I'm sorry about your grandfather, you should feel grateful that you had so much time with him. I lost the only grandfather I knew about 10 years ago and still think about him quite a bit. I'll have a dream about him occasionally and wake up feeling refreshed and loved, almost like he stopped by to visit me and we chatted it up. I'm glad you can travel, now go see him.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grampa. Go, enjoy your last times with him. Laugh, love, live. I'm glad your health has worked out well enough to be able to visit him.
Cori, again, sorry to hear about your grandfather. Celebrate his long life and cherish your times with him.
The journal news is... astounding. And no, I'm not convinced the ship has sailed... maybe I'm just an annoying fucking chirping optimist, but who knows where this could lead? You dealt with this pain for how long? And how long might it take to peel away, layer after layer, and actually heal?
I know it's your life and your pain and your brain, but it is just a fascinating thing to hear of your progress. Think of how many people suffering from this who might likewise be able to change their ways and find improvement? Just wow.
[QUOTE=Shelli;974857]Cori, I never comment in journals and rarely on the forum but I've read your journal from start to finish. I am in absolute awe over your complete acceptance and grace you exhibit with your health problems. Your post today left me with jaw on chest. I'm so glad for you! So glad you are feeling better! Amazing. :)[/QUOTE]
I'm honored that you came forward from your usual lurking status to say those kind words...
I only hope that everyone finds as much success as I have by eating healthy whole natural foods, and eliminating those profoundly manipulated by man from their diet. It really has been quite a journey for me.
Thank you all for the well wishes and condolences where my grandfather is concerned.
He was a man who indeed lived a full life, with successes and failings.
And he was, I think above all things, a really spectacular grandfather.
It was simply something he excelled at.
There will be a post about him on my return I do believe.
I have purchased my ticket (one way so that I don't have to worry about timing issues), made arrangements, and been putting things steadily in order.
So many things to do.
On the upside I found very nice smaller size dress pants, with tags still on, in my closet that are probably about 6 years old that now fit wonderfully.
And lovely matching tops.
And my 'emergency shoes' (very conservative black pumps with a small buckle) were right in the emergency shoe spot.
Though they definitely need a set of inserts and some moleskin along the heels.
Also, a very thin, baby blue, Nike micro-fleece hoodie that I bought and never wore about the same time as those pants because it fit snugly... now fits and will be handy for cool evenings up there, and less bulky for packing that my larger old hoodies.
And a few other things.
Closet shopping means no actual shopping, thank all the gods for small favors.
I'm good at getting rid of the too big, or the stained/torn/worn, or the out dated... but if it's classic and in nice shape and a bit small it tends to stay.
Dogs are washed.
Reef tank has been water changed and set and husband instructed on feeding.
Things are being cleaned and put in order for husband while I'm gone.
Husband will be staying home since he can't take off work for the whole week or whatever I will be gone.
He will likely drive up for the funeral and drive me back home.
While I'm in TN I will also be visiting my other two grandparents, also in their 90's, who are still alive.
Both in better shape than this grandfather and still very mentally functional.
Grandfather is fading fast, organs are failing... I'm really hoping to make it in time Friday.
I'm a little worried that the pressure of flying is going to mess with my head, but I'm trying not to stress over it.
I really am more worried over the "food" issues...
They shouldn't be too big a deal at my brother's house because he hunts/farms and has a freezer full of bass/deer/wild turkey/grassfed beef etc. but there are always navigation landmines.
Normally I would just say that I'd just get 'back on the wagon' once I get back home... like normal people do around here... but you know, I'm not exactly normal. I think if I try and "be nice" and eat crap I'll wind up being sicker... and that doesn't need to happen while I'm 800 miles from home in a stressful situation.
So, I'm loading my guns, and sticking to them.
Maybe I'll keep a tally of how many people roll their eyes at me when I explain that I don't eat certain things because of my health and report back to you how many of them look like they probably have some serious health issues that could be addressed themselves. ;)
I've never seen anyone in lower Tennessee that looked like they had health issues. 0_o
[QUOTE=justyouraveragecavemen;975873]I've never seen anyone in lower Tennessee that looked like they had health issues. 0_o[/QUOTE]
I know what you mean.
But my family isn't exactly typical TN fare.
My family is actually a pretty healthy bunch of people.
The grandfather who is dying is a Scott mixed with Cherokee, out of Della Plain, TX ... a town that no longer exists, except as a small tribute in the road, that was named for his father's sister. Nearest appreciable city, Lubbock.
He spent his life making a good living for his family, well above average, as one of the most skilled brick masons in Memphis.
And stayed very physically fit in the process as you can imagine.
His mother lived alone, in her own home, very healthy until her death, which took her peacefully in her sleep, at 100.
He married a semi-rich, old family money, little Mississippi gal who had at least a couple of centenarians on her side, but who had vices which led to her death several years ago.
