[QUOTE=ItinerantChild;605539]Pandakins, it is not the end of the world. Our weight fluctuates. That is what it does. The important thing is having fun. Did you have fun? Fun is more important than the numbers on your super sensitive scale.[/QUOTE]
Oh, I'm not particularly upset about it! I knew that this was going to happen as a result of the celebration. What was very funny to me was that I couldn't even make it through two carb-heavy meals in the same day. Just one and my body shouted [I]wtf?![/I] and forced me to stop.
Not to worry. I had a similar day last Thursay. I went crazy. I skipped breakfast and then had a photoshoot until 1. So I went to my favorite Irish place (mcD's) and ate the bun, fries and everything. Then I ate some ritz crackers and biscotti - and some boxed candy! I managed to pull it together a little for dinner and had the same thing as you. Up a little the next day and up 4 lbs the day after. I kept the faith and returned to primal and lost the additional weight PLUS 2 more lbs.
So I predict your body has totally changed and will you return back to your new fat burning normal panda self within another day or so.
PART ONE: Good morning, ducklings.
In the Before Time, my breakfast consisted of one serving of Cheerios and one-third of a cup of milk. Because Gay Panda understood the principles of calories in – calories out, everything was measured so that I did not get a few Cheerios too many, or an extra splash of fatty milk. After a neurologist said that I should tack on some protein to eliminate my afternoon headaches, I added in a string cheese. (And although I tried to make this low fat, I couldn’t bear the taste.)
By 10, I was hungry again. I would have fruit and a granola bar. By 12:30, I was hungry again. I would have a peanut butter sandwich on whole grain bread. After a grueling run, I would make myself a smoothie, and then have a grain-filled dinner. I congratulated myself for good dietary choices, but wondered why I weighed 231 pounds. Looking back on this, I wince. What was the carbohydrate load? Well over 250 grams a day, frequently over 300. And my body absorbed it, day after day, adding on layers of fat and rocketing me up and down emotionally with my blood sugar.
Last Friday, when I tried to visit the Before Time for a single day of dietary extravagance, my body put its foot down. As predicted, I tripped and face planted into a bean and cheese burrito drowned in red sauce. A bottle of soda chose me to be its lord and master. It was lovely but not as captivating as it used to be, and I only finished three quarters. The burrito was totaled in its accident with my face.
Then I sat back and felt weird. Not bad, just weird. Lady Friend was dizzy. The car went to the candy store, where carnage ensued upon a child’s-sized gelato. Half was hers, half was mine. In the Before Time, we both would have gotten our own adult’s-sized small. But that cup seemed enormous. We wanted a little sugar, not a bomb, and what we had was still almost too much. Afterwards, the shoe store increased its gravitational pull and sucked me in, and Gay Panda now has snazzy brown clogs with a tiny hint of bling. In addition to the snazzy purple clogs that I already own, and the snazzy green clogs, and my [I]I Mean Business[/I] Boots. I don’t need more shoes. But those shoes needed me.
Four cinnamon bears committed suicide in my mouth, and I stuffed their surviving friends under the car seat as we drove to a cheesy place that has a miniature golf course. Gay Panda is the Tiger Woods of the miniature golf circuit, except that I don’t get the millions of dollars in endorsements, or lusty, star-dazzled waitresses throwing themselves at me, nor do I have an enraged wife chasing my car down the road with a golf club. In the spirit of honesty, I admit that one-tenth of Gay Panda is jealous of Tiger Woods. The other nine-tenths is grossed out.
It is too bad that miniature golf is not a primal exercise, because I would happily perform that several times a week. But maybe not with Lady Friend, since she was feeling bitchy and said our rental putters and balls and score pencils were covered in swine flu. But I will get her back. Lady Friend is an imposing, no-nonsense woman, and stomps about in steel-toed boots and men’s Carhartt work pants. She operates heavy equipment and manages a crew and can lift Gay Panda right off the floor. But she is also deathly afraid of spiders. The next time she screams because a teeny-tiny spider is hotfooting it in her direction, I will amble on my way to rescue her.
