I love and restrict fruit to one piece/serving per day. I eat it at the end of my dinner -- which is a full meal.
But, I would suggest that you look into body dysmorphia, leida. I think your phrasing is exhibiting some signs. Particularly if it's all 'character flaw' that leads you to the "problem" of being 20% body fat.
My understanding is that Leida wants to gain muscle and that's what she finds a major challenge. It's not merely about her percentage body fat.
I don't have a problem and I consulted the psycologist about my views, and he did not see much abnormal behavior. I also went through the body image book that indicated that I have mild body image issues, but no-where near body dysmorphia (which is a very specific disorder, not a broad label to apply to anyone who thinks they'd benefit from losing a couple inches). I am not feeling that I have to get that look or die trying. I can and will live to the end of my days the way I am. But I will keep looking for a way to get flatter stomach and pronounced muscle, while enhancing my deltoid size without having to do anything that causes suffering.
Potato diet: to my great surprise, my digestion voted down the potato diet on day 2. It took me almost 2 weeks to normalize. I am not sure why that happened but it will be a while before I try again (if I do; I much prefer food variety). That's not to say I won't have a boiled potato until then.
I was for a while feeding every 3 or 4 hours, small meals, and that was pretty much the only schedule I could uphold, then two or three days ago I went into feeling comfortable with smaller breakfasts and huge gaps between meals. So, I am just doing that for now. I do not remember the last time I was happy with 2 boiled eggs and a bit of extra (creamed coconut today, olives yesterday) on the side for breakfast and a bowl of salad and a cup of meat for lunch. That did coincide with introducing fruit and almond butter dinners. Maybe it is all in the brain and my brain stopped sending the "You don't treat us nicely at all' signal, or I am settling in the new weight and start maintaining. Will see. Maybe tomorrow I will need 5 meals again.
[quote]I love and restrict fruit to one piece/serving per day. I eat it at the end of my dinner -- which is a full meal. [/quote]
Good job. You are a better woman than me, and I wish I could do that without experiencing a severe emotional turmoil. While you eat a full dinner, you skip breakfast. I am just trying to minimize supper without setting off the depravation responce.
After reading many, many of her posts, I would also suggest Leida consider body dysmorphia as a possibility. I know that you've spoken to a therapist about it before, Leida, but not all therapists are skilled at dealing with body image issues in women. I think you are a beautiful woman in great shape who has amazing energy and dedication, and I wish you had more of that to give to the things you love and did not feel so wrapped up in the quest for an imagined perfection. I understand wanting to be at a healthy weight, but you are already there and I feel like this ongoing fight with yourself must be very painful.
I was for a while feeding every 3 or 4 hours, small meals, and that was pretty much the only schedule I could uphold, then two or three days ago I went into feeling comfortable with smaller breakfasts and huge gaps between meals. So, I am just doing that for now. I do not remember the last time I was happy with 2 boiled eggs and a bit of extra (creamed coconut today, olives yesterday) on the side for breakfast and a bowl of salad and a cup of meat for lunch. That did coincide with introducing fruit and almond butter dinners. Maybe it is all in the brain and my brain stopped sending the "You don't treat us nicely at all' signal, or I am settling in the new weight and start maintaining. Will see. Maybe tomorrow I will need 5 meals again.[/QUOTE]
I would bet it's at least in part about being kinder to yourself and giving your body what it wants.
[QUOTE=Leida;1038426]Good job. You are a better woman than me, and I wish I could do that without experiencing a severe emotional turmoil. While you eat a full dinner, you skip breakfast. I am just trying to minimize supper without setting off the depravation responce.[/QUOTE]
It's not about virtue or who is better. The emotional turmoil part of all this is what sets off alarm bells for me. If your eating restrictions cause you so much emotional distress, then that's a sign there's something unhealthy going on there.
Yeah... you know, I don't feel like a failure when I eat a piece of junkfood that makes me bloat and stalls weightloss. If you are having issues with your diet making you ill, you really need to disengage the emotional connection with food. I wonder if part of why fruit makes you feel badly is because you are stressed because you ate fruit.
I have a shellfish allergy. There is no turmoil or anything- I just flat can't eat it. I eat it, I get ill. I could even die.
It's not a contest where the one who can stick to the most miserable diet wins. I'm not envious of Zoebird's one a day fruit consumption. I actually feel bad that she has to limit herself. I'm glad she can do what she needs to be healthy though. Another example- my boss hardly ever eats and is thin, thin, thin. She is miserable. But she can reject food under any circumstance. It's neither admirable or envious.
Leida, can you ever just enjoy food? Like dig into an awesome meal, free from nagging doubts? I can honestly tell you that until a few months ago, I could not just eat without the mental "this will make fat" calculator. In the past few months, I've been set free from that. Feels good and a lot of foods that used to "make me sick" don't anymore.
Now... I'm a gal happy at an easy to acheive body fat% of around 25%. I know my mentality would be an epic fail trying to get lean. I need to lose maybe 20 more lbs or so, but am in no hurry. But... I am healthy and I look good, and my problem spots are not fixable with a diet.
Leida, I hope at some point you either acheive success in getting to a low body fat% OR find happiness with your slim body and health and find a wy to enjoy food.
totally agree with all these above observations. I also find that I've disengaged more from food and i have lost a lot of my perceived "symptoms" as well. So I guess some of it was actually in my head---or at least the STRESS from it was inducing unfavorable reactions. Leida, I would definitely seek out more meditation, epsom salt baths and time to just not *think and obsess about all of it all of the time...you don't seem happy.
Basically, no one needs to feel sorry for me, nor assert that I am egotistically asserting that I'm better than someone else because of what I'm doing.
Instead, I'm simply sharing what I do, I do what is easiest and most pleasurable for me, and then that's that. :)
There, that's the short version.
But I agree with Owly, I think another therapist is in order. The amount of emotional turmoil around food/body is greater than normal/healthy.
I don't think I am mentally ill.
I have never failed to make time for anything I wanted to do or had to do. Neither I am obsessing about my body image. This forum is about fitness and nutrition so I speak to that and to what I do about it and what challenges I have encountered, overcame or failed to overcome. I doubt I will find much audience to my pondering about the upsides of getting another 2 colors of x-mas cactus this year to complete my x-mas cactus collection in a thread dedicated to finding a fitness program that is the most efficient for a woman with larger thighs. (Anyone collects X-mas cactuses and africain violets here? I also branched out into hybicus a few weeks back. It has a bud, so I am all on pins and needles to see what color it is)
The question of how to reduce body fat while not impairing the upper body muscular development is of a great interest to me. And, yes, I experimented with a number of approaches. Don't think it makes me a crazy person, because I have abandoned every approach that caused suffering or interfered with the rest of my life. I feel that a woman at a normal weight should be able to discuss her body fat percentage without being sent for a psychiatric evaluation.
Anyway, did a 40 min kroll yesterday, pretty cool. I can't believe how much improvement I got with the simple tips from the 4 Hour Body. Those tips fixed the way I take the breath (I was trained to race after all), and I think all my lifting contributed to the stroke being really strong. I gotta ask my hubby to video me to see if the stroke is in a good shape (though yeah wrist was not optimal but should be Okay tomorrow). Now it is to starting work on flips & counting laps to judge improvement. I wonder if I can make it to 1.5 K mark in 30 min - that's my first goal. I am trying to figure out how much swimming could make that difference (20% of efforts giving 80% of the results in 4 Hour Body).