Primal Journal-deMuralist

So I started this yesterday. Well lets be honest I started this years ago. I was put on a diet in 8th grade, actually put on drugs-speed-at the time I weighed 150 at 5'7" and was on the swim team-ie. excellent cardio health. I have been dieting ever since. Whatever conventional wisdom was at the time, that is the diet I did. Many many fad diets. Only to end up here, 40 years later and about 100 pounds overweight. I have been doing Atkins for about 4 months and have lost about 22 pounds, but the recipes increasingly bother me, not physically, but mentally-all the fake stuff.

So I decided to go with the one thing that I couldn't consider a fad diet, primal.

So my starting stats:

SW: 267
neck: 14.5"
r. bicep:17"
r. forearm: 12"
Chest:48"
Waist: 40"
Hips: 51"
r. Thigh: 30"
r. calf: 17"

My plan is to measure monthly on the 1st or so.

Yesterdays food:

B: coffee, cream, protein powder, stevia, egg, sausage
L: salad, salmon, flaxseed meal, avocado, jarlsberg, coconut oil, cider vinegar
D: country ribs, celery, rondele, almond butter

If anyone happens to be reading and has suggestions or comments, I welcome them, I feel a little like I am feeling my way in a dark room. Which given this is the way we have eaten for millennium is kind of a strange thought.

Last night we went to a songwriter's concert. It was outdoors at a beautiful hilltop setting. I made a picnic dinner for us. So while dinner was primal - I even made the mayonnaise for the salads. Dessert was not. It is called Chocolate Crack, and for good reason. So I had a bit of that - tastings while I packed it up.

I did move a bit more yesterday. My goal regarding movement is to do more of it in my every day life for right now. And to start working on the 5 essential movements. I think I have gotten my 16 yo son to agree to come along on this journey. We are going to hang a chin up bar in the stair well of the basement.

[B]My goals[/B]...

[B]My Ultimate Goal[/B]: is to achieve the highest expression of my body and my being.

[B]My Intention[/B]: is to learn to follow my body cues, to naturally end my weight struggle, and to free myself to thrive in the rest of my life. To become my dream.

[B]weight goals[/B] with no time limit...
-my first was to relose the weight I had gained from a round of prednisone, accomplished while on vacation no less, 270.
-my second goal is to lose my 10%, which would be 29 pounds, which is basically to break below 260.
-my 3rd goal is to get below my weight at delivery of my children (I weighed exactly the same at the last appointment before delivery for both of them), which is 252.
-my 4th goal is to get back below my most recent "low weight" of 235. This is the point where people really start to notice the loss and where I was when I decided to go vegetarian to lose weight.
-My 5th, and the real biggie, is to get below 200.
-my sixth weight goal is to get to the weight I was when I started my first pregnancy, 182
-my 7th weight goal is the final push I would like to get to 162 which is what I weighed when I met my dh,
-my weight maintenance goal is to hover between 160 and 165.

I will add goals as I go regarding movement and life in general. This is plenty for now!

Yesterday's food:

B: coffee, cream, protein powder, stevia, eggs-2, sausage
L: "Chocolate Crack" and tastes of salads in progress, avocado 1/2, coffee and cream - I woke up at 4 this morning
D: Chicken salad with broccoli and red peppers and homemade mayo, veggie salad again homemade mayo, broccoli salad with chopped nuts and vinaigrette no dessert at dinner.

Yay! you started a journal.

I love the weight goals. My most emotional one was getting to my wedding weight of 235. My next big one is 199. I'm afraid I'll get so worked up when I first hit it that I will eat in celebration and go right back over 200.

PS I love the quotes in your sig.

@Paula! Thanks for visiting. I started a journal cause I think as I get closer to my ultimate goal I will want a copy of the journey. Plus, I want to remind myself it is about the journey.

So your wedding dress is too big now? Wow, that is something to shoot for. I was 170 for mine, so by that time I will be within in sight of the final goal.

Yesterday was a clean day. I went out and got the fixin's for a chin up bar. I am planning to put it up tomorrow, I am slammed today with volunteer work for DS's school, but I do plan to go out for a walk here in an hour or so, once all of my morning duties are over.

