Okay, I guess I updated enough over the weekend, so here's today's thoughts and plans for the week.
Food: Fairly on track, still allowing treats here and there. I am finding they bother me less and less physically as I don't let them bother me mentally. Mostly, I opt for the gluten-free options anyway. Hulky and I used up a $100 gift card (from Verizon for adjusting our plan to epic internet speeds for no more expense) this weekend eating out and going to the movies (Pain & Gain was really really terrible, we walked out)! Totally worth it. I had ice cream and cookies this weekend. Hulky helped me back gluten-free cookies last night and the honey (1/3 cup, recipe calls for total of 3/4 white and brown sugar!) made them suuupper sweet. I only had two small ones last night and got a headache! I forgot to bring some to work today, but that means I get to have some tonight.
Meat is not on sale this week so that is making the grocery budget kind of rough, but I think I can make it work until the 10th. I also need to get more cat food. I have to get a different kind because Fae suddenly stopped liking the stuff I've been getting. Too bad, because it was grain-free and one pack was $0.99 and lasted for two meals (one day).
Sleep: Been sleeping better lately. Struggling to stay on my back, but that is how my back feels best. Sometimes, I wake up and want to roll over, but it always hurts my shoulders or upper back in the morning.
Body: I should be able to bike after work, then make dinner, and get groceries & cat food after. Going to be a busy night!
Mood/brain: Since my period came and went (very short!), my mood has improved greatly. Therapy was good last Friday. I feel like I'm able to sort through stuff as it happens now. Sometimes, it takes a little longer (dealing with the marathon bombings), but I'm still able to identify the thoughts and moods and wait them out or deal with them appropriately.
Iron Man 3 comes out this weekend, woohoo!
Great. We just got billed for oil. I didn't think they were filling us up anymore because they didn't come at the start of the month.
When you ride the hills, do you drop down in gears as you go up the hill? Some people don't know to do this.
Yes, but I can't peddle fast enough to keep going up the hills (these are rather small, but very steep hills). Swerving makes it easier, but I can't do that with traffic and there's not enough room on the sidewalks. Plus it's probably illegal to ride on the sidewalks in that town.
If I stay in a lower gear, I can stand and pedal, but my thighs give out before I get to the top. It's just going to take time and I am frustrated.
Also really pissed about the oil bill. I guess I should have called the company and told them not to deliver anymore this season. At least the tank is totally filled for fall, assuming we stay here. Hulky's parents' neighbor is moving out. His mom is in a home now so he's going to rent his house to make some money. The second floor apartment has 4 bedrooms, so if we got 2 friends to join us (another room for computers, probably), it would be $550/mo for each of us, before utilities. That's $200 less than Hulky and I contribute to rent now :). We have two friends that might be interested, but one might not want to move out of Boston. I'm nervous about sharing an apartment with other people again, but it'd be a great way to save some more money for a year or two.
Today, I should find out if my mom is buying the scooter or not. If not, I'm hunting down my title tonight and listing it ASAP. I could use some of the money to pay for the oil bill, much as I'd rather put it into savings & towards Hulky's car loan.
I don't know if it was the anxiety about practicing biking to work during rush hour, but I started to feel pretty sick on the way home. Got home, ate two cookies, feel slightly better, but not enough that I want to risk biking. I feel nauseated. I didn't have much for lunch, it just wasn't appealing halfway through. I wonder if the chicken had gone bad over the weekend.
I'm going to have some water with ACV, a sweet potato and watch Buffy.
sorry you feel yucky.......... hope its better by now.
The anxiety got pretty bad last night. I shut down to deal with it. I eventually dragged myself off the couch to get cat food and then made dinner (made enough for lunches, too). I ate about 1/2 of my batch of gluten-free cookies and my stomach actually didn't feel worse, though I got a headache. I ate a sweet potato after and couldn't finish it. Later, I had painful gas that caused me to have a hard time falling asleep and woke me up early. Did not help that the cat was curled up on my stomach.
Fae got tired of the wet food I was buying. I'm trying a new canned food and she seemed to like it this morning. I have a connection at the local pet store (from my HS graduating class) and he gave me $5 off my purchase, plus a coupon for $5 off my next purchase of $25 or more. Nice guy. I really wish I could get Fae back to raw food, or maybe a mix of raw & wet food so she is still getting the benefits of raw without missing out on any nutrients. I just couldn't deal with her vomiting randomly anymore. Part of it is just making sure that she eats slowly enough. Feeding her with kibble & wet food may be more expensive, but she seems pretty healthy and is still losing weight, I think.
My mom did not get back to me about the scooter yesterday so I think she forgot to ask my sister's fiance about it. I didn't get around to locating the title last night or this morning, so I will wait to list it. I think I'm going to ask for $800, but I don't expect to get that much with it needing a tune-up, probably a carb flush, and probably new brakes. I don't have the energy to think about doing a carb flush with my dad's help, let alone do it. I feel stressed about not having the spare cash to get a radiator and trying to locate one at a junk yard. We need one for a Ford Ranger ('85-'94, 2.3L 4 cyl) because for some reason a Mustang radiator won't fit.
I feel a bit clearer-headed this morning and am just going to focus on biking at least 3 nights during the week for now, even if it's not the route to work. I realized that I've been having a hard time remembering how much 5-HTP I take every night. I usually remember the first dose of 100mg, but am not always remembering to take it when I get home from work around 5PM, and do not always remember the second dose of 50mg. Or I can't remember if I have taken it already. I will just have to keep to a schedule of 5PM and 10PM to make sure I take it. That will be when I get home and either exactly when I go to bed or 30 min before, which should be fine.
I slept poorly last night, from the gas and because we switched back to the main bed. Definitely going back to the other one tonight, but Hulky was staying up a little on the computer so I couldn't fall asleep in there. I still feel a bit irritated about that.
Wedding stuff: I made our "wedsite" and honeymoon registry yesterday, with input from Hulky. Both sites are pretty simple, but I think they look nice enough. There's plenty of space for me to add more information and adjust them as needed. I just hope people can handle the photo aspect. I have a page set up for sharing photos with an email address for them to send the pictures to. That will upload the pictures to my Flickr account, where I can download them to put on the wedsite or get printed. I wish I didn't have to wait more than 2 months until I can show people the sites! Now I just need to come up with a program/print-out with our wedsite info and to serve as a notice that we got married (to send to family that couldn't make it). Vistaprint has some great deals and I think I can either get some "programs" printed for under $50 at very nice quality, or print them as post cards (I can move the text on the back so it's centered and not actually a functional postcard) for about $30, but then we'd have 100, which is way more than we need.
Wow, I'm honestly surprised. Sister's fiancÚ wants the scooter. My mom will pay me for it. I don't know how much to ask for! She said she'd pay in installments. Maybe I can ask her to pay the oil bill and then my hospital bills.
I paid $1800 for it in 2011, brand new. I've put just under 1900 miles on it (wow, all from commuting and driving around town!).
(I'd take a spare program...)
I'll let you guys know when we have that stuff figured out. Maybe I'll bike to Staples tonight and talk to someone at the Copy & Print center about pricing while laundry is going.
I like the idea of having a photo of us on it (postcard format would allow for this), but that requires having a decent photo. Best photo is from Liz's wedding, but not sure if it's okay to use somebody else's photo like that (Liz sent me an un-watermarked copy for my own printing purposes).
NW, Have you tried Gaba or L-theanine with 5htp in the evening? I have had some bad anxiety nights this last week. It made a huge difference in my sleep. I am taking a product called Theanine serene. which has Gaba in it.