I plan to check with the Red Cross, but haven't gotten it done yet.
Ok, Family Resources got back to me and will take all the clothes for the battered women's shelter. I did a volunteer project with the Family Resources in my second ever master's class and then told us about the battered women's shelter and how when women leave with children, often they don't have time or resources to grab clothes and toys and whatnot for the kids. That breaks my heart and has really stuck with me. They called me back today and were very appreciative of my (enormous) donation and said they would accept it. I will also be gathering up some of the kids' old toys and whatnot and donate those as well. Kids need toys when they're yanked out of their homes and find themselves in a new place like a shelter.
This weekend I will be emptying all the tubs of clothes into garbage bags so they're easier to transport - 15 rubbermaid like tubs won't fit in the back of the truck for that kind of distance, much less in my car! I may find I'm making more than one trip to the center! Last spring, SIL and I held a garage sale at her house. I sold one box of clothes, pricing each item at 25cents each and made $100. If I have as many boxes of stuff as I think, then that's a HUGE tax deduction. I will look at the receipt she gives me and see what kind of figures they suggest for kids' clothes, but I'm planning for valuing them at 25c each since that's what I'd ask for at a garage sale. Clothes move quickly when you do them for a quarter each.
Our refi closing is Saturday at 10 am. Our house is a disaster! I sent Brad a text and told him I'm focusing on laundry tonight (gotta get that table cleared off so we have a place to sign!) and can focus on the other two main rooms tomorrow night (and we can get the kids to work on picking up tonight)... SHIT! I just remembered! Brady has ball practice tonight! Dang it... ok, I guess *I* will be working on the house tonight... *sigh* that's ok. I get more done when Brad's not yelling at the kids for not picking up the way he wants them to. Sometimes I think he fails to remember that there's more than one way to skin a cat... Ok, as I wrote this, Brady's coach sent a message indicating practice is cancelled since it's only like 40 some degrees outside. Kinda chilly... Brady's going to be soooo disappointed. But they're having an extra practice on Monday so that should make him happy. Just means that the Battle of the Bullheaded Boys will take place tonight when it's time to straighten the house.
Our new house payment won't be under $1,000 like originally estimated. It's just a tick over $1,000, so now it's only $100 less than the pre-refi payment... hardly seems worth it, but whatev. I guess it'll pay some of my student loan payments... Looks like I get to play with the spreadsheet again...
Skipped the gym today. I just wasn't feeling it. Kind of feeling bummed and overwhelmed in my head. Brad brought up sex again and how I don't ever seem to want it. I tried my best to explain to him that I had to adjust the vitex b/c it was killing my periods and by lowering the dosage it killed my libido. Just reiterates that there's still things on the to-do list to focus on... *sigh* I'll do squats and bench press tomorrow instead of just squats.
Time to make a list of all the things I need to do tonight so I can stay on task. Adios!
Busy lady! Good luck! On the re-fi stuff, $100 less is $1200 per year. That's money to kill off debt or put in extra on mortgages, savings etc.
Little snafu... Wells Fargo didn't cancel our autopayment like they were supposed to so now the mortgage writer dude is scrambling to get our payment reversed and refunded... good thing I put that money in furlough! I was able to transfer it back into checking to cover us until they refund it.
I succeeded in totally pissing Brad off, but I think in the long run he finally understands my perspective on things. I used some of my leadership training to get through to him. He started out by bugging me about sex again and what it's going to take to make me want it more... i discussed how I removed birth control and anti-depressants from the picture and started taking supplements meant to boost hormones, but haven't found the right combo yet. I told him that at this point, the only other thing I can think of is reducing my stress level and that means significant changes at home b/c that is my biggest stressor.
At one point we discussed how his racing and all activities included in that one night on the track, to include ALL the 'work' he puts in on the car during the week is a non-essential activity to the way our house is run. In other words, he is the only one who truly benefits from racing. He tried to argue that the "work" he puts in during the week is not fun, so I said "if it's not fun, and is instead work, they why are you racing?" If one part is so unfun that you'll consider it work and not enjoyable, why even bother with the whole activity?? Before you guys point out to me that all hobbies have unfun activities, let me point out to you that he spends HOURS each night working on the race car to spend a whopping 30 minutes racing each Saturday night... hardly seems like much of a pay out to me...
