BROKE THE STALL. Now 229.1lb / 103.9kg - YAY THE 220s
I started counting calories again. It's so easy to let portion sizes creep up. I also started making myself drink more water because I had been getting lazy with it. And I gave myself longer rest periods between weight sessions. Will probably stop counting calories soon and just do it for maybe a few days each week to keep portions in check. I don't like doing it all the time because I get too worried about the numbers and I don't want to live my life counting anyway.
Lol I'm at 99% progress to my first goal. God it feels like it's taken forever and I am STILL not quite there.
SW: 282.4 lb
CW: 227.7 lb (54.7 lb lost)
First GW: 226.9 lb (99% progress) - Have not been this weight in 4 years
Zzzzz the slowness of things kills me sometimes
Holy holy Nixxy - you rock baby girl ...... that is the most amazing transformation !!! I hope that you are feeling really REALLY proud.
Keep at it
Looking good! You're making awesome progress! Keep it up!!
Haha aw thanks you guys, too cute that you all pop in and keep up with what I'm doing.
I REACHED MY FIRST GOAL WEIGHT TODAY!!!!!!
This means I am now lighter than I have been since I was about 15. So like 6 years ago!! I can't even wrap my head around that idea. I got fat and just never really lost any weight before (besides 5lb here and there which I always regained) so this is so amazing for me, and it is all so real to me now, and I know I'm never going back.
Even though I go through phases where I'm less primal, the principles are so firmly ingrained in my brain I don't even notice how much my habits have changed. Just today I was comparing my grocery trolley to the lady in front of me, and it was surreal. I had been walking around the supermarket worrying and feeling guilty for picking up some tomato sauce with a wheat derivative in the ingredient list, and some tuna with soybean oil in the ingredients, when I almost laughed out loud realising how stupid that is once I saw her trolley compared to mine.
I don't even notice that I'm not buying bread, grains, cereal, pasta, lollies, biscuits, cookies, chips, etc because I'm too busy worrying about 0.001g of soybean oil hahahahaha
I love it that my mindset can change like this and I do not feel deprived in the slightest at all, because I don't even realise I'm "missing out".
I never wanted my primal journal to turn into any kind of boohoo journal like a teenagers diary but I ahve been thinking about things and need to write them down.
I think I’ve figured out why I’ve been a bit “off” this week…
I have been dwelling on the fact that I am not going to be a healthy weight this summer. (In NZ summer is Nov-Feb).
I started this journey in March and I think I had a lot of dreams about this summer and how I’d be more confident and go on big walks and swim in random places and go for runs and bike rides and just be carefree like I use to be.
I didn’t really SAY these things out loud but I think in my subconscious, it has really been a “thing”.
The reality is I had, and still have, a lot of weight to lose. And it’s not realistic to expect that from mid-March to November (7.5 months) I would lose the amount required for me to be a healthy weight. I think the reality of this dawning on me has been creating a few unhappy thoughts and has just been weighing on my mind a bit.
I try REALLY hard not to put all my hopes on losing weight but honestly, it’s all I’ve got. I know how that sounds, but I’m being truthful. I am happy with myself in almost every way EXCEPT for my weight.
I need to be happier and more content, even while I am overweight. I know this, and I have known this from the start. But it’s REALLY hard when people tell you, you just need to love yourself and others will too, because honestly, it has been 4 years and I don’t think a single person has seen me the way I see myself in that time. I LIKE myself, I really do. I probably like myself a bit too much. No one would ever describe me as lacking confidence, really. Everyone is selfconscious at times, so my selfconsciousness about my body is not an obvious part of my character. I don’t buy it any more. I don’t get it, I don’t. I know plenty of overweight girls who basically live as if they’re not overweight (which is exactly how it should be, of course)… but for me, it’s like my life STOPPED when I got fat. And there is nothing else to explain it. I have pored over it for hours, and there is absolutely nothing else besides my weight that has created this change. I am MORE confident now than when I was skinny. I am more intelligent. I am funnier. My personality has developed into a better one… yet none of that has made a difference, and my life is still lacking in many ways because of my weight.
I just don’t know. Like I feel so DONE sometimes. How can people tell you these positive things about loving yourself, when they’re not true?!
I don’t want to be a negative nancy. Many people have success as overweight people. It just doesn’t work for me for some reason. Don’t let my mood get you down.
I am writing a more positive post about what these realisations mean for me soon…
I forgot I wrote that boohoo diary post....
Things chugging along slowly as usual. I've stopped calorie counting and am just eating intuitively.
It's study week here so am pretty inactive, thus I am not eating as much as usual. But my hunger is very low as well so my body obviously realises it's hardly moving.
CAN'T WAIT FOR EXAMS TO BE OVER. Then summer time and vege gardening and bike rides and mountain walks and other fun outdoor activities can begin.
Chin up nixxy, you've come so far. So you won't be the slimmest girl in the beach this year, you certainly have nothing to be ashamed of and putting off getting out there enjoying the great NZ country side/beaches because you aren't a "healthy weight" is a load of crap.
Get out there, live life and enjoy yourself!
Arse kicked?.. ;-)
Good luck with your exams too!
[QUOTE=Misabi;985771]Chin up nixxy, you've come so far. So you won't be the slimmest girl in the beach this year, you certainly have nothing to be ashamed of and putting off getting out there enjoying the great NZ country side/beaches because you aren't a "healthy weight" is a load of crap.
Get out there, live life and enjoy yourself!
Arse kicked?.. ;-)
Good luck with your exams too![/QUOTE]
Haha thank you for the encouragement!
It's hard not to be annoyed that I'm losing yet another summer to my lack of confidence though.
It would help if all my friends weren't so darn skinny. I know that's bad logic but seriously, standing next to 10 girls who all weigh under 70kg and are all taller than me is never a good confidence boost ahahaha.
I'll enjoy myself either way though :)