[QUOTE=Knifegill;948626]I have been severely conditioned, since infancy, to revere pizza as a golden shrine; a soft, sweet reward. The very sight of it gives me a patriotic thud in my chest, my heart skips a beat in anticipation. Not only was it offered to me almost daily throughout my youth at churches, day care, youth events and picnics, etc., but everything in the universe told me to eat it, a lot, and then eat some more. This is one tough umbilicus to slice.
I have a weakness that is a strength. I am EASILY reprogrammed. [B]I can change my thinking, and let others do so, on a dime. I know how infinitesimal I really am in this world, and that at any given time much of what I know is wrong. I've learned that over and over. So it's not a big leap to let my reality be rewritten if I am convinced it's for the better.[/B] I know, with proper treatment, I can learn to view pizza as evil. I've already condemned soda, snickers, and more. Yet the very same artifices which comprise those assembled into a large, round, oil pie still symbolize ME. I am the pizza generation, left to die in a food desert, kept from the food that would free my mind. The shackles are OFF but I stay near the ball because I know it and love it. It is a toy, dangerous and poisonous; a fire to dance in carelessly - awakening to scars in the morning.
[url=http://www.alfyspizza.com/menu_pizza.htm]ALFY'S - Voted Best Pizza and Salad Bar[/url]
Alfy's pizza is endorsed by Providence General Medical Center, my employer. How SICK, SICK, SICK is this system?
I cannot find them online. Must be a dirty secret.
Anyway, I will begin to voluntarily feel disgust when I see pizza. The same I feel for donuts and macaroni and cheese. I have to break the emotional tie, recognize it as the anti-food that it is, no matter what idolatrous shape it's mashed into. Starting now.[/QUOTE]
That's all levels of deep. Your very self aware....that's kinda awesome.
This topic called me - I'm 33 years old, and for Christmas last year my mother bought the original TMNT movie. They were also my first "real" concert. *sigh* Michaelangelo was the coolest - I sculpted him in clay one year for art class. My mother still has it. *giggle*
Anyway, I totally feel you. I'm really struggling off and on as it's just so hard for me to give up some things that were just staples of my life, and were used as rewards. "Hey, you read so many books that you're going to get FREE PIZZA from Pizza Hut!" It tastes wonderful but I feel this mortifying guilt afterwards as when I eat it, I EAT it. None of this girly nibbling on one slice and proclaiming fullness. Oh no, I'll eat half a pizza and only stop because my friends will be eyeing me warily.
There wasn't really any point to this posting other than to agree with the fantasticness of TMNT, and to commiserate over pizza. :-)
Pizza is one tough habit to kick. I make/or made really amazing Pizzas from scratch. Pizza was one of the first things that I started doing expermental cooking on, and one of the things that my friends still want me to cook for them for dinner. I do miss it, but since getting off of the grains, I feel better and have been losing weight almost effortlessly (yay no more cardio everyday).
I once watched all three TMNT movies simultaneously to see how they synced up. III was horrible, of course, but I and II had a lot of interesting simultaneous crossovers. Wrote an article about it on an old website of mine.
Anyway, just this past weekend I fried the shit out of some eggplant slices and topped them with sauteed garlic & onion, pizza sauce and cheese and crisped them under the broiler. It was a ghetto eggplant parm attempt but it ended up tasting a lot like pizza...very satisfying!
What do you think mutated those turtles?
Oh and that reprogramming thing, it's a trait from your autism. I have it too.
[QUOTE=Alex Good;949533]What do you think mutated those turtles?[/QUOTE]
I'm gonna blame Monsanto
[quote]Oh and that reprogramming thing, it's a trait from your autism. I have it too.[/quote]
Good to know! I have yet to completely draw those lines. Those very traits that set me apart, that make me who I am - I still OWN them. Even though I understand now why I talked to animals before I talked to people, and can hear dog whistles and imitate almost every animal sound I hear - it's still me. Even though I know why I can't play team sports, I am still a person who hates football, and that won't change just because I've read about why I don't interpret body language correctly. As tempted as I am to take scissors and try to cut apart my past, childhood, etc. to find the parts of me that aren't stereotypical undiagnosed asperger's, I have to resist for sanity's sake. Not ready yet. On the alert and taking mental notes, and grateful for every insight, yes! Just not ready for the journals and writing, etc. Soon.
Love it when you talk about asp'. It really is a fascinating topic, seeing how we people are different than one another.
Haven't eaten pizza since starting this thread! So, like three days? Well, I guess it's a start.
Okay, okay. Still riding this dragon. Had three or four pieces when we fed my in-laws for helping us to move, that was about five days ago, I think? BUT!!! Today the hospital is overflowing with boxes of free pizza and I don't want any of it. I have already learned to identify it as the trash that it is. I ask myself, "Do you want pain, farts, and boils?" while staring it down, and the answer keeps being no.