S: very poor, a couple of hours but kept waking. I hate this phase...
B: large black coffee, 2 poached eggs on baby spinach
L: lamb cutlets with few roasted cherry tomatoes and slivers of roast zucchini
D: steak, with sauteed mushrooms and fried grape tomatoes
I am reading the Dukan diet but some of his comments frustrate me...still, good to read like Kruse and Ferris to maintain the rage against sugar.
I thought of you yesterday and here you are!
hey honeybuns, happy new year! yeah...my inability to withstand temptation, esp around the festive season sucks, but I guess I just have to try again. Trying VLC, less grey areas.
S: crappy again. very broken, awake most of night.
B: steak and 2 large black coffees as so sleep deprived
L: tuna nothing else
D: 4 egg omelette with bacon, cherry tomatoes and chives and a splash of milk. I don't even think milk goes in omelettes, esp when been dairy free all week. oh well
about to do some free weights tonight.
Edit: did a few reps of various lifts with heaviest weights, few squats and then went for 35 min walk.
Just remember that there is no need to beat yourself up over a temporary lapse.
terrible sleep again!
B: steak, large black coffee
L: steak, bit of salad, a tomato and cucumber salsa and lettuce
D: roast lamb, tomato and asparagus
I don't know if this will help your sleep any but I have found that if I listen to my body and go to bed when I start getting tired I have a better quality sleep than when I stay up past that point and go to bed later. Start paying attention and see if you can't figure out your natural circadian rythm.
I will try, thanks.
B: strong flat white.
L: roast chicken, vegies some greens and some roast
D: steak and salad. Salad had fetta and balsamic.
wow, it has been so long,struggling off and on...I think when I give up my strength re drinking, everything else falls down.
I have been primal for periods since last post. but there are always issues and I fail, I drink and comfort myself with food and indulge in self hatred and punishment.
anyway, its my birthday, so tomorrow is the fresh start....
so, I am reflecting on why I need to give this adecent shot again
I am an intelligent person, I know this is right, I have a science medical background, I am smart, I have read widely. seriously, what is wrong with me
sick of being fat and ho people treat you as inferior
sick of being disgusted at myself
sick of being single and lonely
apart from feeling unloved, sick of feeling like a failure because I am late 30s and everyone else has husband and kids, even worse when I am successful careerwise, doesn't matter when others have their own families and are surroundedby love
so hard to look nice, even professional, when you are larger than shop sizes
miss out on events because you know you won't look nice, so will feel uncomfortable, so decline
missed my 20 year school reunion because everyone would see I was the one who turned out FAT, esp when not surroundedby loved ones, and I was the school captain
havent caught up with other old friends that are easily found these days bc of. face book etc, because they would see I turned out fat. my other successes - great career, own my own home etc wouldnt matter
I am lucky I have the right knowledge to fix it and I havent any serious health problems to date.
I would love to hit summer...actually anytime, book a beach holiday and unwind. I cant. I cant get in a swimsuit. I am alone so travelling sucks alone and I am getting too old for group stuff, creepy. I cant wait for first week offto somewhere beautiful where I can not feel self conscious..
so, a list of bad things to remind me how miserable I will be if I don't change. Hopefully this time next year I will have greater things to report. If I am still like this turning 40, I won't.
so 39, 5ft 1, 200 lb (wow), single, bursting out of size 18 (aus)
large black coffee
grilled chicken caesar salad minus parmesan or croutons
no dinner, function I couldn't avoid so skipped non primal food all together and sipped a couple of glaases of red ( I know!)
7 hours broken sleep
3eggs and baby spinach, large black coffee
chicken breast, mix of steamed greens and non white roast veg
large salad with tuna, avocado and fetta
spinach and two eggs, largeblack coffee
two gluten free salmon cakes, dont know what was in them but they were fresh, and salad
lamb cutlets, salad with fetta.
small square of lindt 70% dark choc