My mother was strict. I remember my cousin trying to sneak me some fried potatoes after my mom forbade me from eating any more at supper, and I cried but refused. I was maybe eight or nine.
I am telling this because I am 37 and still remember it. And I want to avoid it with my daughter. I think about it as a 90% rule. I apply no restriction to fruit and tubers for my family, and I do bake once every few weeks a gluten-free pop-overs, pancakes, syrniks etc. I never press her into finishing her plate or restricting her food intake of food.
The older she is, the more choices she will make on her own, but what I aim for is two things:
-not having her taste-buds dulled and f'ed by processed foods so she does not like natural foods
-her being used to the idea that food is cooked at home and it is easy, natural and fast.
I would like to involve her in the cooking process more often, but I did not really cooked meals while I was growing up, just helped once in a while, here and there, and I had very easy time transitioning to cooking family meals and developing my own cooking style. So, as long as she sees me in the kitchen, wears an apron, does a bit of chopping here, reads out a recipe there, dips her hands into raw meat, handles a cooked fish head, helps with setting a table and cleaning up once in a while I am happy.
I want her to be comfortable with preparing and eating food from scratch. She gets that, she will have all the tools for healthy living on her own.
[QUOTE=SarahW;956327]Did your mother allow a lot of fruit or other carbs in your diet?[/QUOTE]
My mother was a fairly typical 1970s mom. Breakfast was cereal and milk, usually cheerios or frosted flakes. Lunch was a small sandwich and a piece of fruit. Dinner was a piece of chicken, baked potato and sometimes a vegetable. She made homemade pizza sometimes. She made rice with a burgundy beef sauce sometimes (my personal favorite). She made pork chops sometimes.
My sister and I would eat powdered sugar with a spoon when she wasn't home.
From your post, I gather that your husband isn't primal? If that's the case, that's probably the biggest hurdle in making sure your house is free of non-primal "food".
I'll share my situation, for what it's worth:
My husband and I are both primal. We have his 7 year old daughter with us half of the time. Her mother and step-father are not primal by a long shot. However, when she is with us, she eats as strict a diet as we do, and loves it. She eats smaller portions of whatever we're having for breakfast and dinner. She picks out her lunches to take to school, which include carrots, mushrooms, broccoli, pesto, chicken/beef sliced into smaller pieces, hard boiled eggs, Kerrygold cheese slices, 85% dark chocolate, etc. Occasionally she'll ask for a slice of cake or a cookie if we're at a party, but we've gone over why those are things we don't eat, and she usually understands. We have had our share of her refusing to eat something we give her (when it does happen, it's the day before we take her back to Mom), but in the end, she's the kid and we're the parents, so if she doesn't eat what we give to her, she doesn't eat.
I understand that if your husband isn't supportive in eating this way that you'll have stuff around the house to be a temptation, but as long as he's willing to back you up when it comes to telling your daughter what she's going to eat and enforcing that, just let her know what she will and won't be allowed to eat when she's home and stick to your guns.
Philosophically - your daughter has no say at all. If you really believe that, and don't bend from your purpose, she will have no choice but to come along.
I know you are probably thinking I don't know what I am talking about, but I have four girls, ages 9, 12, 14 and 15, and all but the 9 yo have special diets, but she is the picky eater of the bunch. The 12 yo can't have any grains, any legumes, any dairy, and no added sugars. The 14 yo is a dairy-allergic celiac. And the 15 yo can't have artificial food colors, preservatives, additives and tends to be a carb addict with its attendant insulin roller coaster.
Truly, really, seriously, honestly - you start to provide really tasty Primal individual foods/meals on whatever timetable you choose for your family, because you know best where you can start the transition, and just don't stop. You are the moving freight train. You are the glacier. You are the tides of the ocean and the phases of the moon - simply unstoppable. Your DD is 9 - Primal isn't child abuse, and it isn't optional.
Don't preach - just do. You have preached already. If your hubby doesn't want the fuss, you will have to do the cooking for a while. This forum has a recipe board - mine it for all it is worth.
My advice is to start slowly and continue slowly. Make one change, make it stick, and then on to the other one. And do not ever, ever, say you are sorry - you are not sorry that you are changing her food for the better because you love her. And no excuses to the parents of her friends - this is what she needs to be healthy - basta.
Yeah, she will trade off her lunches and other assorted stuff for a while. You can take it. What other option is there?
Bring her into the kitchen and goof around while you BOTH prepare food together. No preaching, no lectures, just food, and answers for her if she asks questions. Taste test a lot. Take jaunts to farmer's markets and farm stands. Note her reactions to everything, but don't get emotional either way.
For otherwise typical kids, hunger wins out every time. Mine have gone 24 hours-plus with no food here and there while they were getting off some food or another during their transitions into their various diets (they refused to eat) - it won't kill them, and it is a good lesson that you won't bend and the hunger only increases while those hot meals keep on appearing on the table...
For some courage, try reading "French Kids Eat Everything" by Karen LeBillon. It isn't a Primal book, but her adventures with getting her SAD kids - and herself - into much better eating are exquisitely entertaining - and educational.
And talk to the hubby - he has to promise not to hamstring your efforts with yourself or your kids. If he flat-out refuses, then you have his fish to fry before you can begin on the kids, and that is another thread...
Good Luck and I know you can do this!!
The easiest way to get kids into the Paleo/Primal groove is to let them help (easy for them, harder for us!). My son always turned his nose up at spaghetti squash, until...I made it with meatballs, tomato sauce and squash, and told him it was a volcano (his thing right now), the squash was the mountain, the sauce was the lava and the meatballs were lava rocks! My son got to make meatballs, scrape squash, and open cans.