Oh my gosh, Lexapro is undoubtedly affecting your sex drive. After 3+ years on various SSRIs, mine was absolutely SHOT. It came back a little when I got off Lexapro, and then more when I got off birth control pills. I feel you on the money-pit bloodwork, I'm just trying to tackle one thing at a time but I want it all fixed now! haha
I might walk to Trader Joe's (not much farther than a mile I think) when I get home to enjoy the weather, get some movement in, and pick up something nibbly. I've been wanting citrus lately, but it always bothers my teeth. I wonder if oil pulling would help with that? I would love to munch on an orange!
-I feel like eating ANYTHING makes my post nasal drip worse lately. Maybe I'm ingesting pollen haha. Just have to hold out till the 10th so I can get tested and know for sure what I'm allergic to. Can't wait! Listerine in the morning is the only way to make my breath not atrocious and I'm sure it doesn't last long.
-My hands (right hand especially) have been SO DRY for a couple weeks now. I picked up more hand lotion (Gold Bond) on vacation because holding hands with Boyfriend was awkward with my scaly knuckles. Coconut oil seems like the only thing that doesn't make my hands oily after application, I think I might need to craft something to use at work (maybe just a different container?). My keyboard feels weird (grimey? not sticky or slick) and it's grossing me out.
-I was fine with the quality of my hair over vacation. I'm about 4 weeks into my no-poo experiment and have only washed my hair 4 times, but this week I'll probably end up washing it twice (usually wash on Saturdays, but I washed this morning). After I washed with my baking soda water and conditioned with vinegar water on Sunday, my hair still did not feel very clean, mostly on the top of my head. I washed again today and it feels simultaneously dry and grimy on top now, but the shorter sides and back feel thick, soft, and clean. I'm not sure if I'm just not washing the roots well enough or using too much of something. I only let the vinegar-water sit for a few seconds because I recall my hair getting very greasy before when I used too much. I need to get a boar bristle brush to keep at work so I can brush my hair after my scooter-ride and my hair is completely dry. I'll do water only for as long as I can and see if it sorts itself out. It's so hard to tell when it needs moisture and when it needs a good cleaning! It could also be a hard water thing, I don't know how to tell if my water is "hard". In that's the case, I might try distilled water for my hair rinses (just for the solutions though) and lemon instead of vinegar (how on earth does that work as a conditioner?).
-But on the color front, the purple I applied didn't last long and seems to have stripped the green from the last of the bleached bits. My hair is quite light where the green has significantly faded. Maybe it's just from the sun exposure last week. I am still undecided on when/if I will go light, light blonde. If I do, I'm not sure if I should wash my hair before application or use my natural grease and such as a protection agent!
I'm picking back up with my half-assed occasional exercise again this week. I did some KB swings and crunches last night, some more this morning. I'm trying to push myself to squat lower, which reduces the total #, but it should help with pelvic floor muscles. The strength of mine is concerning to me since I once had physical therapy for them (felt like peeing all the time, no infections, was determined by a specialist that those muscles were really weak, most awkward physical therapy ever). And hey, if I ever bear children, I'd rather not shred my pelvic floor muscles in the process. If I get a good exercise routine going now, I can keep it up when/if I get pregnant someday, since they say you shouldn't start a new routine once preggers. Thinking ahead FTW?
The sleepiness continues. I KNOW I'd feel so much better if I got enough sleep! I think I'll have some coffee later. No lunch today, was too wiped to make anything this morning. Big grocery trip tonight, in which I plan on getting some oranges and lots of meat. I wonder if it'll be cheaper because of the "meat scare" that's going on, with people thinking red meat is a killer and all. If I get desperate today I'll go downstairs and see if the cafe has some fruit.
Two nights ago, I took 2 5-HTP (100mg) total because I didn't feel sleepy around bedtime, after taking my first pill with dinner. I woke up fairly easily, despite only getting about 7 hrs of sleep.. I'm wondering if I might need to increase the dose, but for now I just want to try to get to bed at a reasonable time, and then we'll see.
Yesterday was incredibly boring at work. I foresee the same today. I wish I could think of more to do, but if I go down to work on the giant company crossword puzzle, it'll be obvious I'm not doing work!
[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17438627]BBC News - Trayvon Martin: 'Shoot first' law under scrutiny[/url]
Last photo, woman on the left, I want that arm/shoulder/chest definition!
[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17453275]BBC News - Paragliding Utah grandma, 101, breaks world record[/url]
I want to be this cool when I'm old. She looks like my grandma does at 86!
