Darn about your job. For some reason, I was seeing you as doing this really useful job and feeling good about it. Darn. The job in one's life is so huge.
Could it be a balancing thing? Everything else in your life seems to be going so beautifully. All your activities are so positive and your health is good and you're not going bald! You have a wonderful place to live. It seems like we all need a balance. My youngest told me yesterday that maybe I should just embrace my weight, and I'd probably lose -- or at least not be stressed all the time. My health is quite good, it seems, except for bulges here and there, I'm strong as an ox, and have more energy than everybody else. I have enough money for books and time to study. I can be here for my kids and grandkids and I have three beautiful cats. My kids and grandkids and husband are all healthy. My husband has a decent job. My kids are all working now, and I think my youngest is right. Gotta let go on the weight thing -- the migraine thing was a different matter. Avoid the nightshades and fermented aged pickled, and just chill.
So, maybe we each need a balancer -- a nemesis. Don't know. Maybe we could hope for a different balancer for you -- a little more appreciation and positive stuff in the job, and one activity that wasn't quite so much fun:-):-):-)
I can't see how anybody could not appreciate you. Think of all of us that appreciate you:-)
You right, I am sure. Everything else is so good my job suffers by comparison. And a lot of it is in my head. It is my perception of not being treated fairly - of having to work more nights and weekends and holidays than anyone else - of having to deal the past couple of nights with an idiot that I don't normally deal with - that is fueling my unhappiness. In the huge scheme of things it is not that bad. I'm overreacting. But I don't want to invalidate my own feelings. It is how I feel, and I am giving myself permission to feel these things, which is painful. Another log on this fire is the cutbacks and financial problems at the hospital which have been publicized mightly for the past few weeks - announcements about no raises, employee give-backs, poor feedback from the community ("you people all make too much money"). This all leads to a giant pile of straws and we all know what happens to the poor camel. The fact that I have created a really great life outside of work - well, it doesn't make it worse, but it highlights the perceived misery. I really love it here, and I want to stay and I need that job - THAT job in particular. Because there aren't many jobs here, especially decent paying, benefit holding jobs. The next closest hospital is almost an hour away, and has laid off workers recently. So I should just suck it up and deal with it. But I'm not good at sucking it up. I have this inherent unshakeable belief that everything can be better. Which can lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
Now, if I could be in some other field, that would be a different story. Thinking a lot about what else I might do.
Many of the issues you have with work are inherent in the health care community. Unfortunately, I do not see an end in sight any time soon. So thinking of what you could do.......... I know swim coach? ;)
My Sister is having nearly identical problems at the post office, friends have similar issues as teachers. I think this is just a hard time for lots of different types of jobs across the board.
As for dealing with idiots, they're everywhere, at all levels, in every job. I once heard one of these corporate motivational speakers give a talk. The one thing that the guy said that I remember was, "You might as well learn to tolerate idiots, because if they fired all the idiots at your workplace tomorrow, the next day they would all hire new ones!"
I've found its true. Still it's refreshing from time to time to change flavors of idiots.
Never underestimate the importance of a good primal meal when one is down. I just consumed a nice piece of fish in Thai-coconut broth and life looks better. One way I have solved the lack-of-bread-to soak-up-sauce is to make sauces thinner and a nature that lends itself to eating with a spoon. Everything kind of ends of like soup. Putting it over greens is another good option, but I don't have any greens on the premises, darn, but the soup thing worked great.
I bought a very cool microwave bowl thingy the other day and it is proving invaluable. It is a silicone bowl with a handle into which fits a ceramic bowl with a lid that fits on tightly for storage and flips over for micro heating. Yes, I know many people don't believe in microwaves. I, however, am not getting rid of mine any time soon. This nifty little bowl is fairly nice looking, not plastic-y horrible tacky. Wondering why I didn't have one years ago! Never saw this before. Brilliant for heating up one serving of just about anything. This could be my imagination, but food seems to heat easily and more evenly than on a plate and splattering isn't a problem.
I think I am going to break down and dye my hair. I have been flirting with the idea of letting it go gray and haven't colored it for three months or so. I am just not ready to have gray hair. Also, I am in desperate need of a trim and I have already detailed ad nausea about my anxiety with getting a hair cut. I would love to get a facial and there is a nice place in town but ditto on the anxiety. I don't want any analysis of my skin and what is wrong with it and what expensive products they sell that are absolutely essential to my well-being.
Trying to figure out what flavor idiot I would like. Do they come in sweet, or just savory?
David, you made me laugh and it is true - better the devil you know than the devil you don't know! And a lot of this stuff is just work - it's not a problem, it's just work. I'm getting my perspective lined up and getting ready to wade in again - hopefully the sh*t will stay below my knees tonight -
Would like to be:
1. Nutrition coach - primal of course
2. Something to do with Masters swimming (lots of competition there - already lots of swim coaches)
3. Working outdoors making trails
4. Taking care of animals (quite a few opportunities but just doesn't pay)
And of course all of these jobs can and will have the same crap I am dealing with now.
They come in both sweet and savory, believe me!
Okay, I'm in the potato thing. Sounds cool. I bought a five-lb bag of organic potatoes. Coincidentally this is potato season and Maine grows some truly great potatoes. I've been thinking for the past couple of days that I need to get off this plateau, and what better way than scarf nothing but potatoes for a few days? Sort of like dietary BASE jumping. I haven't eaten a potato in months. Don't have any real plans for how long, I'll just start out planning for through the weekend.
Okay, I have just had a bit of a primal binge. Two Niman Ranch pork sausages (these are quite large), I love these, with guacamole, followed by some blueberries and raspberries. I have one sausage left, some raspberries and an apple that I will eat before going home tomorrow morning. Then it will be all potatoes all the time. Wish I had some malt vinegar. I have lots of vinegar but I don't think any malt. Does that have gluten? Must check. I have some organic tomato sauce that contains no sugar, I think I can doctor that up into ketchup with a little stevia and fish sauce or something. Should be fun!
Malt vinegar is made from barley, so not really primal. Makes me sad since its the only way I like fish. :(