The other day (actually about 3 months ago, about 5lb under my highest ever weight), I got on the bus and sat opposite a petite lady and her toddler.
This lady would've been late 20s, and probably 110lb. I was sort of looking at them, but also sort of looking around in general (I mean, what do you really do on a bus?). I became aware that they were talking about me, mainly because of the lady's startled expression (I never would've pricked up my ears and tuned into their conversation if I hadn't noticed her face and how she was looking at me). It went something like this:
Toddler: "Mum, why is that girl so fat?"
Mum: *looking extremely uncomfortable* "Maybe she has a baby growing inside her"
This is the point I realised they were talking about me, and looked at them properly
Mum: "Perhaps a better question to ask would be, why is that girl so pretty?"
Toddler: Just stares at me for about 30 seconds, then goes on to ask her mum how babies get out once they're fully grown... mother has to tell her about a "special opening" and the toddler starts looking for one....
I mean, I found it pretty funny. I don't carry my weight in my belly, I think the toddler just knew I was "big" and the mum didn't know what to say, because I'm very much a pear (my waist would've been like 39" then, to my 52" hips!!). The thought ran through my head at the time "yeah..... pregnant and carrying my baby in my butt?!?!"
The ensuing conversation about where babies come out of was even funnier.
I had been talking a lot to my daughter about eating choices when she was about four years old. One particular convo was about treats, that we can still eat ice cream, but we only eat a little bit, sometimes, so we stay healthy & don't get fat. We were in the frozen section and a largish lady down the aisle was buying ice cream. My daughter practically yelled,
"MOM! WHY IS THAT LADY BUYING MORE ICE CREAM! SHE ALREADY ATE TOO MUCH!"
Oh my god you guys had better keep these coming because I love when I have to clamp both hands over my mouth at work to stop the giggles from escaping!
These are great.
The nail salon women are always very honest. I had a pedicure last night and the owner mentioned I had lost weight and looked much better then when I was fat. And yelled at me about my unkempt nails.
These are great. Found this one today, said by Prince Phillip, Queen Elizabeth II's husband, who is known for his verbal insensitivities...
"You could do with losing a little bit of weight." To a 13yo astronaut hopeful.
My best friend, (through the stress of a divorce, being laid off, etc), picked up his smoking habit after not smoking for 10 years. My 6 year old one day greets him with a hug and lurched away and bluntly pointed out... "Uncle Nick! You stink really bad!" And then she ran off chasing her little sister making fake retching noises.
He stopped smoking again after that. Kids have the uncanny ability to motivate adults. My motivation was my lovely daughters little rhyme she created for me "Daddy McFatty".
The ones I love are when kids see the beauty in what we consider flaws. My daughter once complimented somebody on her "sparkly teeth" (braces) and I've heard little boys comment on "really cool scars" and once a kid about liking Mommy "soft and squishy" as skinny people are hard and pokey.
The majority of the moms at my DS's school are, umm, HUUUUUUGE ADULTS. Not a huge surprise, because the district is one of the lowest-income districts in the city. However, I am not overweight, which makes me sort of stick out in the crowd. I asked him once on the way home from an event if it was weird for him that his mom looked so different from all his friends moms. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, no way, you are intimidating, you are really tiny and strong!
I laughed for hours over that one.... have never been referred to as 'intimidating' before!
The kids are of many minds about my Primal experiment.
Number 2 (the daughter, not the BM...) thinks it is sooo cool that Mom is getting trimmer and fitting into more fashionable clothing (didn't care to when I got bigger - didn't feel attractive). This is also the kid who sports a beginning six-pack and thinks she wants to go into makeup and fashion as a career. "Mom, (hugging) you feel so much better!"
Number 1 is a little unhappy. She is a carb addict, loves to make homemade bread, peanut butter cookies (her PB cookies made me like PB cookies for the first time!) and fudge brownies, is my snuggle-bunny and is getting scared that I will ask her to go Primal, too. "Mom, there is less of you to cuddle with:("
Number 3 (the special-needs one) only cares that I have more energy. Her take on it: "Again! Again!" as I play outside with her.
Number 4 is my legalist. Her schtick: "Moooooooom!! Papa is getting rice crackers! Is THAT Primal?!?!"
Mine isn't about weight or even out of my kids' mouths, but a friend and I were
walking yesterday and she was telling me how her 1st grader's best friend no longer
wanted to be friends with her anymore, and here is why:
Mom: Why doesn't Ella want to be your friend anymore?
Alyssa: Because I told on her.
Mom: What? Why did you tell on her! Best friends don't tell on best friends!
Alyssa: Mommy, she was hanging upside down on the bars and her PRIVACY WAS SHOWING!
OMG, her PRIVACY?!?!?! I laughed so loud and hard over that, my friend almost had to
summon the crash cart.
Now of course the little girl hanging upside down had underwear on, and no PRIVATES
were showing, but still. Privacy. Hilarious.
I'm going to use it as a noun for my OWN.... privacy....