I'm considering doing some progress photos. I put some photos up in the Before & After thread (Success Stories subforum) back in August, and I've lost around 10 lbs since then, I think. I don't remember, maybe I was still around 135 then? 10-15 then. Anyway, I don't have much in the ways of muscle definition, but my body is looking much more like I want it to. I don't know if it's worth sharing since it's been a slow process. My vanity wants to show off, frankly. Maybe I'll wait till I get some new bathing suit bottoms. My one-piece sure as hell won't fit this year (size large or 6 I think)!
I played WoW for the first time in a couple of months last night, I stayed up later than I'd originally intended because I was having so much fun. It was nice to come back and play with some of the guild regulars and some new (really funny) guys, especially on a lower level run that I could be good at without really trying (since I'm way out of practice). I felt too riled up to sleep immediately after though and started picking things up around the apartment. I had to put in both ear plugs to try to sleep (the white noise of my tinnitus makes it easier for me to sleep than the irregular noises in the neighborhood and from Boyfriend) and don't think I really slept restfully until Boyfriend joined me around 3AM. Surprisingly, I feel pretty good today!
I woke up with no desire to eat. I'm determined to make this IF worthwhile and not end up whining about hunger at the end of the day. We haven't been able to stock up yet this week and are going tonight since we are completely out of food. If I'm totally desperate at the end of the day, there's 3 eggs that I didn't eat this morning waiting in the fridge. I think one of the reasons why my IFs are so difficult is because I probably don't eat enough on a regular basis and I get really bored in the evening so all I can think about is dinner.
I think the last time I ate last night was around 11pm, I nibbled on some nutella because I was hungry. I'm really looking forward to getting some sweet potatoes and/or fruit so I can have snacky stuff.
I signed up for [URL="http://paleoonabudget.com/2012/03/22/paleopax/"]this thing[/URL] so I can have a few paleo snacks/treats a month without going out of my way. Surprises like this are fun and I'm sure I'll use them all (eventually). It seemed like a good deal, about $4 or $5 per item depending on how many you get every month. I want me some paleo jerky!
I do have some dark chocolate I picked up the other day. It's a good thing I have those eggs, otherwise it would be all up in my belly when I get home.
I feel so wrapped up in the future right now, it's making the present seem so boring and slow. I'm looking forward to so much and wanting things so badly that I just don't want to be in the now. This hasn't happened for a while. Usually I get caught up in the past. I have to constantly remind myself of the now, that I am happy now, that there is so much I can do now. I've been very happy this week, think it might be the 5-HTP, but also extra sappy (moved to tears reading stuff online). I'll take that trade off.
-Fill up the scooter
-Get raw local honey!
-Get some snacks
-Filled up scooter
-Got some raw local honey (they didn't have the unfiltered kind I got last time, sadness, but I bet it's still pollen-y. forgot to take it this morning)
-Got some snacks (of the organic fruit variety)
Candidiasis symptoms: bladder pain & incontinence, painful & random tweaking of pelvic floor muscles, yeast-infection itchiness & some unusual discharge, more pimples on my chin & temples.
Causes: I had ice cream a few nights in a row, plus some chocolate, plus some fruit and an egg roll on Saturday (definitely had soybean oil, my mouth was itchy), plus donuts on Sunday. I'm not sure why it struck me as a good idea to go all out with this sugar stuff over the past few days. I'm definitely feeling it. I'm super frustrated that I'm still struggling with candida after two months on the probiotic and one month on the anti-candida supplement. There is no miracle cure, I know that, I just hoped my gut would recover by now.
Tea tree oil applied at least once a day is helping manage the pimples. I guess I should just throw out the rest of the ice cream because I know I won't be able to resist it. I already told Boyfriend not to let me have anymore donuts, and he'll probably finish them today anyway, so I know I'm safe there. I spent more money over the past few days than I should have, with ordering dinner out and getting treats. I'm probably still going to eat the fruit I got, candida be damned. I am just feeling a bit hopeless. I wish I could find an easier way to deal with this so I could tell my mom since she's dealt with chronic yeast infections her whole life, but she's pretty much screwed unless she goes sugar-free paleo and I doubt I could convince her of that. I'm on the hunt for success stories of menopausal women with improved allergies including asthma and/or arthritis so I can send those to her.
I'm pretty tired because I've been staying up late. I had very little motivation to get out of bed this morning and didn't make breakfast as a result (made lunch though), but I had a protein shake with a banana & my supplements). I feel a bit queasy & am pretty sure I could fall asleep quite comfortably at my desk. It's going to be a long day.
