Yeah the spot is right were the top ball kind of hits my skin, so maybe a ring would be better, but for now I'm going to let it heal up. I never cared for navel piercings much but I wanted something discreet (and nipple piercings are out [for now]). From everything you've described, it sounds like a ring makes more sense for the initial healing period, logically, anyway. I've read a lot on various healing procedures and the rest of my piercings (nostril, ear lobes, ear cartilage, eyebrow) all did fine with just saline solution, but the skin is pretty different on my belly so perhaps I will try anti-bacterial or castille soap next time, if there is a next time.
I couldn't really rotate the hardware as the barbell is curved, but I did more it up and down while cleaning. So again, makes more sense to have the ring for healing, from what you described. I didn't want to take it out because I felt like it was a waste of money and many months of frustration (from not ever healing), but I got it pierced so long ago, it really doesn't matter.
[QUOTE=namelesswonder;824972]Money is not good [I]to me[/I], then, because I cannot afford things like grass-fed meat and shower filters[....] Money is the source of most of my stress right now and it does me no good to dwell on it, so that's all I'm saying on the matter right now. [/QUOTE]
Money is only a means of exchange. It is the most desirable good, and while it may have other purposes it's main purpose it to allow you to exchange something with someone who doesn't need what you have. Like, you want a fish but the fisherman does not not need a fish's worth of interior decoration doing (or whatever). Using money facilitates multiple intermediate steps on trades, so everyone is much more likely to get what they want. It is a [I]good[/I] thing.
You don't have enough money probably because you aren't making enough trade goods any presumably have too high running costs. It is not money itself that is your problem, it is lack of goods.
BTW, well done for pulling out your belly button ring! They look awful and I can easily see how it would lead to infection. Not like somewhere basically external and harmless like the earlobe.
But we don't live in a world that uses the barter system as a primary means of economy. I see what you're saying, I just don't like it and I don't care to have a discussion about it either.
And then, I had my annual performance review yesterday and got a raise. A really good one, based on the percentage system they usually use (3-5% on average...I got 12%). Partially it's because I'm going to be doing more going forward than I have been so far, and I'm picking up responsibilities that other Help Desk folks don't normally do just because of the way our office is. So I pretty much instantly felt much less stressed about $$ and that actually frustrates me! Part of it is just my mind's habit of hanging on to things that I'm used to, including/mostly bad habits (frustration over good things because it's change and there are yet more variables to take into consideration), and part of it is simply because I need to accept that "more money" is not going to be the solution. The solution is acceptance of my situation and just dealing with it. I can manage this, from time to time, just not this week, apparently.
I can't quite figure out the math to determine how the raise will affect my income paycheck to paycheck, and I might have to wait 4 weeks to see the change (raise is retroactive to the 30th, bi-weekly paycheck is offset by 2 weeks, but the request was just approved this week). I like to know so I can at least pretend I will know how much money I have to work with for the month, and try to plan accordingly. As it stands right now, no grocery shopping until tomorrow, but we are having a friend over and I really hope he can pitch in a little. Spending fast = engaged!
Recently I've been trying to stand up for myself. It starts in small places, like basically telling Facebook "Fuck you, I'm posting whatever Paleo-related shit I want because it interests me and I'm not going to let other people bother me about it because they can un-friend or unsubscribe if it bothers them." And a bunch of people were all (genuinely) "Good for you" and it felt good to know I have support. Then, this morning, I posted something about Paleo again and suddenly felt so nervous about it. "Maybe I should take it down..." Somebody commented "OMG SHUT UP ABOUT PALEO (just kidding)" and my heart started racing before I even finished reading it! I guess my stress this week isn't helping, so I clicked out of FB for a while and am feeling better, but still vary cautious. I don't want to worry about what I say so much, but I know I have a tendency to come off heavy-handed if I'm not careful enough. Is that so wrong to worry about that? It seems like the healthier version of "worrying about what EVERYONE thinks of me". Yet another example of "did not have a great example to model myself after while growing up and now I'm freaking the fuck out trying to figure out 'Is this right?'"
In other news, I hope Trader Joe's has decent Greek Yogurt because the Stop & Shop only has Chobani non-fat and a brand based out of VT (makes cheese too, can't remember the name). The full-fat VT-brand has trans fat in it, though the ingredients looked fine! The ingredients looked fine on the low-fat one, the sugar increase wasn't much, and there was no trans fat, so I picked that one up, but it doesn't taste nearly as good, even with raw local honey. I don't have lunch today, but with the way my brain is going, I really wish I did. I don't want more dairy (had yogurt this morning), otherwise I'd pick up some cottage cheese on my break.