PART TWO: After golf, we played Primal Skeeball and Primal Air Hockey, and decided that pizza sounded too heavy and that we would visit a Japanese restaurant instead. On the drive, my body began to rebel. My brain came unglued with obsessive thoughts. I was smacked with insane thirst, although it was a cool day in my magical bamboo forest, and walking around a miniature golf course is hardly sweaty work. And HOW could I have left a quarter of my soda on the table and walked away? I hated myself for doing that. I wanted the rest of my soda, and I wanted it NOW.
At the Japanese restaurant, I drank my water. I drank Lady Friend’s. I drank my refill. I drank the broth of my soup. Still I was thirsty, but the liquid coagulated in my stomach. I’ve never understood the expression about having a brick in one’s stomach, but now I do. The waiter was concerned that I did not touch my dinner, but had I swallowed anything, I would have thrown up. The cravings and OCD lessened, but the thirst continued like I’d spent the day crossing a desert. The brick softened, but just enough for me to fill up the extra space with more water.
Did I have cravings over the weekend? Yes. Even as I type this today, I want a soda. I want popcorn. I want waffles. But it was alarming to be having fun and then have my body and brain suddenly stop working. That doesn’t happen very often with primal foods, where I can go for long stretches of time without eating and not feel it. I don’t know what triggered the crazy thirst, and I loathe when my brain gets locked in its ridiculous OCD hamster wheels. I don’t want to feel that way again today. So I’m having cravings, but I’m in control of them.
You might be impressed at the Willpower of the Panda. Don’t be. This would be a dangerous time if I lived with non-primal people. I can feel my body wanting the quick, easy rush that ice cream would give. If you offered me bread, I would sample. But I don’t have those options in the house, and I am too lazy of a panda to seek them out. Laziness is not celebrated as a virtue, but it is my saving grace.
I’m beginning to think that it’s not the initial break with primal that is risky. It is the days after the break. If you’re bubbling along in life with nothing more than usual going wrong, maybe it’s not so hard to bounce right back to primal. But if something new has gone wrong, that’s when you’ll cave to your body. The break has primed it for the rush and you don’t have the wherewithal to fight. So it is most excellent that my fridge contains nothing to abuse. The weekend was stressful. A family member is having terrible health issues and I went to the hospital both days to visit, circling every sad face on my feelings charts because this family member deserves so much more than her body is giving. There is nothing I can do but sit among the beeping machinery, and glare at the nurses’ white board because it says ‘Excellent Care Is:’ and there is nothing written after it.
Also I got another rejection letter, and have to seriously consider what is going to come next with my career since the traditional route isn’t working. This makes me feel defeated. School is such a very different world. I studied hard and made good grades, a simple cause and effect that if one works hard, one will usually be rewarded. Luck does not play a big factor. But it does in the publishing industry. It does not matter how well you write at times; you have to get lucky, too, and there is no way to prepare for that. This makes me nuts, leaving it to the lottery of luck.
Right now, I feel somewhat weak emotionally, and I would cave physically if I had the choice. But there is no choice, unless I want to drive somewhere and create one. Today I am toasting laziness and how it rescues me, and soon I will weigh myself and see if my body is still in its water retention fit or starting to let it go. Then I need to deal with the pork butt, and if you have all been lying and I unwrap damp, hairy pig buttocks, I will sneak them into my neighbor’s fridge and return to bed for the day.
Panda, Panda, Panda, I'll buy an e-book from you, if it's ANYTHING like your journal! I love sci fi/fantasy and figure you have what it takes!! You don't need a publisher. Just please don't use the word "underpants" in it as it makes me weird out.
I had a friend that self-published a book. It was based on how the shoes you own over the course of your life change as your life changes. Great idea but it was semi-autobiographical, characters based on family and friends; only you hoped it was fiction because she'd never mentioned before that her dad had abused her. And her brother died of a drug overdose, although he was alive and well. How would you like to see that?? Anyway, both of my daughters showed up in it, using their real names* and personality quirks. Weird, weird, weird.
