Well! I've lost a pound in the past week! Go me! Hooray! And yesterday I was wayyyyy more flexible in some poses than I was even two days prior! Amazeballs.
Well, I'm looking at my money and I don't think I can do 30 days of yoga right away. Maybe on the 25th. I'm rapidly eating my way through my avocadoes and salads, and I need to buy more for the 2nd half of the month. I'm not working enough while I'm here with my brother, so my funds are limited. So food first, then yoga. But I loooooove the way yoga makes me feel! Love it! So I have a birthday coming up. I'mma ask for a hot yoga membership. :)
In other news, I am cranky as HELL. <hiss!> Maybe I need to up my carbs? Or maybe I'm carb detoxing. Hiss.
Hi Kalli - i've enjoyed reading your journal. I can so sympathize with your past 6 months or so. Hang in there, it will get better. Keep up the awesome work. You've given me many good meal ideas to try too.
I think what I need to focus on now is sleep: I'm watching the dog and the cat and my brother and SIL are up in Seattle. I'm alone in the house and it gives me the heebies. There's a Boo Radley house across the street with two super old campers parked in the drive with dudes living in them. There are woods behind the house. My SIL was like woods are so safe! Cities are much more dangerous because of the people. And I'm like, you say that! But when I was a kid one of my friend's older sisters was a Park Ranger and she was out in the woods camped for the night and a guy found her camp and raped her. After he left, she climbed into a tree and hid, and good thing too, because he came back to kill her. I don't know if they ever caught the guy, but woods give me the heebies. Woods are dark, and if someone is in them, there's no light to see them. I've been staying up til I get too exhausted to stay awake, and that is no bueno. Don't like being alone. Right after surgery my SIL and I stayed up til 1pm every night watching BREAKING BAD. That couldn't have been good for our insulin regulation. Gotta get back on track. :-*. Night, dolls.
buy a gun. lol Or sleep with a knife.
I have no other suggestions to make you feel safer. I'm sorry. I've lived in houses where I felt like someone was always there with me even when the house was empty - like I was being watched. I'm convinced those houses were haunted b/c even with the windows and doors locked and shades drawn, I felt like I was watched. So glad I don't have that feeling in my current house.
can you make friends with the guys across the street? Maybe they aren't as creepy as you think and can be beneficial to making you feel safer?
Ooh, I've totally had that feeling of being watched! There was one apartment in Baltimore where I didn't write or paint for two years because I always felt like someone was right there, looking over my shoulder! Maybe next time I should move earlier.
I think I'll just buy some DreamWater and start bedtime at 9, or even 8:30, when its still light out. :)
I tried a BAB this morning and I couldn't eat all of it. I made 3 Aidell's pineapple bacon sausages (13g ptn each), 3 slices bacon (5 g ptn each) and an egg (6g ptn) and only ate 2 of the sausages (begrudgingly) and the bacon (happily). So 41g of ptn. Close enough? I got the Aidell's bc I wanted to try it, but I think they're too sweet. The chicken apple are too sweet too. Oh well.
Yoga is pretty great. My Half Moon is the deepest it's ever been in my life and my camel is nice and deep. I want to work up to full splits in standing bow-pulling pose. :). I hate toe stand because my feet are weak, which means I need it all the more to strengthen them. I'd love to have a limber enough spine to one day do a backbend. I love doing bikram because it stops the chatter in my brain. My studio is good too, because the teachers aren't obnoxious and don't make it a competition or push people to hurt themselves. I've been in studios like that and they're terrible. I think they're for masochists.
My brother is on Keppra, which is an anti-seizure med. It is supposedly the anti-seizure med with the fewest side effects, but for some people, including my brother, it gives them "Keppra rage". It's very weird and sad. Some days it makes him angry at the smallest things, and he'll snap at my SIL. We both know its the medication, and we've talked to the doctors about it, and I think they're not taking us seriously enough. If his medication is a few points lower on seizure prevention and he's not alienating his immediate support network, that right there ups his life expectancy. She nurtures him and takes him to his appointments and feeds him and researches anti-cancer things, like getting him to do acupuncture and tae kwon do to offset fatigue and other radiation side effects. Off medication he is sweet, even-keeled, and one of the best and most open communicators I've ever met. On medication somedays we walk on eggshells. He's 6'4" and big, so something that gives him a rage is really not a good idea. Sometimes I feel like doctors don't take us seriously.
Also, I think his seizure was brought on by his Banana Creme flavored Muscle Milk, which has both acesulfame potassium and sucralose, excitatory neurotoxins. My SIL tried to say something about it and he was like "That's mine and I like it!" And then he tried to make her a berry shake with it. She has a history of eyeritis, and can go temporarily blind. The smallest bit of light can be like knives in her eye. So she never, ever touches artificial sweeteners besides xylitol. He got mad when she wouldn't have the shake.
It's so horrible because we know its not him, it's the medication. But it's hard to not take it personally. Some days he's fine, happy and funny. I don't know. I hope they switch him soon.
I'm thinking of doing a Whole30. I still get Diet Coke cravings and I've been having agave syrup in my coffee. People seem to have magical results with it. Thoughts?
Feeling a little weird after breakfast today. Like maybe my heartbeat is a little fluttery? I looked up the ingredients for Aidell's Pineapple Bacon sausage: Nitrates! Phosphates! Modified Food Starch!
CHICKEN, BACON (PORK, WATER, SALT, SUGAR, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, FLAVORINGS, SODIUM ERYTHORBATE AND SODIUM NITRITE), BROWN SUGAR, DRIED PINEAPPLE, SALT, APPLE CIDER VINEGAR (MALTODEXTRIN, APPLE CIDER VINEGAR, AND MODIFIED FOOD STARCH), SPICES, AND CELERY POWDER, IN A PORK CASING.
Blurg. There goes $15. Well, self. Why don't you look at the ingredients before you buy next time? I suppose I could do that. NOW I KNOW, SELF. NOW I KNOW.
The chicken apple ones are better, even if they are too sweet:
CHICKEN, DRIED APPLES, SALT, FRUIT JUICE CONCENTRATE (APPLE, PINEAPPLE, PEAR, AND PEACH), SPICES AND CELERY POWDER, IN A PORK CASING.
More incentive to do a Whole30. To not feel poisoned like this!
Has your sister-in-law researched nutritional ketosis for both the seizures and cancer treatment? I have read that ketosis is beneficial for both ailments. A good place to start is with Dr. Attia's blog [url=http://www.eatingacademy.com]The Eating Academy | Peter Attia, M.D. The Eating Academy | Peter Attia, M.D.[/url]. Another good source is a book by Drs Phinney and Volek (available on Amazon), and Jimmy Moore's blog [url=http://www.livinglavidalowcarb.com]livinglavidalowcarb.com[/url]. Taking a more natural, diet related approach to his cancer treatment will slow the recovery down, but will also prevent it from coming back - and will consequently make it possible to stop taking the "hulk rage" pills.
I am doing a whole30 right now. I am enjoying it. On day 17.
Regarding Agave: go to [url=http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/03/30/beware-of-the-agave-nectar-health-food.aspx]Shocking! This 'Tequila' Sweetener is Far Worse than High Fructose Corn Syrup[/url] and read about why you should not use agave. Ever.