142.2 today but that's okay, not surprising. I've had more wine than necessary on both Friday and Saturday evenings! :)
I have not exercised in almost a whole week, though, and not sure when to start up again. There's congestion in my chest still and I'm coughing all the time. Hate being sick, have no patience for it. But I really want to run again and I'm very interested in starting up a strength training program, not sure exactly what. I want to "lift heavy" as everyone keeps telling me is better than cardio.
@Diogenes - THANK YOU!!! :) I sure hope you are right! ;)
@zee - thank you!
So I have officially lost 10 pounds since late October! That's a coup! Now I need to do it again about 2 or 3 more times, whew!
And also, I need to figure out a way to survive the holidays. I'm okay until about the weekend before Christmas Eve, but then things will quickly deteriorate with access to cookies, treats I NEVER have during the year, etc. Still, I think I'm doing better in general this year than last year. Last year I was baking a lot of cookies and eating half of them and I know it affected my health negatively. This year, I've decided I"m ONLY going to bake cookies at my mom's house and once. And try really hard to have very few of them.
I think I've done exactly that... baked cookies (at my mom's house), then brought them home and proceeded to eat way too many. Our kids will be here in a week and we'll be out of goodies - which I'm sure they'll rectify soon enough. I just need to keep my hands out of the cookie jar!!
So made this awesome breakfast today.
2 slices of bacon
In the bacon fat I sauteed onion and jalapenos. I added 2 beaten eggs. Added about 1/4 cup of shredded cheese. I am not good with omelets, but i sort of made a lopsided omelet. It was SO delicious.
@zee - YES, I think the key is to leave the cookies there, not take any home! After all, my sister and family and my nieces will be here next week. THEY can pig out on the cookies, lol!
Meh, a series of poor choices from about Thursday evening onward has made me put on 2.2 pounds for the weekend. I HATE weekends sometimes> I just don't have the momentum that I do during the week! Also I get sort of down at being by myself and want to treat myself, so last night I had a frozen pizza (D:) for dinner and lots of wine. So of course my weight is up this morning. Duh. So depressing. If I'd eaten clean, I'd feel so proud of myself this morning. And today I am going to a Mexican restaurant to meet my mom, and hopefully I'll have the willpower to order something good there, like shrimp fajitas and have them not give me tortillas.
So yea, here I sit at 143.2, now so far away from my goal of breaking 140. I just hope and pray that this is water weight that will whoosh away in a few days.
Well, I'm up to 144 again, I don't know why my body GAINS so easily and loses so hard. But I don't feel good because 141 felt so good and so close to 139. I was SO sure I was going to make that by CHristmas. Apparently the pre-holiday loosening up a bit has been harmful. Last weekend did a number on me.
What I really need is to start working out again and FAST. I've been suffering from a cold that turned into a monster cough-chest-congestion-thingie and it really kept me from my usual fitness level. So today after I leave work, I'm going to work out. The best I can. I will do this. I will not eat too much today, I will try to stay on plan.
So this is my goodbye for the holidays. I'm taking a media break for a few days, through Christmas, to spend time with myself and family. Hope to reset after Christmas and try again! Hope everyone has a great holidays!
Gee whiz, lol, this was a longer break than needed. And I am doing the walk of shame. I am going to do this for real. I feel newly dedicated, distraction of the holidays is over and so I have a good long time to make this lifestyle ingrained in me before the next year.
I'm going through a very stressful time right now -- taking 2 graduate level classes on top of working full time. Thinking about my diet and working out time is becoming very challenging to find, especially because the weather has been icy outside (so the gym is the only option since I don't have time to fall and break my leg outside or something), and getting to and from the gym, changing clothes there, etc. is time consuming and impossible to fit in Monday through Wednesday right now. I'm TRYING to figure out how to get around this at the moment. Also I'm scared to drive in bad conditions, so if there's a single flake of snow, I won't drive to the gym. So yeah, my workouts may be a little anemic until the winter weather has gone away.
Anyway, it is a quiet Sunday, we have a potential ice event coming (yay, not) and I have plenty of time to try to sort things out. Just went to the grocery store to get some yummy food for the week.
Geesh, I have NO idea what is wrong with me and why I haven't logged in here since January or done anything worth speaking of when it comes to weight loss, but you know what? I do believe I'm determined right now. For real. For keeps. I've just had my fill of jumping around, trying things over and over again that do not work. I'm going to do this. I know it makes me feel good, but there's this inner toddler that rebels against any kind of restriction and that's what has to go. Also, I need to focus on, "Don't let perfect become the enemy of good enough." I tend to fall apart whenever there are social events where food is involved. If I give myself permission to eat whatever at those things and make my own choices, then a lot of times, I really actually DO choose to stay on plan, happily. It really is about choice and being mature about how do I want my body to look and feel.
Basically I feel gross right now. I haven't done anything worthy of writing home about since I started this thing, which technically was over a year ago. Maybe this will make this especially poignant now that I will have success? I can read back and say, ah, you just weren't ready yet then, now you are. Or something. Otherwise I would just start a new journal to be fresh. We'll see.
Anyway, I'm WAY too close to 150 pounds, which is crazy for me. Doesn't even feel like this is my body, it's so unlike how I perceive myself. I'm svelte and tiny, not thick and chunky, eep. How did that happen? Well, I know how it happened. Duh. Anyway, I can do this. I've had a rough year, I can't even tell you, a very rough year. Went through a divorce last summer, had to take grad level classes on top of working full time this year, had some other personal issues, lost a friend to a premature death a month or so ago, etc. It's just been a rough year.
Anyway, I know when I eat like this -- meat, eggs, vegetables, fruits, nuts (tiny amounts), then I feel better and my body feels better. It's that simple. I know my weight is not meant to be as high as it is. Especially because I just completed a half marathon last weekend. I mean, really? Then again, I saw some overweight people completing a full marathon, so running =/= weight loss, that's for sure.
Okay, I admit that while part of this is about health. I want to regulate my hormones, especially as I'm in the 40s territory. I want to be less anxious overall and have fewer stomach problems that keep me up at night. But so much of it is vanity. I want to be 110 to 120 pounds again and feel light and svelte and feel good about myself and not run away from the camera.
Good morning! Is anyone who read this before still around at all? I'd love to hear how you're all doing.