[QUOTE=Saoirse;914157]I wonder if my female friends think that of me, i think they've become used to it by now. I don't ever call just to chat, then phone calls are always awkward because it's difficult for me to beat around the bush. I don't mind talking on the phone, b[B]ut I generally can't think of anything to talk about except the reason I called. I have one friend who calls to chat and she talks a lot. nothing wrong with that, just difficult for me to sustain a conversation, and i don't want to seem unfriendly because i'm not. i just don't usually "chat[/B]."[/QUOTE]
I am exactly like you in that regard!
I'm with you there - I hate talking on the phone. If my phone rings I dread picking it up in case it's bad news (quite likely now, actually, as my mum's on the exit ramp). I grudgingly bought a mobile about three years ago when I was meeting friends in Paris and needed to get in touch with them so I got the most basic model possible - call and text only. It stays off unless I need to use it to tell someone I'm running late. I think I've topped it up once in all that time.
I don't "go shopping" or get a mani/pedi because it's a waste of time for me that I could be using to do something more interesting, like correcting the endless swarms of people on the internet that are wrong because they disagree with me.[/QUOTE]
I love that! :cool:
Since I was two years old, my closest friends have only ever been male. I went to an all girls' school for four years and teenage girls are so bitchy, backstabbing and completely shallow ie obsessed with their hair, makeup and who's bonking whom it really turned me off having female friends.
I nearly always wear trousers and like simple linen, cotton and silk clothes without lots of fussy detailing. I have an ever increasing collection of mens' tshirts because they aren't tight and clingy generally. I wear long skirts if I run out of clean trousers. I will wear makeup if I'm going to an event eg UK premiere of Erasing James Franco at Tate Modern in 2009 but generally I don't bother, just moisturiser/sunscreen. I used to have facials every month when I worked in London. I do have handbags but nothing really girly, I don't do clutches for example. Don't do high heels either, I live in Crocs.
I don't have anything in common with most women, no kids (stepdaughter lives in USA), I am interested in DIY and interior decoration but most women I've met aren't concerned with more than a huge telly and an expensive looking kitchen. I love to cook whereas many women are just shovelling junk food in their brats.
I get along so easily with blokes - I can talk Formula One, tennis and football (soccer), gardening, action adventure movies, politics, baseball, fishing..
I have personally always felt more comfortable around men. I'm not going to say that I hate women, but I can definitely say that I don't feel comfortable in the presence of some women, namely girly-girls. My post-secondary education was in male dominated environments and I've always worked in a male dominant environment, so maybe this has a part in it. The women that I do work with are generally not girly-girls. I also find that I don't initially trust most women. I've been burned by a few in the past, so I find that I'm initially very guarded with what I say to them. I'm not into gossip and I'm honest, which doesn't always go over very well with overly sensitive people. I'm not into the things that are often important to women, such as marriage, having children, etc, so I find it increasingly hard to relate to women in my age group (late 20's to mid 30's) in which these things are often a priority. I simply find that I get along better with most men simply because my interests are more compatible with them.
[QUOTE=Metric;915140]I also find that I don't initially trust most women. I've been burned by a few in the past, so I find that I'm initially very guarded with what I say to them.[/QUOTE]
That's interesting and actually pretty common. Like I said, I'm outnumbered my men literally 20:1 at my job. I think the most we ever had was 4 women working in my department, and that was when we had about 100 people. We would get a new female worker, and the veterans would avoid her like the plague. I finally figured out that there are two types of women that work predominantly male jobs - the kind that just suck it up and get the job done, and the kind that bat their eyes and get the guys to do it for them. No one would befriend the new girl until they figured out which one she was because there was no way they wanted to be even slightly identified with a slacker after all of the work they had done proving themselves.
My other "trust" issue is that most male friends will tell you up front that they don't like something you did. They're missing the social filter of "You can't say that!", and I really appreciate it. Many of the women I've worked with will only tell [I]other people [/I]about things you do that they don't like. They're totally non-confrontational, which really means backstabbing. My female friends are very upfront and honest with me, which is why we're friends.
My other "trust" issue is that most male friends will tell you up front that they don't like something you did. They're missing the social filter of "You can't say that!", and I really appreciate it. Many of the women I've worked with will only tell [I]other people [/I]about things you do that they don't like. They're totally non-confrontational, which really means backstabbing. My female friends are very upfront and honest with me, which is why we're friends.[/QUOTE]
You've hit the nail on the head. Same deal for me.
I don't understand...I mean I am trying to, but I don't. I get that there are lots of women who don't fit the stereotype of what femininity is. Since I don't always either. I burp and fart in public and I call people on it when they call me a lady (frack that bugs me!). I get that some women buy into that idea wholeheartedly and act stupid. I also get that there are women who are mean back stabbers. I have been acquainted with some of them and been stabbed in the back by them.
However, I generally trust men about as far as I could throw one.
In other words, I don't really trust [I]anyone[/I] until I get to know them a bit, male or female, and then decide if I can take a risk and make myself more vulnerable. But that is life isn't it? Letting yourself be vulnerable in order to build relationships with people. It's a risk, but one we have to take if we are really going to live.
[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]having spent most of my adult life working in restaurants, with the public, i really don't like people much, but in that work setting, find it much easier to deal with groups of men who are dining out vs. women. the women are maddeningly indecisive and all have to talk about how "not" hungry they are. they have more special requests and tip less than men. if i was empress of the universe women going out in groups of more than 3 would not be allowed.
i work with more women in this restaurant than i have in previous places and i really only like a few of them. most of them bond over reality tv and how stoopid their b/f's and husbands are. it makes my ears bleed, but it's pretty easy to not engage more than necessary.
i wear mascara everyday and own high heels. i enjoy girly things like cooking and keeping a nice home, but i am another woman who has never married, nor do i have children. most women think i am freakish for this, and even though my grandmother has met numerous men of mine, lol, she still thinks i might be a lesbian.
i never had that wedding day -- big dress fantasy, so it wasn't something i pursued and i don't like babies so never had any. i think my life is better for both of those decisions and i don't really care how it looks to others.
i also really, really like sex, which is weird for most women. or so i hear!!
as i've gotten older, it's easier to have a social filter and simply not clutter my life with people i don't like. men and women.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Sounds like many of the women I know. I don't, because it's a lot of work and i don't sleep well in a tent when i have to share my bag with a toddler, but we will when they are less work. Where in Wyoming are you? i'm around an hour from your border![/QUOTE]
I'm in Lander WY - kind of central WY, near the Wind River Range. People here, especially the women, are soooo different from other places I've lived. THey are quite independent, fun and active without the cattiness I've seen elsewhere.