Lewis, thanks for the information indeed. I have always found lying on the floor on my back to be soothing. I haven't done it in a long time because when I do it I often fall asleep, and these days, if I fall asleep, I basically stop breathing. But twenty minutes on the floor as you describe it makes such sense!!!
As for the effect of low-carb eating on sleep apnea, I I may have had some "sleep apnea" issues most of my life due to having a narrow jaw and narrow nasal passages. I'm sure a ketogenic diet could really nail some of the non-structural issues (such as inflammation), but what I really need is major reconstructive surgery of the inside of my head. Yeah, like that will ever happen.
Can you rent a room in your house to help pay for the mortgage? Can you downsize? If you can sell, sell. If not, can you rent out your house and find a cheaper apartment/house? Can you live with family/a friend to share expenses?
Can you find a new job? One that is not so stressful? You could consider being a live-in caretaker of older persons or children if you are so inclined. Then housing, job, and food are all taken care of (I did this for a little while). l
Good luck! It sounds like you know you have to make changes, but just need a little support doing so. You can do it!
[QUOTE=entwyf;777458] I still have what seems an infinite distance to cover before I can say, "Last night I slept well; this morning I ate well; today I moved well; right now I feel well and focused and energetic."[/QUOTE]
There's been a lot of awesome suggestions on steps to take, so I'm not going to chime in on that. Just wanted to say, that I think that sentence that you feel so far away from saying is exceptional. It's a great way to describe a healthy lifestyle and a large part of what primal is about. Not sure if I've heard it so succinctly and elegantly put before. Kudos. I hope you get there soon.
PrimalJes and DashFire, I thank you for your encouragement.
I've been been physically effed up for a long time--due to my own choices (some bad, some trustingly made according to SAD advice)--and I have never been in any way an athelete (though I love to move; I think best when moving). In addition, at age fifty-eight, I don't know how much I can realistically expect to get out of eating like my ancestors ate.
I look in the mirror, and even on days when I feel great, I look like crap. Maybe I actually look terrific, having been brainwashed about what constitutes being attractive at any age. But I really do wonder how much difference eating can make when I've spent years eating badly and sleeping badly and when I've been through menopause and am now going through the stress of work.
I can certainly improve my understanding of what the body needs to function. And I can continue to make daily changes. It's the old saying: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
As far as work goes, I can move toward some job goals I have once I can find a way out of my current job--without being downsized, fired, or laid off. But in this economy, at my age, and with a resume based on trying to survive financially rather than building a career, there is no way in hell that I can get another job outside of divine intervention.
In my younger years, I did a stint of home health care, but it was a bridge from grad school to a fulltime job. I have a master's degree in English that I have sort of used in the past and still hope to use again.
I have recently had enough energy and focus to be able to start really cleaning my house and making it fit for a possible roomer. If I've gotten enough done by the middle of July, I can get word around at my church; we get a fair number of college students.
Meanwhile, here I am up too late again. Oh, well, I can always nap tomorrow. I love Sunday naps.
Edith, I am almost ready to drive to Rochester just to give you a hug!
Job stress - I am so glad that you are making headway... my hubby went from a relaxed, sweet, wholesome Midwestern guy to a left-lane-on-the-New-Jersey-Turnpike, Type A, micromanaging SOB. It was a terrible toll on his physical and mental health. Step One was change jobs. I will tell you that that step alone has added years to his life, and years to our marriage - today I can understand what a high-stress job can do to a partnership.
This family homeschools, and with your English degree, is there perhaps some tutoring work / seminars you could do? With your background of dyslexia AND dyscalculia, there must be some good advice you can offer to other homeschoolers dealing with these challenges! I know for a fact that more parents are choosing to take the step of taking their challenged children out of public schools. I have no experience with dyslexia, but good grief! - how did you get a master's degree with it - in English?!?! I would actually pay to hear that! The strategies you use to do your job are a marketable asset. In your case, age is an asset - you are not offering purely theoretical advice - this stuff gets your paycheck handed to you. As a general rule the homeschooling community CRAVES information and life experience stories! I, myself, have a special-needs daughter who is in the beginning stages of reading using a pure sight-reading approach, and my ears perk up when I hear of adults living regular lives despite some difficult roadblocks.
