this lady.. is on some amazing happy pills
i almost wish i had them, but bay said last week if i were a perky girly girl he wouldn't know what to do
probably run screaming
okay he wouldn't run and scream, he's too nice for that
i watch her sometimes, and feel as tho i am transported to a magical land of unicorns and lollipops. she's so southern and happy and chipper.
today is apparently a bad back day. all last week i stayed topped up on advil for fevers and was in bed some, so when i go for any appreciable amount of time without major discomfort, i can forget how much i don't like it
i don't like it
gramma sent me food from lunch. i ate it. so supper was pizza and lemon pie and coke. i don't feel gross or sick, so go me. the dogs got lots of crust and ran around like spazzes and now are sleeping. maybe that's normal, maybe it's from all the carbs, maybe they just like pizza.
and who doesn't like pizza?
i am exhausted. i had planned to do planks and push ups and kettlebell swings.
but i am exhausted. cleaning polish off my nails, repainting them clear, scrubbing my hands with sugar and honey and honey washing my face was almost more than i had the energy to do
i'm ready to not be sick now
first set of mail orders arrived today and the dogs are in love with salmon oil. diatomaceous earth eating will be later.
when i was a kid i wanted to be a doctor. then i got older, broke my back areas and after that discovered that i just don't like the body fluids of strange people and after that just gave up and surrendered to my anxiety
thank you for that one, Happy Past
but today i am having an existential quarter life crisis. my life is a waste, i am a waste, i am weird and not normal. i want to have interesting chats about life with my mother like my younger sibling. i want to be able to call businesses all day every day no biggie like my older sibling, i want to be able to cultivate friendships.
but i never. have. an. y. thing. to say.
on top of emo-ness and 4 hours of sleep, i was also bloated ealier and my clothes felt too snug. i hate snug. the only snug thing i like is panties.
so i went more clearance rack shopping and got some size up clothes. i am currently wearing some slightly flowy yoga pants (usual size, fits great and comfy so i guess bloat is gone or jeans shrank) and a long sleeve tee (new, size up, nice and not snug). i also bought a few other shirts and a knitted loose jacket/cardigan thing. is soft. is also full price. full price was slightly ow.
apparently the salmon oil earlier turned 2/3 into horndogs and 1/3 into the female. they et some earth on canned food, then tried to hump then snuggled me and ran around. so they're happy and it made me happy
and lunch (meaning i just ate) was 2 chicken breasts and a thigh and skins all in a bowl, and i'm on my second bottle of water
sweet baby jesus i'm bored
[QUOTE=bloodorchid;995916]and who doesn't like pizza?[/QUOTE]
Communists. That is who. Oh, and those without souls. And Joe. F*ck that guy.
[url=http://www.sephora.com/carried-away-collector-s-set-P376087]Tarte Carried Away Collector's Set: Shop Combination Sets | Sephora[/url]
it's here! *running around* IT'S HERE!
pictures do not do these shadows justice :|
and i got a metric butt ton of free samples :D
my eyes don't like sharp bright lights so the reflective foil is killing me, but maybe i can paint it all black
and first muscle relaxer in a while last night is staying in me, it's not easy at all to stay upright. and food is on track. and we had a dr pepper after water out of desperation but the caffeine does nothing. muscle relaxer, i love you but you're making it hard for me
body wanted carbs in the form of subway and wendy's and chinese, so i drove a while with the heat on high and sang along to adele
i put some new shadow on, and made sure it got all around my eye lines, and used some of the mascara it came with. my eyes haven't watered but they feel like tiny goblins are standing guard with cattle prods, waiting to buzz my tear ducts at the first sign of intruders
meaning, my eyeballs feel like cold air is touching them, but they don't cry
i made some devilled eggs and left over sweet peas to eat and that helped, but a while later i decided to get fancy and make sweet potato with splenda brown sugar. ooey gooey sweet. my mouth kinda orgasmed a little, which is how *I* know i put too much in
if my mouth loves it, it may be too much
we're not on the wagon this evening
for real tho. it's one meal, i'm not gonna give a shit
i'm sore and tired and angry, so i'm eating noodles while reading internets gossip
i don't know why i was stupid enough to think, after reading people say 'no don't eat it, it's sharp and will internally injure you!', that diatomaceous earth would be like sand. it's fcking powder. i should have realized after having some for beetle pests, but the fact that it was loaded with clay fillers just threw my poor dumb brain for a loop apparently. been giving it to the dogs in food, i ate some last night
ho noes, i poo blood today!
it's literally like corn starch or baby powder. no worries, you guise. and if i lie to myself hard enough, i can convince myself that i'm so sore because the silica is trying to nanobot my bones back together