I like you already!!! Great ice-breaker!
I like you already!!! Great ice-breaker!
Gay Panda fell off the high-fat wagon. To maintain a pure and blameless self-image, as I like to do, the panda paw is pointed accusingly at A: December, in which relatives visited and wanted to go to a restaurant; B: December, in which Lady Friend inconveniently scheduled her birthday and wanted to go to a restaurant; and C: December, because it can’t fight back against unfair charges.
My daily intake of carbohydrates was still low (I’d be surprised if I cleared sixty), but my protein increased and my fat decreased, and all weight loss stopped. The panda body has a deep affection for 185 pounds and cannot bear to be parted from it for very long. However, [I]I[/I] do not have a deep affection for 185 pounds, and I can bear to be parted from it permanently. This means I should return to high fat and see if I can shake it.
Why does high fat have to be so disgusting? I’m tempted just to whip up a bowl of heavy cream and live off that and walnuts and meatballs and egg yolks. Guacamole has gotten tiresome and even though I shaved the fatty bits of meat into little pieces and swallowed them whole, I still couldn’t tolerate too much. And I would rather starve than eat macadamia nuts or cream cheese or coconut oil. But I cannot deny that high fat swiftly dropped me from the slap of 189.6. My potato cravings finally died, so that now I only think of potatoes with my usual level of adoration instead of overwhelming lust. I even turned down a baked potato offered to me the other day*. So high fat it is. EW.
The adult course of action would be to fill out my grocery list and get on with it instead of kvetching in my journal, but we all know which I chose. High fat is nasty. Yet I am interested to see what my body will do with Round Two of High Fat after the stunning success of Round One. Of course, Round One was just eliminating several pounds of water from intense bouts of Potato Time, not fat. If my lowest has been 184.2 and I’m currently 185.2, I can’t say I’m retaining much water right now. But I’m still curious what Round Two will do. Maybe it won’t do anything. But who doesn’t like a science experiment with their own body?
Since I have already flaunted my mathematical genius before you, and it isn’t very modest to do so a second time, I will accept the ratios provided by my phone app instead of performing calculations in my head**. I was eating about 69-70% during Round One according to the phone, which is currently missing since Benign Poltergeist was on a tear last night. The pillows are askew on the sofa, the throw is not where I remember leaving it, and my phone is just gone. Primal Coach Kitty is so exhausted from defending my belongings and the honor of her late mother that she passed out on a chair and hasn’t even flicked an ear for hours. Thankfully, I wasn’t trying to sleep last night. Oh, wait, I WAS.
Round Two. I can’t put it off because vacation is approaching, and trying to eat this way while on the road will make me insane. I have no restaurant invitations in the near future. I have few non-primal foodstuffs in the house***. I have no excuse, not even December. So here we are.
ROUND TWO OF HIGH FAT:
UPDATE: (in explanation of *, **, and ***)
* Of course, it was being offered by Grandpa Simpson, which made it less tempting.
** By head, I mean on a dozen scraps of paper with ink all over my fingers and obscenities directed at my calculator.
*** I have a bag of gummy bears from Germany. I have had it for a while and it remains unopened, and I am saving it for Christmas. I don’t really celebrate Christmas (or anything in particular), but I need something to do on that day since everything is closed. So I will eat gummy bears and play video games and think about packing for my San Diego miniature golf vacation, since thinking about it is far preferable to doing it.
My money is on the phone being under the kitty!
[QUOTE=Griffin;650346]My money is on the phone being under the kitty![/QUOTE]
Once it actually was, and I found it by calling my number from Lady Friend's phone. The kitty suddenly leaped up in alarm as it rang under her big belly.
Oh, Troll. Were you lonely? Am I going to need to press The Death Triangle at the bottom left-hand corner to make you go away? Your name doesn't even break down to an amusing anagram, or any anagram at all.
Hi Gay Panda
Excellent Parts 1,2 & 3!
I'm suffering through this one right now:
[QUOTE=Gay Panda;649545]Certain foods have certain properties that give a quick high. I can eat them if I want, but I will feel gross later and have horrible cravings that last for days. [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Gay Panda;650454]Once it actually was, and I found it by calling my number from Lady Friend's phone. The kitty suddenly leaped up in alarm as it rang under her big belly.[/QUOTE]
this made me laugh :D
[QUOTE=Gay Panda;650635]Oh, Troll. Were you lonely? Am I going to need to press The Death Triangle at the bottom left-hand corner to make you go away? Your name doesn't even break down to an amusing anagram, or any anagram at all.[/QUOTE]
I press the Death Triangle again and again...I think it's broken on my journal...will you come over and fix my Death Triangle?
Hi, winencandy! I hope your cravings hit the road soon, mine clung on for days and made me NUTS.
I will be happy to fix your Death Triangle, after I press mine for the very first time to see where it goes. But maybe these aren't trolls in our journals. Maybe they're really the work of some admiring flirts, madly in love with us, too shy to use their own names or compose their own messages. I have never had a secret admirer and perhaps I'm shutting down the romantic aspirations of aehg42wsdj by callously reporting him/her when really all he/she wanted me (and about ten other journalists) to know is that we are [I]loved[/I].
Oh, aehg42wsdj, I love you, too. <<<<[COLOR="Red"]HUG[/COLOR]>>>>
[QUOTE]Oh, aehg42wsdj, I love you, too. <<<<HUG>>>> [/QUOTE]
Ooooh, don't hug trolls! Very unsanitary. And they probably smell like canned spiced ham or something!
[QUOTE=ottercat;650759]Ooooh, don't hug trolls! Very unsanitary. And they probably smell like canned spiced ham or something![/QUOTE]
As long as they don't have swine flu.