Primal food - it really does come down this - pay your hard-earned money to the butcher / farmer / health food store / co-op / CSA... or pay it to the doctor. Primal-ness and all-grass-fed beef aside (which I cannot regularly afford for a hearty-eating family of 6), there is always one small thing you can do to improve the food supply, and it is a must. Feed yourself as well as you know how -YOU ARE WORTH IT. For some of the produce - can you get your hands on a library copy of Urban Farm magazine?? This is hands-down the most perfect magazine I have seen in a long time, and I subscribe to it. As the name states, they specialize in growing food, using handy (read - cheap) everyday items, in even the tiniest urban dwellings. The projects are nothing like out here, where the first thing you need is the Big 'Ole John Deere. I am no farmer, but growing cherry tomatoes and basil was yummy and satisfying to the soul and cheap and is leading to an ever-increasing garden. It might be another weapon in the arsenal...
As for the old thing... I hear you. I am 45, which will make you laugh at me, but my maternal family has a gray-hair gene (seriously) that causes all the females on that side to gray (actually, go snow-white) very early. I had my first grays at 16 and I have been white-haired now since I was 30. My skin tone went with it. When my girls were little they didn't recognize any photos of me with brown hair. After my fourth (and last) child, I fell into the bottomless pit of post-partum depression and it took a while to climb out. Anti-depressants helped me gain 40 pounds. So now I am this white-haired, pale, blue-eyed, pudgy 45-year-old who for years has been fielding public inquiries about how many other "grandchildren" I have when I am out with my girls. And I worry about my employability as well - I have chosen a traditional stay-at-home life, and do not regret it at all, but what will that look like if I want to join the working world when the kids are grown? I can see it now - "I drove my daughter to therapy for years, does that count?"
Tell you what - you don't give up, and neither will I. I plan on looking into the posture post... I always have had bad posture, so this looks interesting. Here is rooting for you!!!
The tutoring suggestion really is a good one!
I am only 3 years into university and I tutor 5-6 hours a week in the evenings/on weekends (I also have another part time job). I charge $20 - $30 an hour, depending on the level I'm tutoring and other variables. It's a very easy way to get cash, which I usually spend entirely on my groceries!
I have 2 students with dyslexia actually. There are a lot of students out there with learning difficulties that would appreciate someone who has been there and done that!
I got into it through a company at first, where they find the clients and everything, but you get paid less that way and have less freedom. Then I got into it privately just by advertising online and through word of mouth.
I tutor everything at high school level - calc, stats, chem, bio physics, english, accounting, economics! I also tutor some of the lower level university stuff in math and business.
I'm sure there are some English major undergrads out there who may love to talk to you!
Anyway, just building on the suggestion, just thought I'd chime in to let you know tutoring is easy to get into and worth your time! :)
What can you change- I'd cut back on the the IRA contribution and look for a new job. Retirement money is pointless if you don't make it to retirement.
Can you refinance your house?
Also, look for a new job. One that is less stressful...or a very easy unstressful part time job. I pet sit and you could probably make an extra $50 a week without much effort, plus you get some walking in.
All is easier said than done, but $30 a week is not enough for groceries for a decent diet unless you are self sufficient farming.... and it costs money to garden.
And- yeah- roommate, tutor, proof resumes. Get more income coming in in a less stressful manner. :)
Hi Edith :)
Wow - everyone's given you so much fantastic advice I'm not sure I have much to add. But I really felt for you reading through this post, so I just wanted to send you a few virtual hugs, and congratulate you on making such great progress so far. Your situation is super tough, but you sound so strong and determined - as though you'll wear life down before you'll let it wear you down. I'm really impressed, and I can only hope I'd be as brave as you if I found myself in a similar situation.
Glad to see in the updated posts that things are on the up - please keep us posted! We're all rooting for you :)
So, lots and lots of primal love! And keep up the good work - you're doing amazingly!
Edith, I know how it is to feel stressed by your job. Sometimes life feels like an endurance race thatnever ends. I would list the changes I want to see and celebrate each change no matter how tiny. I want you to know you are not alone.