Alright, still doing pretty well. I think the AA's are doing some major work here, and the DSF, too.
I was pondering today why so many timelessly famous composers were depressed, and the fact that I noticed a few months ago that singing (and listening to fabulous music of all types) is a major lift for me, and the fact that I read something about a connection between opera singing and poor health (but it seemed like a negative connection?) ... I wonder if music really does boost endorphins significantly enough to help, as I posited a few months ago? Do I sing b/c I desperately need the lift, just like I binge b/c (unbeknownst to me) my brain desperately needs the hit? Do they do the same thing? Can I assume that music does it in a safer, healthier way?
Popped another music video on youtube tonight. Take 4 minutes to watch it and leave me a comment to let me know what you think! I had fun doing it. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fMWbPO2fUw&feature=em-upload_owner]Someone Like You Cover Adele - YouTube[/url] Especially when my 11yo stomped in b/c he was made about his math. :)
I had a bit of a binge-y period yesterday with GF cake (just a 1/3 of a slice), & some totally paleo trail mix. I really didn't have too much, but felt like I could have just kept eating and eating if I wasn't already full from dinner. I'm out of DLPA, but taking DPA still, not sure what's triggering that.
Had sushi last night and then detox overnight (waking up sweating 2hrs too early and unable to get back to sleep). Must have been soy sauce (wheat) in the sauce, although the waitress claimed none. I hate getting poisoned.
Energy & mood are staying fairly strong, although one week ago, I had a total breakdown - massive migraine (never had one in my life) + emotional chaos. Dunno why, other than stress from an abusive HOA. I ate maple-pecan clusters (soaked, organic, etc.) that day (a whole tiny bag), but it was only less than 20g carbs ... can't see how that could have caused the headache, but when I ate the same later in the week again, I did get a small headache ... Odd.
I think hypermobility is an accurate Dx for me; I never realized that not everyone can touch thumbs to forearms or bend pinky beyond 90 degrees or put palms on the floor if they stretch enough. Might explain my hobby of cracking every joint I have and harmlessly dislocating and relocating my shoulders and hips on command.
I would like to work really hard this week on bloating. It was going down, but got much worse last night. I am down to 5oz protein every morning and trying hard not to have too much to eat for lunch & dinner, especially meat & fruit, whcih I can easily eat to oblivion. I seem to be doing okay with whole fruit most of the time (for once), although cherries seem to give me a bit of stomach discomfort sometimes, maybe when I've just had too much of a meal?
I'm still at 145.5-148 and can't lose anything, despite daily DIM and Calc d-gluc and saw palmetto. I don't have any idea what to do to get rid of this weight. It's not coming off like it easily did before the DHEA 20lb-in-two-months weight gain fiasco.
So anyway, I want to keep track of my meals and how I feel this week and see if I can pin down anything with the bloating.
Oh, and what the frak, I broke out in hives two weeks ago! Never in my life have I had hives! Still can't figure out why; I ate nothing unusual that day and did nothing unusual!
You probably have already considered this, but estrogen crashes can cause nasty migraines, night sweats and weight gain/ no loss issues. Just a thought. Peri-menopause symptoms usually start in your later 30s, early 40s. Wonky hormones are very frustrating as they fluctuate.
Bkfst: beef tongue, beef broth, pork sausage
Lunch: bit of ground beef, pork sausage, bratwurst. Don't have much of an appetite. ~2oz mixed cherry-cranberry juice.
Dinner: andouille + bell peppers + salad. 2oz cran-cherry
Yes, estrogen is definitely behind the weight gain. My DHEA supp seems to have converted to estrogen and given me 24/7 PMS, including bloating, weight gain, mood swings, headaches, fatigue, the works. Got off the DHEA and onto some estrogen-sponges and lost some, but still battling the rest.
I do not believe that it is natural to have a decade of misery preceding menopause, so if I am having peri-menopausal "symptoms," something is still wrong. I've asked my doc to help me decide whether BHRT might be a part of my healing regimen, and we'll be looking at that at my next visit.
The night sweats, for me, are always due to being poisoned by something, usually bad oils. They're rare and always always come the night after eating something I shouldn't have.
I had tons of gas last night, like the kind I haven't had in many, many years. Was it the dried fruit and nuts I ate? Didn't feel like *that* much of it, and it's never had that effect on me before...?
147 yesterday, 146 today. Up and down and up and down. No rhyme or reason.j
POISON IVY!!! Itchitchitchitchitchitch
I nearly had a nervous breakdown confronting my abusive HOA last week. Not good. I have never yelled at a stranger in my life, but when someone stood in my very nicely maintained yard, told me it was "rough," and then accused me of lying about putting down 100 bags of mulch last spring ... I lost it.
My sympathies....I swore off HOA neighborhoods 20 years ago. Way too stressful!
Insomnia strikes again. Is it the DSF Herbal or maybe the GABA? I cannot afford to be up for 2hrs in the middle of the night when I cannot function without 9-9.5hrs sleep. Getting up at 10:30am cannot keep happening!
Hi hi, MamaGrok.
I've just taken a few days to read your journal. I have to tell you that you are my very definition of a success, or more specifically have all the qualities of someone who succeeds. A lot of people believe that getting from point A to point B in a straight line as quickly as possible is the only definition. But to me, the person who keeps getting back to the task, no matter how many setbacks is also successful - and has learned a lot of valuable lessons in the process. Tenacity rules.
While I don't have many issues, energy being my primary problem, I've been reading at Dr. K's website, and a lot of what he says about circadian rhythms really resonates with me.
Hope you're feeling healthy and light and energetic soon! And thank you for the inspirational and informative read. :)
Thanks, Joanie. The only thing I know is that, with the grace of God, I will never, ever, ever give up.
I've been bingeing hard for the last month, probably gained at least 10lb more, but I refuse to weigh.. I have only a handful of clothes I can still wear and am very physically uncomfortable.
I ran out of amino acids while hitting the national pparks in WY, SD, & MT, despite my best efforts to best sure I had enough, and I couldn't find them anywhere. After a week off them, I was about to gnaw my arm off for want of sugar. I am grateful that I never succumbed to wheat, but I can still feel my teeth getting sore again, which means that something (grains? dairy? sugar?) has re-started the malabsorption. Once again, vit A/D/K2 aren't getting to my teeth. My diet is still almost 100% primal.
After three weeks back on the AA's, I can tell a slight difference, but not much. Very discouraging that suddenly they don't work anymore.
Sooooooo I joined OA. And got a sponsor and all that. Not that the 12 steps are any different from what I've been doing for the last 5 years, but I can already see that the mere act of getting out and going to that meeting at least twice a week is helping me reconcile the incoherence of despising bingeing, yet doing it daily anyway. So off I go.
I've come to the realization that ... God forbid ...I may be so damaged that I may never again have a prolonged period where cravings are naturally gone because I am at a full nutrient status. And if that's the case, I need to make sure I have a plan in place. I need to keep fighting with all I"ve got to re-establish the neurotransmitters I need, but also make sure there is a backup plan.