I explained my "position" and "interest" (both are leadership terms for what I think and why) I likened the "household benefit" of his racing to my running (because he mentioned that it's work b/c it's physically demanding, etc, it's not a hobby) and said that running is fun for me and physically demanding, but because it ONLY benefits me and not anyone else in the house, it's a hobby, not work. So then, I think he caved b/c he said "whatever, call it what you want", which is his standard response to "I have no argument against your valid point"... lol
So we have both agreed that we will do two household chores before "hobbies". He will unload the dishwasher and start a load of laundry in the washer. Then go work on his racecar. I will reload the dishwasher and move the wet clothes to the dryer before "standing around and doing nothing" as he put it. Oh, and then he told me I can't bitch if he comes home later... I replied with "I'm only asking for 15 minutes... not an hour".
Now we're discussing why he thinks he needs $1,000 to go racing in September (5 day show that will require a hotel, etc), and why he can't get by with $500. When we originally agreed to saving $1,000 I was going to join him, but now I can't find anyone to keep the kids that weekend, so I'm not going... so I don't think he needs $1,000 anymore. I think he can get by on $500, but would be willing to let him have $750 (since I was only going out for 2 of the 5 days, but even then, I think $1,000 was overkill).
So, strategic communication, emphasizing both position and interest, summarization of the other person's claims, and waiting to formulate my response until after summarization, is playing well right now. :)
it's kind of funny... and I think he'd be irate if he knew I was using my education "on him" as he would put it. He'd feel I used an underhanded trick instead of sticking to a level playing field, but arguments from our past show that the level playing field is not effective as nothing has ever changed before. But he knows I use it on the kids and has seen it work, so if he doesn't realize I'm using on him too, eh, oh well.
We'll see how long the changes stick. But of course, I will have to show that helping me with the two little tasks (as well as how he talks to the kids, how he gets them to do things, and how well things get done without added stress**) has improved my libido, so hopefully it all works.
**before we started discussing whether or not racing was a hobby or work, we discussed getting down and helping the kids pick up their toys, giving them specific instructions such as "put your blocks in the box" or "put your wrestling guys in your room on the shelf" instead of simply using "pick up your toys" as the direction. Pick up your toys means different things to them than it does to us... to us it means, put them away, but to them it means pick them up... but then what? And with the sheer number of toys they usually have out/leave out, picking them ALL up is impossible and overwhelming. If we phrase it differently, we can get our message across. But also, the tone we take (he's real good at yelling at them, which only scares them and does not encourage them to act) and getting down with them and showing them how its done, will help get things done more quickly.
Like I said, we'll see how long the changes stick... I'm sure I'll have to give reminders... I'm guessing in a week I'll have to remind him to do his two little chores. Hopefully I'm wrong, but I'm not counting on it.
And now that I've just spoken with the loan dude about our refund, I'm even more happy that I placed it into savings instead of putting it toward the credit card... it's going to take 2-3 weeks to get my refund. Unacceptable. What if I had already spent that money and was not going ot face a shit ton of overdraft charges??? What if we hadn't had the money in savings to make up the difference? We'd be SCREWED if we had to wait 2-3 weeks. I told Geoff that while I'm not shooting the messenger, I find this to be unacceptable and asked what could be done to speed it along. I am calling the auto pay department now to get it reversed. This should be fun. <sarcasm>
Oh joy... I have to talk to a supervisor... yippee!!! <moresarcasm>
Ok, got the refund coming in 3 days not instead of 2-3 weeks, and assurance that any overdraft fees that might occur will be refunded by Wells Fargo. They are going to go in and listen to my call from last week where I asked to have the payments stopped and where I was told I would not have a payment pulled on the 1st, which is what will be used as justification to refund any overdraft fees (there won't be any, but still wanted to know they'd pay for their screw up), and that my payment will be refunded back to my checking account in 3 business days. I love getting stuff done! I'm 3 for 3 this week! HA!
Wow, Jenn........... did you miss you're calling as an Attorney? You're quite the negotiator!
I was told by a professor who taught Critical Thinking when I was getting my bachelors that I'd make a great lawyer b/c I have awesome arguing skills. Most times, I think I argue people into submission just so I'll stop arguing with them. ;)
Called a nearby US Cellular repair shop to see how long it will take for my phone to be repaired. US Cellular does not allow their techs to replace the screen in the phones, so they get shipped off to (Chicago likely) to a location where the techs have gone through special Samsung training. As a result, it will take a minimum of two weeks in most cases to get the phone back... At first I was like TWO WEEKS? How can I survive without this killer kick ass phone for 2 weeks... then I realized I go 30 days without sugar, I can surely go 2 weeks without a phone... I plan to drop it off next week and get my old phone reactivated. I'll have to kill a lot of apps on it so I can continue to play Candy Crush ;) as the internal memory on the phone is only 1 gb where the Samsung has 16 gb.
Anyhow, that's the plan... Since racing appears to be cancelled tomorrow, maybe I can take it in tomorrow instead.