First, and not to be crass, but you've got to get life insurance on your spouse, if you haven't already.
And, as young as you are, you can get a great policy for not much money.
Second, sit him down and explain how desperately you want him to be around to watch your precious children grow..
and how devastating it would be for them to lose their dad at a young age, at any age it's hard, at a young age it's something you rarely get over.
Would he go to your family doctor and have blood work done? Beg, plead, anything to get him to go. Some doctors have programs where you check back in, get counseling, even phone calls from personal counselors to keep you on track.
Primal would be the best way for him to go. Big breakfast, salad with big meat at lunch and supper with baked potato or sweet potato or rice and lots of greens and grilled chops or steaks.. if he had that carb to look forward to, and every few nites, give him a bowl of premium ice cream, he could really lose, especially if you started exercising with him, walking when it gets warmer or go to gym now and treadmill.
Look forward to a cruise or a Disney Trip when he has lost a substantial amt.. It could work and many good wives have gotten their sweethearts down to a good weight, not only for their happiness in life, but an extension of life!
We have life insurance. 250k on each of us through a private life insurance company, but also have whatever they give at work. We did this primarily for the kids, not each other. We wanted to be able to eliminate all of our debts for them should anything happen to the two of us. This amount would pay off our house, all our debts and leave a considerable amount for a trust fund for the kids. We also have final testiments and living wills. I had to create all this for myself in 2007 when I was facing deployment, and went ahead and got it done for Brad as well. So financially, our mortality has been faced...
They used to do yearly blood tests at work, but they stopped doing them to save money... should get him in to see Dr. Ashley for a lipids screen. He was flagged at work once b/c a test came back indicating he has a fatty liver...
We've had the conversation where I express my fears of waking up one morning without him and having to explain to the kids what happened, helping them deal with it while also having to deal with it myself... we had this conversation b/c a family friend lost her husband overnight. He was "in perfect health" and just fell asleep one night, and never woke up. When his wife found him, he was already cold. She had 3 young daughters and a son to explain it to. I've told him that I don't want this for our family. Her oldest daughter was 9 at the time. Youngest was maybe 4 or 5, where my oldest is 6. How do you explain to a 6 year old, or even a 3 year old, why their daddy isn't home anymore? I don't want to find out.
Primal would be the best way for him to go, and as long as I'm preparing his meals, he eats primally... except the weight is not coming off. I know that he indulges in things at his mom's house a lot (he and his dad are pretty close so he's at his mom's every night to work on their race car). I make eggs and bacon for him for breakfast. This week he's having ham and cheese egg "muffins" with bacon (scrambled eggs poured into a muffin cup with ham and cheese added). Lunch is usually leftovers from the night before (meat and potatoes for him). We usually do pork chops and steak at least once a week. Maybe potatoes need to go the way of the ice cream - a once or twice a week treat... (In his defense, ice cream lasts a lot longer than it used to - one box will last 2 weeks now instead of a couple of days - and it's not bought very often anymore). He needs to start eating more veggies too... I've noticed recently that he's been bypassing them all together.
I know he's at least more conscious of how he's eating since I've gone Primal and I've tried to limit how much I make for us to force him to cut back on his portion sizes (one steak for his dinner and lunch as opposed to one for each), but if he's still hungry (or perceives he's still hungry) he will grab something else to eat.
I know for the sake of his feelings, I need to approach this from a health standpoint as opposed to a weight thing. The weight only really bothers me from a health standpoint - but it would be nice to have a slimmer husband for vanity's sake.
Maybe I will ask him tonight how his New Year's goals are going...
Has he ever made a big change before? If so, how did he do it?
Any vacation for him coming up? Could you promise him something he really wants for one week of TOTAL compliance? At home under your eye, so he's not getting extras at work or from his parents? At his weight and condition, one week of hard core low carb primal would probably give him dramatic results in how he feels, and pretty good ones in the weight category.
You could talk to his mom and ask her if she has any idea what he weighs. CRY if you have to to get the point across and to let her know how upsetting this is to you. Remind her of your family friend losing her husband and how you want to fight to save yours. She should have enough sense to see his size is too large, and being his mom certainly she can keep primal treats around for him since he eats primal at home and work.
