its not the right track to be on... it seems like a downward spiral - too tired to make the right food and work out after work so we eat easy fast foods (not fast food necessarily but sandwiches or pasta instead of preparing a nice primal meal) which in turn make us feel sluggish and heavy round and round we go!
My hope is that by admitting it and putting out here for all to see I can kick my ass in gear and get back on track - so here is my confession - I'm still... or maybe its back... to being a chunky monkey and I am hating it. I need to make an extra effort to get the weight loss going again. Any advice or words of wisdom would be welcome on this one.
[QUOTE=Primal Primate;1117558]I have not be on for a while and truth be told I have gone completely off the primal lifestyle. My journey to grokdom was sidelined in February but to be honest I have been struggling to stay primal since Christmas. Prior to December I was trucking along very well but then came the holidays - I weathered them staying mostly primal but I did slip up several times. January saw more slips and the weight loss started to slow and then stall and then reverse. I have since yoyo'd on and off like a regular diet - until today where I find myself feeling like crap gaining weight and very dejected with my whole journey. I just can not seem to get back into the swing of things like I did before the winter. I find I am doing well and then life gets too busy or we find ourselves somewhere where conventional food or worse fast food is just easier to do. The number of excuses are limitless and all the while I know its not the right track to be on... it seems like a downward spiral - too tired to make the right food and work out after work so we eat easy fast foods (not fast food necessarily but sandwiches or pasta instead of preparing a nice primal meal) which in turn make us feel sluggish and heavy round and round we go!
My hope is that by admitting it and putting out here for all to see I can kick my ass in gear and get back on track - so here is my confession - I'm still... or maybe its back... to being a chunky monkey and I am hating it. I need to make an extra effort to get the weight loss going again. Any advice or words of wisdom would be welcome on this one.[/QUOTE]
Life happens.... Just start where you are, do what you know you need to, no guilt ridden self-riddicule. Things happen. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and Grok on.... You only lose the war when you quit the fight. Glad to see you are back on the Journal. Support is a great motivator.....
Primal eating is very simple to readopt after a lapse, so...welcome back.
As you well know, it can be like one amazing treat after another. Enjoy.
Thanks for the welcome back. I am trying to get back into the swing of things and so far it seems to be working although the cravings are way worse than when I first went Primal. I'm finding that I need to go 100% Primal or not at all. When I cheat I backslide - it would appear I have little to no willpower. I've learned a lot about myself since starting this journey and perhaps the most shocking aspect of me that I have discovered, besides the no willpower thing, is that I am a stress eater. When I am stressed, as I have been lately with work and some aspects of life in general, I snack and never on the good stuff like veggies or fruit always the bad and the salty. This in turn leads me to want the convenience of quick food which we all know really means processed junk and before I know it I'm ass deep in the crap!
I have also learned than I love the way I feel when I work out BUT I am my own worst enemy when it comes to getting my butt off the couch and working out. I have more than enough reasons - I call them reasons at the time but lets be honest they are excuses and nothing more - for why I can't work out. What I really need is to shut my mouth and get my ass in gear. With the warm weather coming I'm hoping this will be easier to do. In addition I have purchased a kettle bell so hopefully that will spur me into action.
I have no doubt that the road is not going to be easy this time, I am now at point where I am at my all time heaviest and I marvel at the fact that I let this happen, but one foot in front of the other and maybe sooner than later I can be far enough down the Primal path so that I pass the point of no return... I like that idea. Now to make it a reality...
A quick check in:
I made a promise to myself that I would check in at least once every two days so I am now trying to keep it.
Yesterday was a good day both in general and primally speaking. I stayed the course and enjoyed three primal meals with a little bit of almonds and cheese to round out the day. Supper was especially good - BBQ'd steak (medium rare) with a large homemade salad - caesar dressing but surprisingly the only part of the homemade dressing that was borderline not primal was the milk it called for.
In addition to the primal eating I also got on the stationary bike and went for a 'ride'. I would have much preferred to jump on my real bike but the snow is preventing that from happening for a few more months. The net result - I had the best sleep I have had in a long time and woke refreshed and ready for today.
Breakfast today consisted of 2 eggs cooked omelet style with two pieces of bacon, one chopped green onion, and a handful of chopped cilantro added to it. It was delicious! Midmorning I was feeling a little peckish but a small cup of greek yogurt and a handful of almonds have seen me through. Lunch will consist of a piece of pork loin (about the size of a deck of cards) with a large spring herb mix organic salad - olive oil and balsamic vinegar added as a dressing.
This evening I intend to get acquainted with the 20 lbs kettle bell I purchased two days ago...
Damn it's good to be back!
