Therapy was good, I felt good in it, though we talked about a lot of things that made me uncomfortable and embarrassed. I'm glad we have such a good rapport. My therapist can basically ask me anything at any point and I am willing to dig into it, even if the answer isn't easy to find. We talked about sex. I knew it was going to come up eventually and I've avoided it so far. Anything that bothers me is, I feel, fair game and a good topic for therapy, and I've definitely had some issues with sex esp. in regards to my low libido over the years.
It wasn't until after my session today that I felt really stressed out and kind of sad. Hulky is comforting me over email. I feel like I have not been able to recover entirely from jury duty, but that is probably also from questionable hormones and such right now.
I felt bloated this AM and didn't have breakfast. Not wise. I had my orange slices before my appointment. Time for soup and leftover garlic-parm fries. I hope the fries heat up okay because they were DELICIOUS.
I took 150mg of 5-HTP last night. We got to bed a bit late because we watched Stardust, at my request. I pretend proposed to Hulky with the pizza box. We need to get his ring finger sized so I can save up for a training-ring for him (not really an engagement ring, just something so he can get used to wearing one). I want to get a silver spinning ring.
Hey lady! Sorry you've been down. But glad you are talking it out with a therapist! Such a special young woman, self aware and working out your issues young! Be impressed with yourself, because I sure am!
Thanks, Kymma. Such a sweetheart :).
I baked some chicken thighs last night, after marinading for a couple hours in fish sauce, coconut aminos, olive oil and various spices. That's my favorite way to bake 'em. It was loosely adapted from a Nom Nom Paleo recipe for drumsticks, I think, but I never have everything that she recommends. Fish sauce and coconut aminos probably sounds like a really weird combination, but it's very good.
Gut stuff: For experimental purposes, I bought a box of a laxitive tea (with senna). It was chocolate flavored, but tasted just kind of like bark. Not bitter, just earthy. Not something I would pick for flavor, anyway. It gave me some pretty awful cramps last night, overnight (woke me up) and this morning. TMI - I didn't have a BM until this morning, after I took my vitamin C, colostrum, l-glutamine, and probiotic. It was not a good consistency, but not [I]too[/I] loose, at least. My gut felt better after that. It seemed like the BM needed those supplements (or maybe just water) in order to actually happen. The tea alone was not enough.
I won't be trying the tea again tonight because we're having a party. We didn't realize that tomorrow is St Patrick's Day until last weekend (planned this party about a month ago) so I suddenly realized we'll need the makings for Irish Car Bombs (not a nice name for a drink, you'll get kicked out of bars in Boston if you ask for one) and Incredible Hulks (it's a green drink). We're ordering wings from a local establishment and they have the best waffle fries ever.
This morning, I chatted with my mom for a bit while collecting sheets from their house (and dropping off some more). I had some gluten-free toast with butter and earl grey with a splash of Trader Joe's carton coconut milk. It was a very soothing mini-breakfast. Tea and toast is just one of those classic morning-chat meals to me. Just like coffee and cigarettes, but only in the silverscreen films :-p.
DUDES. I tried regular push-ups last night and I CAN DO 3!!! I can't do down as far as I'd like yet, my arms collapse when I try, but it's progress! I'm so proud! I got up to 40 assisted push-ups in a work-out (several sets, was able to do 10 at a time for at least two sets) in prior nights. Next goal is 10 regular push-ups :D.
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI&feature=share]P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess - YouTube[/url]
P!nk has an amazing body. I need to listen to more of her music. I remember liking her music from what I've heard on the radio over the years, but I've never really gone out of my way to listen to more.
OMG P!nk is my favorite. All of her songs speak to me.
Congrats on the push ups!
I really love P!nk's work. I have a handful of her stuff that works when I'm in a funk or feeling off about myself.
I have no idea what's going on in your thread/life right now, but I had to share this with you: [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a93l0uWTA4]Misha Collins & Jensen Ackles in a "When Harry Met Sally" scene (Jus in Bello 2011) - YouTube[/url]
BTW- you might have claimed dibs on Jensen, but Misha is all mine!
