Recovering bulimic/anorexic with depression
I'm a 41 year old that still fights with anorexic tendencies. I also suffer from (or deal with) depression. Sadly they seem to go hand in hand. I'm overweight, big time. My problem (or rather part of my problem) is when I am feeling okay mentally and have the resolve to start getting into better health it only lasts a little while until "ana" comes out and tells me I'm not losing fast enough, or that I need to eat less and work out more.
I hate this cycle. I go on a bender (food/drink) and get slovenly but my mental health is okay. I determine that my mental health is okay and start to cut back on the shit that I am ingesting. I even was able to stick to Primal for 2 months and felt great. Then in comes Ana and I cut back more and more. I can feel the slippery slope that comes on and to combat it I start eating shit again. That's where I am now. Feeling depressed and anxious and eating all kinds of things that I know I shouldn't. I really want to switch back to Primal but am feeling beaten down, like I can't do it, even though logically I know I can. I wish the Primal fairies would come into my house and help me through it. Get me started and follow up with me from time to time. I'm obviously delusional.
I was so gung ho to begin with. I've got the book, two cookbooks. I haven't ordered the 21 day yet. I'm not sure I'd start using it.
Any suggestions on how to break the cycle?