Cooking Fails

So I thought it would be fun to post humorous cooking fails/learning experiences. They probably weren't funny at the time, but they may be now. I'll start.

Today:
hot olive oil in pan splashing on to sunburned face cuz I'm a dork

Last night tried doing roasted pumpkin. Burnt my finger and cut the other. My pumpkin came out half baked i think. Some pieces were pretty hard but i ate it all anyway :D

I slopped on coconut oil with a teaspoon on each piece, felt really wrong doing it like that but oh well it's all about learning for a first time cook like me.

technically that's just a goof, not really a cooking fail.

Most of my cooking fails are related to not "knowing" meat, as in, certain cuts I don't know how to cook so well. I'm also rather impatient and prefer to just cook things quickly, so I've learned that pork loins, gizzards and shoulder cuts (and others I'm forgetting) should not be included in stir-frys.

making my first paleo meal (coming from vegetarian), i was heating up a pan of butter on the stove for some eggs. while waiting for that to heat up, i was washing some dishes. i dropped a wine glass into the sink and it broke against another dish. so i scooped up the broken pieces and swiftly turned toward that garbage can to toss is (small kitchen) and my arm bumped the hot frying pan and it fell to the ground while grazing my arm on the way down creating the largest burn i've ever had. this was october, its now almost june and the burn isnt quite gone still. :C incroyable!!

[QUOTE=iniQuity;847356]technically that's just a goof, not really a cooking fail.

Most of my cooking fails are related to not "knowing" meat, as in, certain cuts I don't know how to cook so well. I'm also rather impatient and prefer to just cook things quickly, so I've learned that pork loins, gizzards and shoulder cuts (and others I'm forgetting) should not be included in stir-frys.[/QUOTE]

yikes! I've cut meat wrongly before and ended up chewing on tough meat lol yuckkk

Reversing the salt/sugar ratio to cookies once(Pre-Primal of course). Complete and utter brainfart!

trying to make boiled eggs with eggies, not knowing you're supposed to grease em up first

i always always ALWAYS burn something or make something taste bad when i'm cooking for other people

[QUOTE=bloodorchid;847413]trying to make boiled eggs with eggies, not knowing you're supposed to grease em up first

i always always ALWAYS burn something or make something taste bad when i'm cooking for other people[/QUOTE]

what do you mean grease them up? Are we talking about hard boiled eggs? I just throw mine in the bubbling water.

i buy brown eggs with really thick shells, it's a giant pain in the ask to peel them so i decided to give eggies a try

Lovely pork belly forgotten over a charcoal fire for about 3 hours - there were just tiny little black charred bits left :(

I made a huge meatloaf once with "hidden" liver in it - the whole thing went in the trash - it was horrible.

One of the stupidest moments I have had cooking was making egg bakes for a large group of people. I finished cracking about 2 dozen eggs and realized I was cracking the eggs in to the sink and putting the shells in the bowl :(