You can have Misha. Dean and Hulky are somehow very much alike in my mind so I am happy with my choice :D.
Adorable bunny for your Sunday evening.
The party last night was great. I felt inclined to get pretty plastered, so I did, and ended up puking, but was already in bed at that point and was conscious enough to feebly call for a bucket. Someone (yet to be identified from those in attendance) brought me a bowl and fetched Hulky, who came in just in time to stroke my head and empty the bowl. I passed out after that. I know I woke at some point to pee and undress (Hulky had put me in jammies when he tucked me in <3), but otherwise was in bed till noon. We're feeling kind of slow and groggy today, but no headache, so all in all, not a bad hangover.
We went out for Mexican for brunch and will be living off the leftover wings for the next few days, so my lunches and dinners may not end up being very primal.
[QUOTE=namelesswonder;1128319]DUDES. I tried regular push-ups last night and I CAN DO 3!!! :D.[/QUOTE]
Good job on the lever/fulcrum experiment!
and the horizontal hurlling!
Supplements: I have stayed at 150mg of 5-HTP (down from 200) for the past several nights. I am not sure if it's the right dose right now. I felt okay for the first few nights and right now I'm not sure if I'm still in hangover-recovery mode or it's not right. I wonder if it would be bad to alternate doses every other night so it averages to 175mg. I drank the Senna-based tea again last night, sharp cramps this morning before it took effect. I run out of colostrum today and am not sure if I want to get more. I think I'll finish my 1-2 week trial with the Senna tea first. I doubt it'll fix everything all of a sudden, but hey, it's worth a shot. I am going to need more 5-HTP soon either way.
Energy: I've had an increasingly difficult time dragging myself up the 3 flights of stairs to work for the past week. I wonder how much of that is hormones and how much is related to inadequate sleep. I don't want to try Vitex again until never-ending shark visitation is over (closing in on 2 months in just a couple of days). I don't feel dizzy so the doctor does not seem inclined to think that it's iron-related.
Doctor: May be going to the doctor again today or tomorrow. My gyn wants to pick some other doctor's brain about what the hell is happening to me. I'm feeling increasingly frustrated with her. Seems like she's not acting when she could, but what do I know? I feel like the next step is an ultrasound to make sure the relevant organs look okay. She has mentioned this and I'm not sure why it hasn't happened yet.
Mood/brain: Brain is kind of sluggish today. I had an easy time waking up, but I feel very tired now. I didn't get to bed quite on time and I woke up around 1AM worrying about Hulky. I summoned him away from the Starcraft II expansion he just started playing and got him to come to bed. Maybe 150mg of 5-HTP would be okay if I wasn't doing the Senna tea, or this is just from the bad food I had this weekend. I usually don't wake up at all, and definitely not worrying, when I take the right dose of 5-HTP. I'll give it a few more nights. I started narrating a journal post in my head this morning while getting ready, which I'm finding means I'm not in tip-top shape, mentally.
Food: Need to get more fruit & sweet potatoes tonight, and maybe another dozen eggs. Will try to get organic apples, at the very least. Oranges and bananas, I'm not as worried about. I didn't eat breakfast because of the cramping/bloated feeling, but now I'm very hungry. I will need to go out to get more to eat with my leftover wings, but for now, I'm just focusing on hydrating.
Wedding: We chatted with my parents yesterday. My dad said they could contribute about $5k, and to use that as kind of a guideline, but if in our research & talking to venues we find that might not be enough, we should talk to my parents about it before ruling anything out. This is very relieving. We have some homework to do. We are going to make a list of a hypothetical event, what it might entail, and propose it to our #1 venue choice to see if she can give us a rough quote for pricing. We need to refine the guest list a bit first and determine how many people are being invited vs. how many we think will actually attend (both of our mothers' extended family will not come), since there's a price per head at this place, and it's important for catering as well. I just wish Hulky and I had more time to talk about this kind of stuff during the week. Doesn't work so well over email and we are both too tired in the evening.