Sorry to hear that your health has taken a bit of a turn for the worse but on the bright side now you know and are taking steps to make things right. Keep it up I feel for you but remember one foot in front of the other and sooner or later you are up the hill. Sounds like you are keeping up on all the information that goes along with this condition - remember to take a bit of time for you and step away from everything once in a while - I think the walking will be good for that. I find a nice long hike is just want I need to clear my mind when the world and my issues become too much to handle all at once! Hope all is well on your side of the world - hang in there the path is sometimes rocky!
Thanks PP, I know I will get there.
Each new realisation about fat I really am is like a punch in the face.
I know I am morbidly obese and I am taking steps to change that. But damn its hard. We have spent all weekend cleaning our house, and just have been scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees and cleaning walls. Its almost impossible to bend properly in my middle, everything squashes in the middle, and I feel sick. And being on my hands and knees is painful. This is not normal. I am 31 years old, not 81. I hate living like this. I think I probably do need to take the Metformin to bring my insulin down, along with staying 100% primal. It could be years before I am "normal". I hate that I have done this to myself. Yes maybe it wasn't my fault in the beginning as I didn't know anything about eating well, and having so many issues that contributed to my binge eating. I have stopped bingeing thanks to LCHF primal, and that I am so grateful for. But the damage has been done, and I just have to be patient and live through each day knowing that I am working towards becoming a healthier person. Just things like this really frustrate me. In general I am feeling quite energetic and can sleep well again. But how much better can I really feel? I guess its just I feel way better than I used to overall, but I know its going to be different with 50 kg less hanging off me. I felt good doing CF at only 20 kg lighter, but how much better would I have gone being much smaller? I clearly don't move enough still. Maybe I should be doing a morning walk as well? Its not like it will hurt, and the fresh air will do me good. I don't intend on spending every day in the gym or anything like that, but I think lifting 1-2 days a week will be enough for now. Will only be doing barbell work though.
Carrying all this extra weight is not good, our bodies are not designed to be this huge. I do have a lot less aches and pains than I used to, but again, how much better can it be?
[QUOTE=Ayla2010;1098166]Could today get any worse?
Right now I really detest my husband and don't want to be in the same room as him. [/QUOTE]
Ayla - IMO, and this really is my opinion.......... sometimes we say things to our loved ones that cause offence. We can't untake them, we may not have mean't them quite the way they were said or taken, but the more we say the deeper the hole !
I believe that we sometimes just have to let some of these comments go -
Don't let a small silly exchange of words derail your beautiful marriage.....go and give him a kiss.
I know people say things they regret when having arguments, but we were just talking. I just said how good bone broth was for you. And he wouldn't even say why he said it.
Once our children go to bed, I will talk to him about it.
It just doesn't make sense, it just seems now like it was something he was thinking about and needed to bring it up.
Thanks for your thoughts G xx
hope that you sleep well tonight Ayla
tomorrow is another day
I did sleep well.
Big changes at school, instead of dropping our children at their class, we have to line them up in a communal area. We can still wait till they go to class, but I guess soon enough they might want us to start leaving asap, I dunno.
Its only been 2 weeks :( I like walking my son to the class.
Still need to sort out this soap situation. He keeps saying the soap in the boys toilets are always empty. The teacher told me there would be soap always, and my son might be just confused. But I got the older brother of one of his class mates to go in and check and there was none. I couldn't see a cleaner or anything. I will let the office know this afternoon. They need to be able to wash their hands. Especially with all the germs running around the place at school as it is.
No resolution from yesterdays upset. My husband says he feels bad and wishes he could take it back, but unfortunately he can't so I don't know. My oldest saw me cry yesterday over it, and it sucks, I wish he hadn't but he did give me the biggest hug.
Sorry to hear about the hubby and the crying. Maybe because you have been off and on primal he thinks it is just a wave of enthusiasm and he doesn't like hearing about diet when you are interested in it. Having seen you go off it before. Its funny, there's nothing worse than a loved one going through a passion or enthusiasm for something you have no interest in - friends have gone through anti-microwave, anti-chicken, anti- meat, various exercise phases and I resented the lectures. Maybe the dig at your weight was an underscore that he resents being lectured to (I bet you don't mean to, maybe you don't, just know how I feel when people I know try convert me to something I am not interested in)...because he feels if he isnt overweight and you are, that any lectures or even univited discussions are hard to bear. I may be completely wrong, but maybe back off any discussion about it and let the results speak for themselves.
Thanks Katemary. I am sure we will figure it out, I am less mad about it now. But it still hurt.
I don't lecture him though, thats the thing. My only comment was that bone broth was good for you. I didn't even say he should have any. I guess with going primal at home, he didn't have much choice since i shop and cook and wanted our children to eat this way too, but I told him he could eat what he wanted away from home, but he chooses primal all on his own. So really don't know.
Something must be finally working well, as I lost 2.5 kg this week. I have never lost that much in a week before. I have had 3 mornings of food instead of BP coffee, that could be enough who knows. Those 3 mornings I have had a coffee with HWC, but have not finished it, I am just not enjoying it, so could be the less dairy, who knows, but I shall see what happens next week.