Nameless, do you have a quiet park anywhere near your home? Maybe a nice quiet walk whenever you get the chance may help your mood.
My acupuncturist recommended I take a 30 minute walk every evening to hemp with my anger/anxiety issues.
There is one by my parents' house that I've visited frequently for my whole life, but not for a while. Sometimes I bring their dog with me, but she gets too excited and my hands hurt by the end with all her pulling (normally I'm pretty good at curbing this behavior with her). It would be a nice change of pace, and better than just a stroll around the neighborhood (getting taunted by all those apartments around me grrr).
It's weird. I only started manifesting my anxiety as anger this year. Before it always went to sadness or I just kept it in. I never considered myself an angry person before.
awwww .... I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix it all for you. I really don't have any advise for most of the things that are bothering you but here are two things to think about ...
1) I know you really liked the apartment but it's just an apartment. Soon enough, wherever you move (and you will find something) it will be filled with your dirty laundry, a stack on mail you need to get around to opening, desperately in need of a vacuum, and you start hating it just a little.
2) You are [I]not [/I]failing in terms of living a primal lifestyle. Yeah, you are not 100% - but most people aren't. I'm not. [I]You don't need to be perfect [/I] - it's an unrealistic expectation and, IMHO, perfect sounds pretty boring. Please don't be boring. Take each hour and every day one at a time and try to find some wonder and joy in it. This is a life journey not an exam.
Now, don't forget to go outside and [COLOR="RoyalBlue"]enjoy[/COLOR] the sun/clouds/rain/heat/cold/whatever mother nature has decided to throw your way.
1. We've been looking for almost a year now so it's hard not to get frustrated. The housing market just blows around here and I wish people could just see us for the awesome couple we are and accept that we are willing to make financial sacrifices in other areas to afford our rent. I want my own space to hate! haha
2. I still feel discouraged in general, but less dangerously volatile at the moment. I got a surge of energy from being angry, I think, so I've been browsing forums and bouncing my legs. GAWD my leg hurts from that cramp last night. I've never thought of myself as a perfectionist either, but I guess in many ways I am. Expecting this much of myself is not realistic and does not make me happy.
I hope my leg feels better for some swimming and hiking this weekend. Working out driving details with my friend from school. Unfortunately I have to make the 4+ hr drive back home alone =(
Anger can be good. Anger can be powerful.
The question is, what are you going to do with that power?
Become Hulk-ess (which is fitting because my boyfriend likes the Incredible Hulk and people used to make a pun off his last name and call him Hulk-omb instead of Holcomb...and he's small haha)! But seriously. I used to write well when in intense moods, but now I find that I feel too overwhelmed by the moods to do that.
Headache, feeling sick. Probably too much almond butter. Just wasn't in the mood for tuna. Waiting to sneak out of work at 5... Might walk to my parents house for dinner with my sister, 2.2 miles, half up hill, but I am very tired and want to finish watching Fat Head tonight so I can get out of bed in the morning. Getting up has been really hard recently.
GRAH and I just got my period. Again. I had it a couple weeks ago, at the wrong time, and now it's either my natural period from not taking the pill for about a week now, or because of the "plan B" pill I took last week >< We got a little too exuberant... Not looking forward to bringing my bleedy-self up to the lake house now.
The good news , as both going primal and getting off birth control will screw up your schedule, you are smart enough to be doing it all at once.
A few thoughts...
If you get an IUD, it will likely make your periods worse. Mine are 2.5 days shorter on average since I got rid of my IUD, and they're lighter too.
The leg cramps could be from a shortage of potassium. If low potassium's the culprit, eating a banana a day will help.
Plan B can make you overly emotional and yucky-feeling and aggressive. If you're going to use birth control that requires active compliance, please get a copy of [URL="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060881909/ref=asc_df_00608819091644937?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=asn&creative=395093&creativeASIN=0060881909"]Taking Charge of Your Fertility[/URL] so that you can educate yourself on being aware of when you're fertile and not run the risk of getting pregnant until you're ready. It wouldn't surprise me if some of your moods are due to hormones, so if you start charting your cycles you may notice a pattern. Not that it makes the moods themselves any better, but sometimes knowing the cause can help a bit.
Oh god yeah I didn't think of how Plan B would affect me. I've had to take it before, again, a situation where we got a little too exuberant. I have to get used to using condoms again =\ I'll check that book out, I deifnitely like the idea of being in tune with my body in that way. But my periods were infinitely shorter, lighter and better when I was on the pill, even when I was having 2 periods a month, so I don't see why an IUD would make that worse.
OW OW OW I burnt my pinkie really badly on my scooter when I was putting the cover on right after riding it. FUCKING OW. The bottle of Adult Chocolate Milk is trying to cool it but it still hurts a shit ton. Oh right, I have an ice pack in the freezer..
A copper IUD would make your periods worse, Mirena with hormone will help. Last time I had 1 I did not have a period at all