I expect the candidiasis (I really cannot figure out how to say that) symptoms will be gone by the end of the week if I don't cheat, even if I have a piece of fruit everyday. I have no one to blame but myself. I want my gut to be healed already. I know it's doing so much better than it was, with much less bloating when I cheat than I used to get, but these symptoms are pretty bad. I relate the pelvic floor muscle misbehavior with candida because I read it on one of many candida treatment websites, and it makes sense considering the high # of yeast infections I had in college & when I noticed that kind of pain & incontinence (at the same time in college).
This morning was the first time I felt like I could really see what the kettlebell exercises have done for me. My shoulders, chest muscles, & arms are much more defined. I like the shape I've got going so far. I feel like it balances out my bottom much better and I don't feel pear-shaped anymore despite my small bust. I'm even pretty sure that my bum is getting more defined because of the way that my bikini bottom fits. It's still super loose, as it always has been, even last summer when a Large seemed like it would fit, but it feels loose in a different way than it did when I was this weight before. I think I'm just about as lean as I was in college or high school, but the extra weight is muscle, finally. I'm looking forward to seeing what other changes come about with continued exercises. I wonder when I'll be able to increase the KB weight? 15lbs is still enough, considering the low # of reps I can handle on my left side with it. and I wonder what it will take to have visible abs of any kind. I think more than having a "bikini ready body", I really just want one that fits me well without constant wedgies and tugging. I'm not convinced that exists.
[url=http://namelessw0nder.blogspot.com/2012/03/link-action.html]Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Link action![/url]
Oh I forgot to mention my weekend fitness stuff! Some KB swings & such, did some of those bent-over rows or something? One knee & hand on the steamer trunk that serves as a coffee table, opposite arm pulls KB up, repeat. Swap sides. I did some lame ab stuff, but will have to spend more time on those because I get worn out quickly and then can do more. I don't like doing sets, but they work well for getting house work done. Do a set, vacuum the living room, do another set, vacuum the dining room, do another set, sweep somewhere, etc. That lets me recover without being bored. Maybe I'll do that tonight, our rugs need vacuuming.
Anyway I ran this weekend! "WTF is this shit?!" I know. It was about .6 miles from the train station to the apartment. Boyfriend made me jog with him, pretty slowly. I was wearing my new moccasin-type shoes so I ran kind of flat footed. My feet felt fine. My legs felt a bit leaden after. My lungs fucking hate running. My heart did not feel as absurd as it would have a year ago. I hate hate hate running, but I got through it and was proud for it. Will I go running regularly? Probably not. Should I? Probably. I could use better lung capacity and more cardio in my life, to be honest. I wish I could swim, but it's just not practical with the scooter and the chlorine and the showers etc. etc. etc.
I think I'm going to wash my hair with an egg on Wednesday morning. I'm hoping Boyfriend doesn't catch me because it's going to be mildly embarrassing. I'm intrigued though! My hair feels a lot better now than it did right after washing, I think the scum from the BS reaction to the hard water finally washed away. I reaaalllyyy need a small boar brush to bring to work for post-helmet hair.
My hair feels even better and cleaner today, and of course, tomorrow would be the one week point from last wash. The trouble with doing an egg wash now is we've turned off the heat in the apartment and it's rather cold this week so I'm more inclined to take a hot shower. I'm not sure if the temperature I used this morning (which was unfortunately as warm as it would go and it wasn't very warm) is hot enough to scramble the eggs, which I [i]don't[/i] want to happen. I've read of people going 10 days between washes. I could wait till Saturday to be all squeaky clean for my tattoo, I guess. I don't know, we'll see. Being lazy helps ;) I think the musty smell has calmed down, finally, but I'm hesitant to ask Boyfriend to sniff my head.
There's a challenge over on the Fitness forum about moving more when you work a desk job. I love the idea, but I just get bored walking around the building (too cold for me to feel like going outside). "It hardly seems worth it" so I don't do it. I should be going up and down the stairs once an hour, at least, but then I'm afraid of using that as a time-tracker, which will make the day pass so much more slowly. The mornings are so much easier to get through.
I took 3 (usually take 2) of my C. Away capsules this morning. I will keep a higher dose for the rest of the week and I think this will work rather than resorting to that dose of anti-fungal I have in the cabinet from my yeast infection in December (from the antibiotics I took in case I had a sinus infection, now I know better!). I'm going to be hard pressed to take antibiotics ever again considering my sensitivity to yeast and how easily I "get infected". I did finish the ice cream last night, and had some chocolate after. I wasn't even really hungry and didn't want to finish the chocolate, but didn't feel like I could leave it either (it was only part of 1 square). I felt surprisingly full having 3 eggs over easy with my supplements this morning, that's unusual for me. Maybe as a result of last night's protein heavy dinner plus the ice cream? It wasn't much, I'd mostly finished it the night before. Meh, who knows, don't feel like speculating. Getting through today without lunch is going to be tough.