Primal giving me an eating disorder
I think after 2.5 years of eating [B]mostly[/B] primal foods, it is finally taking a toll on me. I am cheating more and more, resulting back in weight gain, which makes me hate my body and I feel aweful after eating ANYTHING.
I am so limited on breakfasts (sorry, having bacon and eggs or warm steak or salad for breakfast was only fun at the start), and without my raw milk I tend to raid the kitchen even more.
I cut out milk completely last year for about 7 months and it resulted in a quick weight loss of 10 lbs but then a whopping weight gain of 15 lbs because my body slowed down it's metabolism and I raided the kitchen for carbs, which resulted in eating a ton of pumpkin fried in butter. I just can't go low carb, it back fires shortly after.
The more I think about how I can't have something because it raises insulin or it ruins my teeth, the worse the cravings get for food because that is what I constantly think about, from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed.
Gosh dang it, I just want to be free from this food obsession, primal this, pirmal that. After 2.5 years I am finally completely mentally insane from it.
It was much easier to just have all the CW foods in the house and just say 'no', than it is to have these primal foods here and constantly thinking about nutrition and bone health and whatnot.
Learning about nutrition and caveman foods was good and probably saved me a ton of medical bills in the near future, but it sure isn't doing much for my mental health, when I'm obsessing about what I can and cannot eat and what is more nutritious, and wondering at which point of IF my bones will suffer so I never go beyond 18 hours, even though I'm still not even hungry.
And it doesn't help that REAL food comes in such large amounts that I have to eat large amounts to make it be gone or it'll rot. I can't just buy 2 leaves of Mustard Greens, NO I have to buy a huge bundle and then stash it somewhere alongside the walls in the fridge...
I am sick of food, sick of eating, yet I can't stop, I just wish food would leave me alone...LOL
Surely you guys probably think I'm a nutcase, I don't blame anyone, go ahead and flame away I deserve it.
Someone f*dging slap me.