Feeling great - walked a total of 38km over the past three days while geocaching and managing to more or less eat healthy. Some bread products have worked their way into my meals (mostly the occasional flour tortilla) but for the most part I am primal again and loving it. As the weather gets better I am outside more and have more energy and want to get looking and feeling better. Last night my fiancee and I went out for supper - a much needed "date night" to get away from the trials and tribulations that come from every day life. We went to Milestones where I enjoyed a medium rare steak and double helping of veggies. Tonight we are having primal grilled chicken with fresh cucumbers and some avocado. The real test will be Easter. I am planning on having some non-primal food but not to go overboard as I have in the past.
I have slowly started introducing daily workouts back into my routine - the last three days I have spent the better part of the day out walking for long distances - between 4 and 6 hours of walking through neighborhoods and ravines on paved paths and dirt trails. Today I did a kettle ball workout and I am feeling it in my arms as I type this.
I am no where near ready to step back on the scale - I know just from looking at myself that I have put a lot of the weight back on in my detour off the primal path and although I am still struggling with negative self talk over the fact that I put weight back on I am also starting to own the issue and identify the problems that are leading me to keep losing the path. I have discovered I am an emotional eater - it seems weird to be that as it is not what I would traditionally think of as a "guy thing" but it is true. Some online research indicates it not as uncommon as I might think. For me the trigger seems to be family issue related. Since starting this journey my family has more or less imploded. My parent's are heading towards what seems to be a very ugly divorce and even though all of their children are adults it is having its effect on us. For me that means reaching for crappy food whenever I get stressed.
I also noticed that when work gets stressful (big projects coming due, etc.) and I have to put in the overtime I tend to want chips and fast food rather than good healthy food because the chips and takeout are faster and require no prep time. These in turn are not filling and I tend to eat more of them and spiraling down we go! This overeating of crappy food leads to weight gain which leads to negative self talk which then leads to more crappy food - now that I recognize the issues I have with food and more importantly the triggers for my issues I seem to be much more able to stay the course.
The next big thing is to rid my life of the triggers or find a way to reduce the impact from them and control my stress. This seems to be the key for me. I am hopeful that within the month I will start to see positive results from my new found primal-ness.
Grok on and happy Easter!
Not feeling so great today - skipped breakfast this morning and then had a banana part way through the morning. Sushi for lunch and nothing since then. My head is killing me and I feel like an illness is coming on - I think it is in part due to the lack of food I have eaten today and partly due to the fact that I am trying to go 100% primal again. I'm feeling the need to feed and being that I won't be home for some time yet that usually means grabbing something on the go and in our world today that usually means a. carbs, b. processed crap or worse yet both! I guess the only positive from it is that I am not craving junk or wheat/grains what I really want right now is a nice medium rare steak with bacon wrapped scallops and a big salad. I'll have to see what I can find to curb this hunger. I also need to focus on drinking more water as I have hardly had anything today. Again not feeling 100% and that seems to have affected all aspects of my primal self. I was looking forward to getting in a workout but I am drained and do not have the energy... so I am listening to my body and going to eat something and go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to Grok out.
I've decided to look back on my own journal and see what I have written about and also where I am given my starting point. After doing so I am for two minds when it comes to this journey. The first is simply that when I look just at the start point and the end point I see Primal as being nothing more than another did not work diet. I know there are people out there that will read that last statement (assuming there are many people reading this at all) and they will get pissy with my out right statement. But hear me out before you pick up the torches and pitchforks and try to run me out of town. At this point 10 months since the start of my journey I am heavier than I was at the beginning, I've had highs and lows throughout the journey including reaching a weight that was the lowest I have have been in many years, but much like a lot of diets I have found that realistically this is an incredibly hard diet to stick with unless I want to eat at home all the time and take large amounts of food with me when I go out. I find that cheat days really mean falling off the wagon and that maybe this is not the way I want to live.
On the other hand...
Maybe there is nothing wrong with this lifestyle and the issues are all rooted deeply and firmly in me. Throughout the journey thus far I have discovered a lot about myself, I am an emotional eater, I am choosing to be overweight because I am choosing to eat the garbage SAD diet of processed shit just because it is fast and easy, I can lose the weight when I stick to the basics of the Primal plan and who knew I actually like garden fresh tomatoes and salads of all kinds!
I think the conclusion I have come to is that if I treat Primal as a diet only (and to be honest this is mostly how I have treated it although it was not intentional) I am destine to fail as I have been. I will continue to yo-yo and grow more frustrated with each increasing pound and belt hole, but if I look at Primal as a way of life then I will see the results - over time not immediately which sucks because I'm a bit of an all or nothing, I want it now kind of guy when it comes to fitness. I know Primal as a lifestyle is going to be very difficult for me as it means rewiring every aspect of my world - the big question is can I do it? My answer right now - I don't know.
I really feel as if I am floundering in this world of caves and Grok - I think the next few posts will be focusing on identifying the things in my world that make me fall off the primal wagon and trying to find solid footing to continue this journey or in the absence of that finding that footing finding a path that I can follow.
I don't know is it normal to struggle with this stuff?