Meals for yesterday;

B: coffee, cream, stevia, protein powder
L: leftover chicken salad, veggie salad, broccoli salad
D: chicken sausage, tomatoes, peppers, onions, mascarpone

While I stayed clean, I think that I need to make sure, at least for now, that I eat breakfast. Yesterday by the time I got hungry enough for food it was pretty late in the day and I was starving. I had apparently missed any subtle cues. But ended up eating too much at lunch. I was so hungry I ate too fast to catch a satisfied body cue and went straight to stuffed. Although, dinner ended up being small. I did go up a pound.

That brings me to a discussion of weight and the scale. I know there are many who think you should get rid of the scale. Been there, done that, didn't work for me. I need a daily reminder and regular feedback to help me stay on track and focused. Also, by weighing daily I no longer attach any emotional feelings to the number whether up or down. So for now it will be a daily weigh in.

The Wedding Dress - I wish I could try it on again. It was a rental from a costume shop. Henry VIII period style with a square bodice and a flared skirt. Very Dramatic and only $300. I'm glad now that I don't have a wedding dress stored because I never had a daughter.

The Scale - I love weighing every day too, but once in a while, I like to give it up for at least a week. Tomorrow, I get to weigh and measure. I'm excited to see my results for a week of 100% Primal eating.

They discovered that what they have thought for at least 2 years was a sinus infection was actually a cancer. This is my dad, 75 years old, now will have to do proton radon treatments (whatever that is) 2 to 3 times a day, every weekday, for 6 weeks. In a city that is a 3 hour drive from their home. I am an 11 hour drive away, so only emotional support is what I can offer. Well....except some very dear friends of ours own a very small beach house that they only use on weekends. It is less than 30 minutes drive from the treatment center. They have offered it to my parents for the duration. Mom and Dad will be in the house during the week, the friends on the weekend. So now my parents will not have to worry about paying to stay in some hotel or crummy housing (yep, really good friends, parents are staying rent free), they will have the healing force of the ocean during the treatments, and I feel like I have been able to do something that is actually helpful. That is rare when a family member is ill, feeling like I may have contributed to the healing process. Knowing I eased a major stress during this time. Such a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Now we just have to go through the six weeks.

@Paula, the wedding dress sounds amazing. What did your hubby wear? I had my dress made, found a wonderful seamstress, dress plus 12 yards of satin backed crepe material was $250! It was peach, big portrait collar, long sleeves, ballerina length, fitted bodice, extremely flowy skirt, we swing dance (well we did), so I wanted the dress to really moved when we danced. Someday I will find someone to dye it black, it would be a great cocktail dress!

Good luck with the scale tomorrow.

So sorry to hear about your Dad. It is good that you were able to help. Feeling helpless is one of the biggest stressors.

PS - I couldn't get my husband to wear the Henry VIII costume so we went for the traditional Tux.

Yesterday was a strange day. After posting elsewhere that I don't binge, I felt bingey. I didn't cave in, but I was not totally primal.

B: coffee, cream, stevia, protein powder, 2 eggs, 2 sausage
L: lettuce greens, leftover chicken/broccoli salad, 1/2 avocado, flaxseed meal, olive oil, vinegar
S: protein bar (store bought, low carb, not primal, but does use stevia as sweetener)
D: shirataki noodles, peanut sauce (homemade, but are peanuts primal?)
S: protein bar (homemade, not low carb, but primal)

I did go for a 30 minute walk yesterday, and ended up doing a lot of extra walking as I tried to set up the bulletin boards at DS's high school. Also, I got the bar and hooks so that I can put the chin up bar in the basement today. Oddly excited about this. Start working on the 5 essential movements today. Although I may hold off on #5 for a while, that is the overhead push up and it is a little hard to accomplish at home so I am going to have to work on this.

I have decided instead of clearing out the pantry I will just not replace as the family goes through the non-primal stuff. That will give me time to play with recipes that are primal that will replace things. Biggest problem is the snack issue. Although I did yesterday, I rarely do snack. However DS and DH both do. So I am going to start practicing with some kind of cookie-ish nut snacks and go from there.

@Paula, I appreciate your visiting my journal and really appreciate your support!

Funny, I am trying to replace some snack foods in my home as well. Let me know what you come up with. All of my boys (3 sons and husband) could benefit from Primal Living.