Okay, brain, time to focus on how to feel better. Yesterday I did some squats & bent-over rows and felt pretty good about it. I spent some me-time watching Hellboy II with Fae and cleansing some stones at my little altar setup. It felt right. Boyfriend made dinner at my request, since he didn't cook Monday night, and I was not feeling up to it. I should have eaten more, but opted to finish off my chocolate Haagen Daz instead. Thanks to the L-Glutamine, my acne did not flare up as a result, but it does make me a bit queasy and I don't feel like eating in the morning (this week, could be the L-Glutamine, could just be the stress). It was really relieving to be able to treat myself, a bit too much even, and not suffer as a result. Tonight, I [i]will[/i] vacuum the apartment, no matter what! No more putting it off! And... more squats! And... I don't know. I hope I can think of some other things to keep busy with later.
I am really proud of Boyfriend for the way he is persevering in spite of his depression. He has an index card with reminders of things to check out (talking to his dad about a few $$ related things, mostly) that he keeps at his desk & in his wallet when he goes out. I hope it helps him do these things and doesn't just make him feel bad if he doesn't. I am worrying about him again though because he seemed to be doing okay recently, but last night did not come to bed because he was feeling depressed. He came to bed for a little, but left and I could hear in his voice that he was not thinking about good things when I asked him where he was going. Therapy is tomorrow morning and I am looking forward to talking about my concerns in relation to him and recent financial-stress.
I hope the boyfriend is ok and that his depression passes. Is he on any medication or did he stop using it too?
Congratulations on the raise! Exciting news! And what a huge jump too! The only way I know of to estimate the new income is to take the old income (before tax) and multiply by 1.12 (for the 12% increase). that'll give you your new pretax pay, but I don't know how to figure in the take home pay. There are calculators online you can use to do that, but they don't consider all of the variables like insurance, etc.
i liked your facebook post about "I'm posting what I want, deal with it". I thought it was great and it gave me the courage to not be so worried about seeing self-riteous and whatnot when posting about my weight loss, health improvements, etc. Brag on, girl!
Hooray for more money! You know- you can also do it my way. Wait and see and be plesantly surprised. (I have had an aversion to math since I had a teacher tell us that we could sing "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" with him to get out of half a homework assignment.)
Well, you know as well as anyone that all you can do for Boyfriend is be there when he's willing and able to reach out to you. But it sounds like you are doing well with balancing your mental health against what you can do for him. The stronger you can be for yourself, the stronger you can be for him.
[QUOTE=jenn26point2;826766]I hope the boyfriend is ok and that his depression passes. Is he on any medication or did he stop using it too?[/quote]
Boyfriend is "new" to depression and has never been on meds for it. I got him to see a counselor once last month, but then he missed his follow-up appointment and said he did not want to make another. Le sigh. I cannot make him go. It's been a rough time for him since at least last Fall, but it got much (noticeably) worse this Spring semester. I think things will improve once he finds employment, but finding work is an added stress that is not helping his optimism right now. I was happy to hear that he filled out outline apps for places like CVS and Best Buy though! I wasn't expecting him to do that.
One thing you could do, too, nameless, is to take the extra money and set it aside in a savings account for instances that surprise you - like car maintenance, etc. Unless you're so strapped that you're behind on debts etc, then definitely apply it to your debts. I have always intended to put raises aside, but it's never worked out b/c I'd find something else to buy... lol
I wish the boyfriend luck with finding a job. Places like CVS and Best Buy always seem to be hiring so that'd be a good place to work while he's looking for a job. :)
I'm a little new to your journal, but what is the underlying cause of said depression for said boyfriend?
Yeah, that's right. I just HeeHaw'd your journal.
[QUOTE=namelesswonder;826846]I think things will improve once he finds employment, but finding work is an added stress that is not helping his optimism right now. I was happy to hear that he filled out outline apps for places like CVS and Best Buy though! I wasn't expecting him to do that.[/QUOTE]
If I remember correctly your bf is a veteran. Home Depot and Lowes are very veteran friendly in their hiring practices. They also tend to pay better than other retail outlets.