working out again after ED - how to progress?
I'm new to the forum, mostly because I have question I can't really find a lot of information about elsewhere. Basically, I'm currently recovering from anorexia: a few years of subclinical restriction which snowballed really badly about a year and a half ago. I started working out more and more, cutting more and more calories, until I reached a point where for about 8 months, I would literally eat nothing at all (except water and coffee) for 10-16 days at a time. These fasts would be punctuated by periods where I had to be around my boyfriend or family and have to eat (as little as possible) of normal meals. When I was rushed to the hospital in April with a failing heart (along with pretty much every organ in my body) and a BMI of 14.7, my doctor was crying because she was sure I was going to die. I didn't, though, and was clearly forced into recovery at that point.
It's been a little over three months (I've been pretty strictly paleo since the start of my recovery), I'm at a BMI 20, and I was cleared to exercise a while ago. Since then I've been following the PBF plan pretty much: I walk for 30-40 minutes every day at about 3.5-4.5 mph, every other day I do "strength" with the PBF movements (wall squats, wall presses + a few knee pushups, forearm planks, etc) and a quick sprint session once a week.
My problem is, the things I am doing barely qualify as working out, but they're far from effortless for me; I can only do about five knee pushups before my form goes to shit and failure comes soon after that. I'd love to be doing heavy lifting but have really no idea where to start and am pretty terrified of looking like an idiot in the weightroom. My muscles completely atrophied over the course of my ED, and my heart physically shrunk a good deal as well. How much more can/should I be doing to build muscle/burn fat? (I can't really lose weight at the moment, because I'll be "flagged" and possibly sent inpatient, but I'd like to improve my body composition as much as possible since so much of the recovery weight was fat.)
Sorry to barge in with such a lengthy post, but I'm really at a loss of how to do this properly + primally while still seeing results. Any advice would be super appreciated!