Unfortunately these are my 'city' grandparents and they were therefor more into the SAD and CW foods.
Especially once my grandfather got older, into his 80's and others started caring for him... simplified processed foods are easy to put in front of the elderly just like small children... and it chaffed me every time I visited.
Even when I ate CW I ate very much on the "healthy CW" end of the spectrum and was adamantly against things like chicken nuggets and pizza except for the occasional treat. I believed in real food even if that did include whole grain breads, brown rice, legumes etc... you know.
My other two surviving grandparents are from outside Memphis in the rural areas one east, the other south in MS.
Both are of pretty strictly German descent on paper.
I admit that there are some fully redneck family members, but my grandfather and grandmother don't fit.
Grandfather grew up on a family farm (still owned in it's 3rd or 4th generation... but a humble instead of a grand thing) and became a carpenter. He is one of those men who is long and tall and slim, and that's just how it is.
Grandmother not so much, she is short and goes to round a bit... but never excessively.
Grandmother also grew up on a family farm and became a teacher.
Together they always lived a more simple life than they strictly needed to, and though they didn't live directly on grandfather's family farm they lived nearby enough that they worked it and ate it's fruits.
Both of their mothers lived to about 100... Grand father's lived to just over 99, Grandmother's lived to near 101.
I credit the fact that both of them are still doing well to the fact that so much of their diet over the years was good clean farm produce. Yes, SAD foods slipped in... but most of their foods came right from the farm *including mostly natural fats instead of refined oils*. And I think that's why their minds have stayed in such good shape... they have some health issues to be sure. But in their 90's... of course.
I grew up about a 10 minute drive from Tennessee, but that state line has always held some magical properties. Once crossing it, you were in backwoods country. You went from just good ole rednecks to Honey Boo Boo hicks. If you were born just north of that line, then there was no chance of you ever becoming much of anything. I always wondered if they thought the same thing about crossing over into Alabama, probably did.
We're actually going to build our house even closer to Tennessee (if someone will hurry up and buy our house), we'll be maybe 5 minutes away from that dreaded line. The real up side is the old timey butcher shop a few minutes farther into Tennessee. They even process deer there, which I hope to use those services next Monday morning.
It's hard to believe that a person who could hardly leave the house w/o head phones now can go fly on an airplane solo - you are amazing. Congrats hardly says it. Sorry that the reason for the trip is what it is, but would you have gone a visitin' otherwise? Many blessings hide in such tough times...
[QUOTE=justyouraveragecavemen;975943]I grew up about a 10 minute drive from Tennessee, but that state line has always held some magical properties. Once crossing it, you were in backwoods country. You went from just good ole rednecks to Honey Boo Boo hicks. If you were born just north of that line, then there was no chance of you ever becoming much of anything. I always wondered if they thought the same thing about crossing over into Alabama, probably did.
We're actually going to build our house even closer to Tennessee (if someone will hurry up and buy our house), we'll be maybe 5 minutes away from that dreaded line. The real up side is the old timey butcher shop a few minutes farther into Tennessee. They even process deer there, which I hope to use those services next Monday morning.[/QUOTE]
Many wonderful summers were spent in suburban Memphis and especially the rural area outside of Memphis...
I myself grew up on a farm in northern middle TN... in Stewart County... Google Carlisle. It's TINY. Barely a spot in the road in between some bigger spots in the roads that are small towns.
So, south west TN down by that line was a nice change of pace.
Summers eating figs and damson plums until I got sick in between gardening and putting by, and riding ponies, and playing in my great uncle's hay loft to catch 6ft long chicken snakes and scare the pants off my great aunt. ;)
I admit that I generally look forward to coming home with a cooler well stocked with venison and wild turkey from my brother's freezer. This time is no exception.
I will probably snag one of his little .22's and take some long walks in search on cottontails while I'm there as well as nostalgia has had me wishing for them lately. (I'm taking the recipe for wild rabbit and pork belly rillettes w apples someone posted here a bit ago... and i intend to have it!)
[QUOTE=Mud Flinger;975998]It's hard to believe that a person who could hardly leave the house w/o head phones now can go fly on an airplane solo - you are amazing. Congrats hardly says it. Sorry that the reason for the trip is what it is, but would you have gone a visitin' otherwise? Many blessings hide in such tough times...[/QUOTE]
It is indeed true.
I had not intended on traveling do soon.
I will be seeing people, family members, that I haven't seen in quite a while. Some of them in several years.
And though it is a sad time, there are so many happy memories that he gave us all.
It's a good time to remember those.
Just a last thought before I sign off...
I've heard and read this several times over the years and was thinking of it and how perfectly it reminded me of my grandfather.
“What Constitutes Success”
He has achieved success who has lived well,
laughed often and loved much;
who has gained the respect of intelligent men
and the love of little children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
who has left the world better than he found it,
whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty
or failed to express it;
who has always looked for the best in others
and given them the best he had;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction.