I hate editing. I re-write stories entirely when I edit. Maybe that's not such a bad thing, but then I hate them. The short-story format is the only one that works for me.
As for depression as a muse... I'm still struggling with that. I did some of my "best" writing while depressed. At first I thought it was all in high school, then I started writing in college and realized that while some of the concepts were beautiful, it wasn't executed well. I was less interested in the words and more in the anguish. My college writing was better, and I wish I'd taken more creative writing courses. I haven't written much since graduating. I've been a lot happier in the past couple of years and it's not that I'm not inspired to write, it's just that I want to witness the world as it is. I got very used to hiding behind words & photographs (I documented my friends jumping around on things in high school, I have SO MANY gigs of videos and photos of them being goofs) and not really seeing and remembering the world in my own eyes. So I'm considering myself on hiatus, I guess. I'd like to get back to it someday and refine both skills (photography and writing), but I'm just absorbing for now.
Thank you, you guys! It's good to know that I've got people in my corner- even if they are strictly over the Internet. I've been feeling really disconnected, which isn't helping anything.
Gay Panda: I've come to the conclusion that I write romances. It's tragic. However, the one that needs to be edited is a sci-fi/environmental romance, and my exercise in writing 75,000 words is a historical romance (that one was at least deliberate). I am very much a fan of fantasy/scifi. Then there are the ones that I'm good at but can never be admitted to in polite company. It would be nice if my talents went toward, say, NYT best-seller type novels, but you do what you can, right? And I hear you about some of them being aweful! But I guess it's all practice?
600 words on the historical romance (thank you for the push) and an unknown number on an old romance I dug up since I was wide awake at 1 am.
Ottercat: Wouldn't it be easier if we could just point at something and say "that's why I'm the way I am"? I am finding the more I learn the more I know what to do to manage myself. It is good to hear that it keeps getting better, though.
Wonder: I don't like editing because I'm not used to it. In school I got used to my papers and such just coming out the right way. Of course, my teachers usually had a lower bar than the one I set for myself :)
I have had a lot of good ideas in the throes of depression- but you're right- the execution isn't always great. I remember one story I was so proud of- then I sent it to my sister and she sent it back with that message. I got pissed and buried it. When I dug it out again- gee- she was right. Hate it when that happens. I'm thinking I need to take some writing classes or something. I'm good, but I could be great if I worked at it :) You are right about absorbing, too. I'm working on that, too.
I'm setting aside weight goals for the time being. Winter is a bad time, and my mind is not in a good place. That means that even if I try to lose weight, it won't happen. However, if I can focus on daily writing, and getting out my books on depression, and taking my supps religiously (10,000 IU of D this morning, but no time for my AM dose of the rest- I hate waking up before the sun) then maybe by spring I will be ready to lose weight again.
[QUOTE=drssgchic;638519]I've come to the conclusion that I write romances. It's tragic. However, the one that needs to be edited is a sci-fi/environmental romance, and my exercise in writing 75,000 words is a historical romance (that one was at least deliberate). I am very much a fan of fantasy/scifi. Then there are the ones that I'm good at but can never be admitted to in polite company. It would be nice if my talents went toward, say, NYT best-seller type novels, but you do what you can, right? And I hear you about some of them being aweful! But I guess it's all practice[/QUOTE]
Practice is everything. A friend from college had very unreasonable goals for her writing: she believed that her first draft was perfect and no more needed to be done to it. Ever. And when her readers (politely) suggested that maybe a character could be fleshed out, or that she needed description to go with the gobs of banter, she was very offended.
She'd consider my many drafts ridiculous, but my first draft is far from golden. That's why I enjoy editing: it makes the next drafts so much better.
^Those people drive me nuts. Editing isn't a bad thing, but it is something you have to be in the right mindset for. Editing essays was always easy for me, especially with notes (back in the days of submitting drafts in school) for revision. I could write to what the professor wanted, easily. Unless it was a topic I wasn't solid on, I generally did very well. The whole "5 paragraph essay" idea of structure is what carried me through high school and college. I always felt like I must've been out sick on the days that people learned proper grammar and sentence/essay construction, but I think that has more to do with my "executive function" issues and the way I learn. I am self-taught through tons of reading and observation, in all aspects of writing, and so editing has never been my friend.
Anyway, sorry I'm being rambly in your journal! Starting a writing class sounds like a great idea. I have no idea what kind of people might be in it, but I think it'd be fun to find out and get some prompts to get the gears turning again. Unfortunately my Christmas wishlist is pretty much fulfilled (my mom is getting me a crock pot, at the very least) so the cost of the classes would be an issue =\ Maybe in Spring!
Oh, btw, take solace in the fact that the sun will start it's journey back to the sky in a few weeks! The Winter Solstice approaches :)
[QUOTE=namelesswonder;638713]^Those people drive me nuts.[/QUOTE]
I left out the best part because I didn't want to hijack the Going Wild journal (but maybe you'll get a kick out of this too, Drssgchic). This friend wrote only the first three chapters of her first novel (fantasy genre) and then decided to submit it to publishing houses everywhere. She was absolutely convinced that they would recognize the brilliance in those chapters, fork over a six-figure advance to write the rest of it, and get her a movie deal.
[QUOTE]Ottercat: Wouldn't it be easier if we could just point at something and say "that's why I'm the way I am"? I am finding the more I learn the more I know what to do to manage myself. It is good to hear that it keeps getting better, though.[/QUOTE] It WOULD be easier! But I think you get stuck in blame and it becomes part of your story that you cling to and identify with. Then it's actually harder to take responsibility and do the difficult work of getting over yourself =)
So many writers! I guess that's why we're all here jabbering away in our journals =D
I used to write a LOT as a kid and was going to minor in creative writing in college (biology major), but I didn't have time for the advanced German Lit requirement. Heck, I didn't even have time to write fiction so I took a lot of poetry classes, lol. Then I thought I'd like to be a science writer, then I thought I'd rather be doing the science myself (and am now regretting the decision). I'd like to be Lewis Thomas. Or write sci-fi erotica, that would be hilarious! Except I wouldn't be able to tell anybody or show any of my writing to people.... We need a book club, I want to read everyone else's stuff!
Alright- my first drafts were never perfect! Just, you know, enough better than everyone else's to not need much work :) I don't get the idea of writing a couple of chapters and then selling the idea. If it's not done, then I don't know where it's going to go, for sure. I'm mostly self-taught as well. I read a lot, and as I get older I write more. I considered an English degree for college- then realized that I'd rather be outside with horses for college instead :) Now I'm coming to realize that a bit more techical skill might be a good idea.
Feel free to move in and ramble/jabber/take over- I like talking to other writers! We tend to have interesting things to say, and I've got a lot to learn.
Ok, someone else said the word first. I really just need to admit that I'm good at writing erotica and look into making a career of that. With a nom de plume, naturally. "Yeah, I've got a lucretive job that I like, Mom! No, I'm not going to tell you what it is."
Panda- I'm still working on your journal- and I can't believe I let that one slide! It's great! And you have to gird your loins and find a publisher. I'll read anything worth reading regardless of age or genre- and you're so worth reading.
I'm doing better today. That's what irks me about "mental illness" not being "medically proven" or whatever it was (which is bullshit, I'm just too lazy to look up proof). If it was environmental or malnourishment- the difference between yesterday and today would be way more than can be attributed to a large dose of D. I'm still having a "stupid customer day" and my supplements are no different than yesterday. But today I can (mostly) deal with life. I'm not on the verge of tears. Well- as I'm writing this, I'm hitting my limit. But this is the end of the day, not the beginning. Like you, Panda, I'm an introvert. 100% according to both times I took the Myers-Briggs. The fact that I'm not only in customer service but am good at it cracks me up on a regular basis. When it doesn't reinforce my desire to be a hermit. Which does great things for my social life, lemme tell ya. Epsom salt bath so I can sleep soundly tonight.
I need to clean my tub so I can give one of those Epsom salt baths a shot... Boyfriend is slow about cleaning things, though not about tidying up. Unfortunately I'm guilty of both, I just pick around at things and then clean up on the weekend. Nothing out of control, mind you, but there's a pile of perfectly wearable clothes adding up in the corner of my bedroom that really should be folded & put away.
[QUOTE=drssgchic;638908] :) I don't get the idea of writing a couple of chapters and then selling the idea. [/QUOTE]
I don't know where she got the idea that that was how it worked. Nonfiction is handled differently, of course, but for fiction, you need a completed manuscript. But she was one of those people who sees the world not for what it is, but what she would like it to be. So she wrote those three chapters, read them out loud to me while giggling hysterically at how witty she was, and considered herself ready for publication! I tried to explain (to no avail) that she needed to finish it first. Oh well. She was going to have to learn that one the hard way.
But I've [I]been[/I] through an agent's slush pile. I know what they get. Hers would be automatically discarded.
[QUOTE=drssgchic;638908]I'm doing better today. That's what irks me about "mental illness" not being "medically proven"[/QUOTE]
Thought I would jump in here for a minute. This whole mental illness not being medically proven is total BS. I come from a large family. Six of us are perfectly fine. The seventh, who was raised just as the rest of us were, went weirdo at 16. Making her own little world out of kitty litter, peanut butter and lettuce. Just one example of strangeness. It took a while but she was finally diagnosed with a chemical imbalance. When she takes her meds she is great, when she doesn't.........hoo, boy!! Fortunately she has finally realized how vital they are for her.
(jumping back out again......)