Skinny girl to fat girl and back to skinny girl - for life
At least that's how I hope it will go.
All my early life I was the skinny girl. That was my body image. Tall, thin, busty. I could eat anything, never exercise and still stay skinny. Eventually I started going to the gym for strength training and did that hard core for 10 years. Met my husband there and everything was grand.
Except that since then I've done nothing except gain weight. To combat it I tried starving myself which only made me hungry and crabby. I tried exercising like a crazy person which only made me tired, hungrier and crabby. My weight steadily increased. I had to buy new clothes.
Then I did the worst thing possible. I gave up. I said fuck it and tried to ignore what my body was doing.
But I stayed active. I hike. I walk...never could be a runner. The weight stayed on. Well that's the way my body likes it, right? Must be ok. My cholesterol is fine and always has been. I don't have HBP or diabetes or any other issues. My weight plateaued off at about 180. It's been there for a few years now. Each time it crept up it was scary, but I couldn't see a way out of it. Conventional diets and programs did not tempt me. I was still the skinny girl in my head, but that changed. Now I had to face reality. I am the fat girl.
But that made things worse. It didn't motivate me, it depressed me. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2010 I thought that having chemo might actually help me lose. When my oncologist said that chemo and radiation probably wouldn't be necessary, I was actually bummed. How's that one? Crazy.
My husband all the while said nothing. He's a fitness nut. WAY more discipline than I have by far. He's always been a body builder (non juice-monkey variety) and about 5 years ago he started running again. He stopped eating yogurt and dropped 20 pounds once. I hate him. In a good way. Lately he's been shifting to kettle bell workouts and more core, whole body movements rather than traditional gym stuff. He taught me the Turkish get up. All this led to his finding the Primal diet and after about a 10 minute convo, we decided to do it.
That was 3 days go. On our weekend grocery run we did not buy one item with grains in it. Imagine, leaving Sam's Club without a case of beer!!! Oh the humanity!
So anyway...we've never been much into processed foods and I haven't drunk soda since I was about 20 (I'm 44) and so breaking a lot of bad habits isn't the problem. Frankly I don't know if we will have any problems on this new food program, but it's good to see a community of folks who get it and can support me if I get crabby.
Phew. That's a crapload of info, ain't it??