Did my 3.86m/6.21k lake route tonight... just at an hour.
Went kind of late, but walking in the dark is just as well when it's a hundred degrees during the day.
The pups appreciate that the ground is cool and not burning their paws... I suppose if I ever want to take them out during the day I'll have to buy them some silly looking booties.
Last week when I walked Gunnar to the vet for a check up on his ears during the day time we had to cross a parking lot and he was stepping funning, so I ran him to the nearest grass really quick. Poor guy.
There will be no gym membership for swimming until I get this whole VA thing straightened out.
Until then I will be stressed.
I've been on the phone several times in the past few days to a veterans rep lawyer about it, and supposedly it shouldn't be able to happen at all... as in there is a by-law against it. But he says it's not like they won't try to break their own rules, they do it all the time because most people won't fight for themselves.
I haven't succumbed to any stress eating yet... it's a good thing.
That won't help.
My body is a weird place.
The scale is in stasis. It seems to be broken... immovable.
I ate ice cream with husband exactly once this month. That was my only "treat".
I know how much food I eat.
I know how little much of the time.
How many days of the week I only have my coffee with a splash of cream(no it's not a big splash) for breakfast, water all day, and about 8-9oz of meat with a salad and half an avocado for dinner.
A couple days a week I eat a little more carbs... some extra fruit with that dinner.
Some days I have it fattier. Some days leaner.
Once every couple of weeks I have a big ass carb day and give myself a headache, but enjoy it anyway.
Mostly my calories are about 1200 a day. I'm 5'9" ... you would THINK weight loss would happen.
(Just want to say it's not because I'm trying to restrict that low, that's just how hungry I am so that's what I eat...)
No symptoms of any issues.
No low thyriod.
I feel really good. No fatigue. No low body temperature.
The diet I eat does maintain my head/brain wonderfully!
Now today I put on a shirt I hadn't in a while and I saw that I'm changing shape.
A proper shirt to tell these things by. A fitted button up shirt with darts and everything.
It was loose all over my body where it was tight and even straining at this same weight before, a few months ago when I tried it on as a prospective for traveling for a funeral.
Around my waist, ribs, chest...even though my boobs stayed the same size when I wend down a band size on my bra, back, a little on my shoulders...
Still tight on my freaking fatty stupid upper arms, but not quite as tight as before
I think my upper arms are like thighs. They just won't let it go!
My gramma on my mother's side had these arms, and my great gramma... I know where I got them.
I got a lot of my looks from those women. And love(ed) them deeply. Smart, wonderful, bright, witty, women!
The thighs and butt, and temperament, I don't mind. Serious.
Not wild about the arms though. :rolleyes:
My husband has begun searching for a new job.
The reality of possibly losing most of my benefits has him on edge and searching far and wide.
Places like Cheyenne, Wyoming. To which I say WTF, and whatever.
It's not like it matters that much... I just won't EVER go outside again.
But for an additional 23k a year to cover our losses, I'd suck it up.
And he says if he could get on at one of the less desirable spots like that, then he could transfer to a better location later... somewhere warm again at least.
Basically this is all my fault for not keeping inside the VA medical system for treatments, even though I AM under treatment via my internal generator/spinal cord stimulator... but that doesn't show up in their records as monthly or regular treatment maintenance even though it maintains me every freaking day of my life. AND I have to see a person from OUTSIDE the VA to get it tuned up, which I have done a couple of times in the past year... but that doesn't show up in their records either.
I'm supposed to stay in their records on some sort of medication or something even though the meds they like to keep me on make me sick and miserable... it's like a freaking shell game I'm supposed to play with them to stay within the system to retain my benefits. It's sick.
Hopefully this will work out like the rep says and he will get it overturned on the basis of time and the fact that dropping me now is against their own statute. And if husband get a higher paying job in BumF*k out in the wild west... I guess that will be fine too. Federal retirement at better pay won't hurt his feelings over what he has now. I'll just have to adjust. And invest in lots of silk and wool layers I guess.
Hiking might be OK at least.
Cheyenne isn't the only place he is dropping his name in the bucket. It's just the only place I can remember atm.
The other place was equally cold and mid-westy.
Maybe Minneapolis. Eeeeppp! :eek:
Also... this would all be a lot easier if I'd just win the lottery or something.
Night help if I actually played. LOL
Hopefully your husband finds something acceptable in a location you can live with and enjoy. As for the VA...ugh...it is why I will never fully support socialized healthcare in this country.
[QUOTE=canio6;1238520]Hopefully your husband finds something acceptable in a location you can live with and enjoy. As for the VA...ugh...it is why I will never fully support socialized healthcare in this country.[/QUOTE]
Trust me... I know. And I try to warn people who talk all warm and fuzzy about socialized medicine.
You know what they want me to live on for meds... Morphine.
Even when I'm doing pretty good I shouldn't be able to admit it and should just be compliant and swallow my pills like a good patient. It makes me crazy.
My disease is complicated... I have peaks and valleys.
I could wake up tomorrow needing surgery again, NEEDING the pain meds, and it could take the VA anywhere from 4months at the soonest to 2 f*cking years to get me sorted out...
That's why they shouldn't just reduce my rating when I look like I'm doing well because I'm on a non-narcotic medicine from an outside source that controls pain, plus my generator, plus I'm on a peak because I've learned to manage my symptoms really well through diet (no freaking thanks to them or any other doctor).
That peak could crash really quickly.
My VA rep said that if we can get this overturned he can probably get me a permanent status so that I don't have to worry about this anymore.
I mean, this shit is service connected and has eaten away my whole adult life. (25- current... almost 40)
I couldn't have kids with my husband because of this thing.
I lost years to drooling and being zonked out on pain meds.
(not to mention the other side effects that are also BAD, in the gut)
I lost years to surgery after surgery.
Years of no driving at all, and being pushed in wheelchairs if I wanted to go anywhere with my family.
I don't deserve to be dumped on my ass.
I have to live with this disease for the rest of my life, there is NO cure... and I don't deserve to be punished for the times I'm not literally suffering every minute of the day so that I wonder if suicide isn't the better option.
Feeling overwhelmed and ranty. :rolleyes:
Rant away, my dear. I hope things turn out okay and you get that permanent status! Hulky and I have some anger towards the VA for his own injuries, not to mention the Army, for calling him back after he was declared un-deployable. Stupid asshats don't know how to check their own records.
Feeling overwhelmed and ranty. :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]
After dealing with the VA, if overwhelmed and ranty is the worst you feel then there is absolutely no reason to apologize. Seriously, rant away. F*ck those sonsabitches.
*fingers crossed* on getting permanent status. You being able to relax would be good :)
You know- Cheyenne is a heck of a lot closer to me than Florida. It might be a nice "central" location for you, me, Mud Flinger, Saiorse . . .
There is always room in the Magical Bamboo Forest!!!
Did I ever mention that I HATE being cold. :p
It's partly because of my nerve disease.
It causes blood flow issues and my right extremities are often icicles even at normal temps.
Colder than my left side.
Layers I guess.
I would deal with it.
Plus. There is lots of stuff I'd love to see out there... cool national parks and stuff.
I've done lots of east and west coast.
Some mid-west wouldn't kill me!
I also don't really drive by myself anymore unless it's a short trip to the grocery store.
I have found that I'm not getting anymore comfortable with it as time passes.
Extended driving continues to mess with my head and make me uneasy, particularly in heavy traffic or at night.
In remote areas without too many lights and things it's not so bad.
[QUOTE=Gay Panda;1238535]There is always room in the Magical Bamboo Forest!!![/QUOTE]
You know Panda, I don't think that husband has seen any listing under that particular city.