[QUOTE=GoJenGo;1097255]Hey, namelesswonder! Just wanted to tell you congratulations on your engagement. Very happy for you![/QUOTE]
Ya know, I was going to mention Jenny Trout when I saw she was reviewing Buffy. Then I saw that you had the first comment. She's a trip, isn't she? And now I have to re-watch episode 1.
Jenny Trout rocks my socks. She pretty much articulated everything I was thinking/feeling about the early Buffy episodes.
I'm polishing off my avocado-chocolate pudding today. The fiber seems to be doing good things to my digestive system. Wish it wasn't, because it has rather um... voluminous effects.
We're going to a matinee of Die Hard today :). $6 movie tickets, woot! I might have popcorn.
Die Hard was wonderfully bad. Definitely worth it. As Hulky said, "Bruce Willis plays a really good Bruce Willis." The last scene of the movie: EPIC CHEESE (not the edible kind).
Bruce is basically my dad's Hollywood idol. I think it might be the lack of hair.
I have had the equivalent of 2.5 avocados today. Am I going to die? So delicious. I should really eat some protein though. I have a massive headache. I realized today that I don't often eat breakfast on the weekends and I wonder how much that affects the anxiety I have been experiencing at the same time.
This chocolate craving has been lingering for weeks now. I WANT TO FULFILL IT. We're ordering wings tonight. We invited some friends over, last minute, but I think only Chip (H's big bro) will show up. That's cool, we have fun together! I want to watch Skyfall again.
The Civic has fresh transmission fluid & a fixed engine mount, but we just realized we can't afford the extra gas for a trip to Maine this month. Motherfucking SIGHS UP IN HERE.
I think I've got a case of cabin fever. 'Tis snowing and I feel antsy.
My toes are still getting worse. Itching is increasing, one of the toes is going red again. Pissed off. What am I going to do, go back to the doctor for stronger antibiotics that didn't seem to do anything the first time? I'm still using the silver ointment & tea tree oil and the infection came back in spite of that.
I am full of gas and wish I knew a way to release it because it's not coming out on its own!
Next time you down 2.5 WHOLE avos... down some Beano too?
Got any Gas-ex?
You are so going to stink Hulky out of the apartment.
I suggest a dutch oven later since he sleeps with his head covered. ;)
Nah, gas just gets stuck in me. He's gassy too. Think it might've been the wings & waffle fries we had.
These are thoughts kind of for Pebbles67. I'm a little tipsy, so pardon any typos that I miss. Hopefully this will make enough sense.
[B]When I'm feeling really dark and really awful (mentally)[/B], the key for me is to remember that I am not in my right mind. However I'm feeling is not [I]normal[/I], for me. Normal for other people? Screw that, that's their own gauge to measure. I only know what's right and wrong with me. If I'm feeling "wrong", I know it's time to find a distraction. It's not time to make any major decisions.
[B]Can't vs. don't want to:[/B] Is it that I [I]can't[/I] do what will help me (find something to do to distract myself from the dark thoughts) or is it that I don't want to? Most of the time, I don't want to. Usually, thinking to myself, "I just don't want to" is enough to get myself to do something. If I overwhelmingly feel like I [I]just can't do it[/I], it's time to find a safe way to get myself through that period. Sometimes, that just means sleeping it off. [B]Talking to someone almost always helps, no matter how awkward I might feel about it.[/B] Usually, I don't even have to talk about whatever is bothering me most. Sometimes, that's actually the best tactic.
Thank You. All of the above is true for me right now and often in the past. I fear that you all will eventually give up on me.
A Psychologist at an Eating Disorders Hospital wrote in my file. "Paula needs to learn that our feelings are not always an accurate reflection of reality."
Yes, my life is tough in many ways, but I am not helping myself by abandoning an eating plan that helps me or wallowing in self pity.
It doesn't matter what we do, just that you do not give up on yourself. Finding it in yourself that you truly believe you are worth the effort...that is the hardest part of the journey, in my opinion.