I hope things are improving for you. I know when I eat something not primal I struggle more in the 3-4 days that follow that I'd ever hope, to get back on track.
Lazy in the new 'it" thing! Really, I read that somewhere. Or thought it. Or wished I would have thought it.
*my daughters' names are very unique and you'd know it was them, even if my youngest's belly button quirk hadn't been mentioned...and it was.
UPDATE: The answers are in.
You are standing at the singles mixer, having just heard the man/woman (whichever you fancy) announce that his/her two hobbies are wizards and underpants.
Gay Panda would flee. Should the person be hot, I would spend the rest of the mixer surreptitiously appreciating the hot insanity over my iPhone and thinking [I]what a shame.[/I]
Pineneedles wavers between fleeing to curiosity as to how these hobbies work.
Bloodorchid would engage with questions.
Debdoub would try not to throw up on this person’s feet for saying the word ‘underpants’.
Hockeyfan7 would be reminded of a BFF’s comment that her weirdo sign was flashing.
I think that most of us are curious for more information, even if not all of us are brave enough to query this person in order to receive it. I would worry that showing interest in his/her hobbies would be misconstrued as showing interest of a romantic nature in his/her person. Which I would not have, or the little that I did have due to the hotness would be severely mitigated by the lack of social skills.
And so, I nominate bloodorchid as our goodwill ambassador, to go forth and collect as much as possible from the mind of this person. We thank you for your service, bloodorchid, and ask that you wear a wire so that the rest of us can listen in on your conversation and giggle along the wall.
AFTER THE DEBAUCHERY: DAY THREE
Monday weight: [B]188.0[/B]
Still 0.8 above where I was on Friday, and 1.6 above the lowest of 186.4, but at least it went down. Of course, yesterday's food intake was a bit sparse with the hospital visit. I love that the lunch menu for the diabetic heart-diseased patients includes a BAS. Not a Big Ass Salad, but a Big Ass Slice of cake. My family member just stared at it and then said firmly, "Well, if they're going to give it to me, THEN I'M GOING TO EAT IT!"
[QUOTE=Debdoub;606092]Panda, Panda, Panda, I'll buy an e-book from you, if it's ANYTHING like your journal! I love sci fi/fantasy and figure you have what it takes!! You don't need a publisher. Just please don't use the word "underpants" in it as it makes me weird out.
I had a friend that self-published a book. It was based on how the shoes you own over the course of your life change as your life changes. Great idea but it was semi-autobiographical, characters based on family and friends; only you hoped it was fiction because she'd never mentioned before that her dad had abused her. And her brother died of a drug overdose, although he was alive and well. How would you like to see that?? Anyway, both of my daughters showed up in it, using their real names* and personality quirks. Weird, weird, weird. [/QUOTE]
I am shocked that your daughters' information was in there so baldly!!! I hope that their portrayals were flattering, and YIKES!
I know absolutely zero about e-books, so today is going to have to be a day of Panda Education. I am afraid that the word 'underpants' does indeed appear in the five books of my series, but very rarely. Actually, I don't think it appears at all in Books 3 or 4.
UPDATE: I just searched the word through all five books. It appears only in 1 and 5. If they are ever published in any capacity, I will warn you which pages to skip. :)
Yes! Self-publish your books electronically. I would buy them all for my Nook (and not download via bittorrent, like I sometimes do. Shhh, don't tell!). I may not chime in very often, but I am always happy when I see FABULOUS in the list of new posts in the forum.
P.S. I was on vacation for 5 days and while I managed to avoid the evil wheat, I had lots and lots of sugar and potatoes. Oh my. I will not do that again for awhile. I did a lot of walking during that time, which I think is the only way I managed to not gain weight, but I didn't feel altogether great, and I slept horribly. Now I, too, have to deal with the cravings that have been unleashed. Boo for sugar :(
[QUOTE=Gay Panda;606114]And so, I nominate bloodorchid as our goodwill ambassador, to go forth and collect as much as possible from the mind of this person. We thank you for your service, bloodorchid, and ask that you wear a wire so that the rest of us can listen in on your conversation and giggle along the wall.[/QUOTE]