Our document signing was a part of the post-wedding photography activities.
Nooo energy is faadddinnnggg
Maybe I can stretch the apples one more day. Or I just won't make applesauce this year because I feel stretched thin by everyday life. That's not a good way to be.
Getting emotional. Blargh.
Just toss them in a crockpot! Seriously! I made applesauce that was killer with just apples and cinnamon cut up and placed in a crockpot on low. Set on the "warm" setting at bedtime and the next morning I had amazing applesauce! I chopped the apples into 1 inch pieces. Stir occasionally before you reduce the heat (which helps to break up the apples). If you want less chunky, take a mixer or stick blender to it the next day. It's beautiful and absolutely delicious! And VERY little work.
It's not the sauce making that's difficult, it's the canning. Also, some of the apples don't break down at the same rate as others. With the 3 1/2 jars I made last week, I had to put it in the blender because I didn't want it chunky. With the rest of the apples, there's too much to put it all in the blender at once, so I'd have to fill lots of bowls in order to blend in batches, then put it all back in the pot to heat up again etc. etc. Lots of extra steps. I don't have a stick blender.
This is just feeling like another thing that I keep saying, "I'll do it tonight! I'll do it tomorrow!... Maybe on the weekend." and then I never do it and feel guilty. Same thing is happening with Boyfriend's Christmas present. I'm going to get him jars for baking supplies, but I don't think I'm going to personalize them. I feel bad.
I was gonna post this on FB, but then I decided I wasn't feeling *that* whiny:
Blagh. It's not a good feeling, feeling guilty for not using (edible) gifts before they go bad (at least I gave some applesauce to my godfather before I wussed out and gave up). I don't want to make any Christmas presents anymore. Feeling overwhelmed by everyday things makes the extraordinary incredibly daunting.
Home today. Thought I'd give myself a day to sleep. Something is off. I've got heartburn. I just want comfort food. I REALLY wanted a croissant this morning. Feeling very "WTF does it matter, might as well give up at this point" but I don't want to ruin my chances of progress. I mean, just dropping to 2g of Vitamin C within the past week or two is a HUGE change. I dropped the dose by about half.
Low stomach acid is one of those things I haven't investigated yet so I'm thinking of picking up some HCL with Pepsin. I just want to poop normally! Is that so much to ask?!
I just want to eat junk. I want cookies. I want ice cream. When I think of the actual flavor of everything, I imagine getting a headache immediately so it becomes less appealing. What are these cravings about?! Where did they come from?!
I feel your pain with the cravings. I'm having similar problems.
cravings............ I look at this way: If I'm craving junk food - its emotional. If I'm craving healthy food - its physical. Our bodies don't tell us to eat crap.
Maybe try to find something besides food to satisfy whats happening in your brain. Do something today that will make you feel really good about yourself.
:) happy thoughts!
I ate a bunch of chocolate chips (dairy/soy/gluten/nut free, so there's that, at least). I ate a clementine. Then I sat in front of Charmed, peeling and chopping apples. Half are in the crock pot, the other half are on the stove. We'll see what happens. I'm still dying for more carbs. I'll probably have a sweet potato soon and then shove some eggs down my throat so I get some protein in.
Thanks, Jenn, for the push to just deal with the apples. I am feeling wobbly today, in mind and spirit, but somehow the applesauce became doable. The canning is pretty easy, the prep just takes a long time. I'll need to get the jars in the dishwasher later to sterilize. I should get the big pot heated up with water so it doesn't take as long when I need to seal the jars. I feel good about having the crisper drawer empty. I am doing this for myself. I have the power to make myself feel better. If I make enough applesauce, I'm hoping to send some to my mom's mom (in IL). We don't talk hardly at all, but it would be nice to reach out to her a bit more, I think. Especially thinking about a wedding in the future. I haven't seen her in over 10 years.
I am thinking about going to the hardware store for jars & window sheets, but we'll see. I'm also thinking about maybe getting Boyfriend a [URL="http://shirt.woot.com/offers/the-epic-begins"]silly t-shirt[/URL] or [URL="http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/ea63/?srp=5"]pint glass[/URL] (with all the Avengers). I am building up a new Vitacost cart. I am on my last bottle of 5-HTP again. I'm not sure I want to get more oil or oregano or Pau D'arco. I think I'm going to boost the dose with those. If that helps, I'm finishing the bottles and asking for antibiotics. If it doesn't, I'm going to increase the dose of Vitex, since that's the other thing I boosted around the time that my Vitamin C dose was able to be decreased. If THAT doesn't (after a week or two), I'm going back to the doc to beg for testing or something, because I'm tired of wasting all this money on supplements that just keep the problem at bay.
*Trigger warning* I guess? Maybe? Might as well slap it on there since this features blood.
Blood never used to bother me much. I don't like seeing wounds in movies or anything, but I don't get squicked out seeing them in real life. Then again, I've never seen anything that bad up close. I sliced my finger tip while peeling apples (don't worry, no bloody apples). I held my finger away for a little while and then realized it was bleeding a lot about going to drip so I went to the bathroom to rinse it. It didn't hurt at all. Not sure if that was just me or the location. I wrapped it up for a little bit, then put some (bandage) tape around the slice. I felt kind of queasy looking at the blood in the sink. That's never happened to me before. I felt weird when I saw it. I'm not sure how to describe the emotions. It made me feel a little like cutting, but there's absolutely no part of me that's trying to rationalize that activity right now. There's no reason for it, so I was kind of like, "Huh. That's a stupid response," and I brushed it away. I guess that's good, it just feels weird. It's different. And a bit scary.
Just got a bunch of clementines. Maybe the dreary weather is pushing our cravings? I've doubled up on D lately. Know what you mean about wobbly, mind and spirit, have felt that way for a while now.
I cut the fucking hell out of my left index finger ~10 years ago. Chef's knife got slippery, and a piece of fingertip the size of a contact lens comes off, bleeding like mad. Didn't go to the doc, over the protestations of Mrs. FW, just bandaged it up. Thought for sure that digit would be truncated, slightly stumpy. Rather amazingly, it did grow back, the only visible sign being a small spot where the fingerprint looks worn smooth. Weirdest damned thing.
Reading your account of the cut made me woozy though. I have to go pass out now.