Even with everyone helping, he's got to make up his mind that this will be the year to get back in his 38's. Pillow talk always makes a big impression on guys. Talk about future trips, how awesome you'll both look and especially FEEL. I'll bet his sleeping problems would vanish and he'll be so proud of himself it sure would help with depression. I'm sending positive thoughts (and prayers) for sweet Brad, and for you, Jenn, because you seem to me to be so full of love for your fam.
For the last few weeks I have been very moody... my patience are very short, I get annoyed VERY easily, I'm grumpy in the morning, stay grumpy for a long time, and get very overwhelmed by my children and their incessant demands/requests. Everything they say sounds whiney to me, which annoys me more. My daughter asked me if I was angry the other day (I wasn't but had mentioned that if one of the kids didn't do what I asked, I was going to get angry) and my son responded with "She's always angry".
For a while I thought maybe it was the EMF protocol that was making me that way since carb consumption produces a serotonin response (hence the reason we crazies tend to binge on carbs and sugar) so I did a bit of research and learned that my mood swings are likely due to low serotonin levels (shocker since I was on antidepressants for years, but with no consistent long term success, so I stopped using them after going Primal with dr's approval), so I started using 5-htp, a precursor to serotonin productoin. I can't say that it's not working b/c I'm still adjusting the levels to see what works (currently taking 150 mg daily) but as of lately, it's not been as big a help as I had hoped... but I'm not giving up on it yet either.
Yesterday, it was rather nice out (by winter standards). The sun was out, it was 37 degrees, the snow was melting, and the robins were bouncing around in the grass. I took a 30 minute or so walk. During that walk I felt amazing. I was overjoyed by the feeling of the pending season change was bringing to me. Spring is by far my favorite season.
Anyhow, the more I thought about it the more I realized my mood issues are likely being caused by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder - the other SAD). Which is something my psychiatrist warned me about. I don't want to go on meds (even temporarily), but the thought has crossed my mind.
Anyway, it's kind of nice to maybe have a reason behind the bitchiness... I'm going to keep monitoring this and see what happens.
Oh and I didn't talk to Brad last night. Dinner was done late then came bathtime and then shortly after I put Makenna to bed, he went to bed. Will try again another day. Class tonight and he'll be asleep long before I get home.
Do you take D3 at all? I know I have light SAD and it really helps me this time of year. Esecially being in the midwest, you know how at times we get little to no sun in winter.
Yes, I take D3. All winter long I took 15,000 IU. I have recently cut back to 10,000 IU since the sun is out more and I'm able to walk outside without freezing to death. I have never been tested, so I don't know if I'm deficient or not... Should probably do that, considering the dose I take. Idk... think less would be more effective?
For the first time, I am thinner than my spouse. I do get frustrated hoping he'll do something. I had the don't want you to die conversation with him a few weeks ago. Now he gets cranky if I bring anything up.
Can you get yourself a SAD lamp for light therapy?
Can you get yourself a SAD lamp for light therapy?[/QUOTE]
I've looked at them... My office is really bright (6 of those 4 lamp fluorescent light fixtures) and a bank of windows (4 - but on the North wall), so I get some indirect sunlight. I wish it was direct. I am hoping that yesterday's walk is an indication that the poor moods are soon to fade away.
But, then again, I don't feel like I get quality sleep either - snoring husband, overly dependent kids. Just last night, my kids woke me up at least 4 times (I think it might have been 5 times) and my husband was snoring. I asked him 4 times to roll over. I think having the GWF will help me in determining for sure how much/little sleep I actually get.
I'd like to alternate nights of "mommy" and "daddy" duties with Brad, but I wake up to them regardless, so even when it's Brad's turn to deal with the kids, I'm awake the whole time he is so I might as well let him sleep and take care of it myself. If it's an especially bad night and I'm losing my patience, I send him to deal with them to give me a break.
I might look at those laps again just for the heck of it. Remind myself what they cost and see if I can get one on eBay or something for less money. Thanks for reminding me. :)