^ what she said. P.A.R.T.N.E.R.S.H.I.P in all areas.
And Cajun -- I'm sure you're only a few years older than me.
Well tomi...I'm pushing 59. Most days I feel 79!! lol. I have high hopes that getting back to a more paleo diet will reverse that. I'd love to feel more like 39!! 😅
The only thing is that I don't trust him with our finances. We are not even in the same library when it comes to financial goals. I have been setting aside money for our trip to Memphis and I'm afraid that would get squandered. He always seems to think he can make things up with overtime but it never ends up working out that way and I'm afraid he'd dip into that money and expect to make it up. Experience has taught me that this NEVER works and Memphis is not something I'm willing to take that gamble with.
But it's not just memphis I'm scared of losing. I'm scared that he doesn't take our debt payoff as seriously as I do and that with him running the finances we'll always be in this endless blackhole of debt. I just need to learn how to stand up to him.
Broke out my fly lady stuff and followed my evening routine. I really need to make the FL system stick. I know it works, I've seen it work, I just get lazy.
You might do a modified two bank- account system: one for bills, groceries, and month to month needs, and one for HIS "needs." However much "blow money" y'all get per month, half gets transferred over to his account, plus however much he may need for the month. Any overtime he pulls, 75% goes to his account, with the understanding that needs take precedence over his fun account. Key element? He has no access to pull from the main account. No more racecar loans. I think that seems to be the crux of y'all's money problems, is him seeming to think money comes out of thin air and that racecar. If he wants such an expensive hobby, he can find a way to pay for it out of HIS money, not the shared income or borrowed money.
Or I could just be full of shit and that could be completely the wrong path.
I've only been married 3 years, so I could easily be wrong on the separate but equal partnership for marriage. It seems to work for us. We each pony up a set equal amount per month for the joint bills and joint savings, which vanishes into the bill pay account that neither of us can touch without significant effort. Beyond that, our money is each of our own. My car and student loans are in my name. If I fuck that up, it's on my head, not his. That may be the way to go.
Well I can understand that Jenn. You have a dilemma on your hands. The two account system as I mentioned sounds like an idea for you. That way you still maintain control & he still gets some spending money & can't tap the "household" money. NK's suggestion of splitting up his overtime sounds reasonable & fair. I agree, he has an expensive hobby, but there are priorities that come first. He of course would still have "survivorship" rights to a separate acct in case something happened to you, so it wouldn't be "locked up".
I hope that you can figure out an agreeable solution. Is he willing to sit done & have a grown up conversation about this issue? If ya'll can't communicate what the needs are in the relationship/marriage then you will always be at odds. And that's not good for your kids. If your kids are going without because of his hobby well......does he really want that? Just my unasked for 2 cents.
My husband and I have a two account system as well...
He opened a "secret" one at the beginning of the summer. I found the bank paperwork on our bedroom floor. I haven't confronted him yet.
Some friends at work told him he should have his own in case we break up. I have no idea how much money he is taking from his check to put into it because he deposits his check.
Wow, now that was one hell of a revelation huh?
No mention thus far of what his solution is. Assuming nothing is going to change - methods or handlers. Maybe he and his dad had a talk and he decided to let it be. He was fishing with his dad while we were arguing about it so I'm sure it became a topic of discussion. Or maybe he's plotting my death... who knows.
My home cured bacon is SALTY!! OY! It burns my tongue. Asked on the IPMG page what I can do to correct this next time and they said it's as simple as using less salt. Well then... next time, instead of 1/2 cup of salt, I'll use 1/4 cup and see what happens. Maybe the issue is b/c the recipe was for an 8 lb pork belly and I had 3 lbs of sliced bacon... you know what... come to think of it, I halved all the spices EXCEPT the salt... no wonder it's so damned salty! I used twice the salt! lol *smh* Silly Jenn. The overall flavor is great, once you get past the overwhelming salt. It's so salty I can't even eat it! Bacon: take three!
Went to my Grandma's house for the first time since before her death. My dad and stepmom bought it from Dad's brothers (it was split 3 ways as part of the estate). One brother lives in Minnesota and has no real interest in it, and the other brother was hurting pretty bad for money and moved around from place to place working. So Dad bought it from them. He's doing some minor upkeep things on it now until he can fully remodel it. Plans to use the grounds (10 acres) for a really large garden, some grazing animals and chickens. Recently his brother, the traveling one, called and said he'd lost his job and wondered if he could use the house. Dad told him he could move in for a while, rent free, until he got a job and could move out to his own place. Anyway, Brady and I went down there yesterday to pick some apples. There are 3 red apple trees, 2 green apple trees, 3 peach trees and 1 apricot tree. While we were there, I took a tour of the house. It had been AGES since I'd been upstairs in that house. It is such a neat old house! We went into the attic and found some really neat old furniture, an old baby carriage, and my Aunt Shirley's shoes from when she was a child (she died at the age of 24 from pneumonia. Stepmom says she was physically disabled b/c the dr wasn't ready for her to be born yet, so the nurse tried to push her back in and caused spinal damage - I had never heard this story before). When we were going through the basement looking for canning jars, we came across Grandma's hot water canner. I got so excited and asked if I could have it. Stepmom said yes. So, YAY! Excited me! I have a canner now! I also found some corning ware dishes that she said I could have. I love corning ware! I don't know why - I just do. We looked around further and it looks like I'll be getting Grandma's china and the hutch it's currently stored in. Stepmom thinks it's just Montgomery Ward china and nothing really valuable or "real" but whatever. It's a nice set of dishes and I don't have one of them yet. I just have to figure out where I'm going to put the hutch b/c it's really big. And I'll have to lock it to keep the kids out - Makenna's still in that exploring stage where she gets into everything and I don't want her breaking the dishes. The hutch doesn't really match the decor of my house so I may have to refinish it (it's stained a dark walnut or something). I'll have to look and see what I can do with it, if anything. Maybe I'll have to keep it in the garage or basement instead of my dining room - which isn't really big enough anyway. We'll figure it out.
Anyhow, all that rambling to tell you I'm excited for my new canner! I have a ton of tomatoes and apples to do next weekend. Pretty stinking excited, I am. :) I want to take time off work so I can get it all done.
Forgot to mention that today is day 9 of my Whole30 and I'm down the 8 lbs of bloat I put on when I went "offroading" (that's what they call going off track on the Whole30 facebook group I'm a member of). I'm back to my primal low of 171. Can't wait to break that number and see the 160's!! :) YEEEEEE! GIDDY!
Maybe the salt will be good in a stew or soup? You don't have to add any salt to the recipe :D
Nice work with your Whole30!