[QUOTE=Pebbles67;1240165]I'm acting like an addict.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, but our favorite addict so....okay, I guess that doesn't help :(
You'll get there P, you are always looking for ways to succeed no matter what life, your husband, or your own body throws at you. If anyone will figure it out, it is you. Hugs.
I have to just tell myself I'm going to do this and then not let the spoiled brat inside of me have a temper tantrum over it! Kinda like "time to put on my big girl panties" and be an adult. But that's just me. I find when I change my thought processes about eating healthy its much easier. I have to focus on the fact that eating good results in feeling good. But when I start to feel like I'm being deprived I easily fall back into poor habits. So - staying positive really helps me stay the course.
Yesterday and today have been, well, less than stellar for me. Tomorrow, I will be at work, so it will be much easier. I also bought a bunch of salad greens, so that will help as well.
We have a chex mix sort of snack that gets taken to all events that we are expected to bring a snack to. Family is famous for it, so to speak. It is really a giant bag of mostly junk with some nuts and seeds thrown it to make me feel a little better. Well a bit of it came home from this last event, and I have gotten into it a few times. The good news is I will never have to make it again, that is not something that is expected of parents of college children!
Thanks guys. I forced myself to go to the gym and begin to get my head on straight. So far, strict paleo ( w30) with 4:3 adf has been the best for me as far a feeling well. I will go back to that tomorrow. Since July has 31 days, I am still on track for a w30. :p
I have not decided about weighing.
Tomorrow I will also make a room by room punch list to make sure some much needed home repairs actually happen this summer.
Just curious - when you are getting up at 4:30 am what time are you going to bed? I know that if I get less than 7 hours of sleep there is no way I can keep from binging - I remember reading an article about how it raises cortisol, which increases hunger dramatically - basically the body's defense system to get you through a period of stress.
I would be a zombie if I was getting up that early. :)
During the school year, I go to bed between 9 and 10. Last night, I went to bed at 11 and got up at 7 this morning.
I have already made today's "to do" list and started the summer repair list. I feel pretty strong this morning. It should be a good day.
Making lists is a great way to keep priorities straight. It also helps me when my hubby asks how can I help when he sees that I'm busy and I need a quick easy answer. Make sure you include specific jobs for the boys. I always need to remind myself that teaching my kids how to do real jobs is teaching skills to make them better prepared for life and not a punishment (even though many kids will complain otherwise). My 17yo can't wait to find a job as she is sure it will be easier than moving flag stone, a pile of wood to make a hugel kultur or staining our never ending fences, play structures, etc. (she may be right, but she is strong and it does motivate her to try to find that job while most of her friends just sleep in and make excuses).
Now I need to take my own advice and make a list of jobs for my 5 yo to do. He's been watching way too much TV and video games while I am busy working. Maybe I should give the job jar concept a try so that he can complain to it about the job instead of me:)
I'm a little jealous, I wish I had a house to "tackle" :). Cleaning my apartment just isn't the same! I've considering asking the land lady about painting the living room (a soft gray), but that requires money and not being lazy :D.
Next year, the girls are going to be in for a world of hurt with summer projects
[QUOTE=Pebbles67;1239895]I am more than 13 lbs heavier than June 30th. That is what happens when I go on a week long bender. My bad leg was so full of fluid last night, I could not sleep. I barely sat down yesterday.
I know that this erratic eating behavior and huge weight swings are dangerous. Sometimes I can control my eating behavior, sometimes I can't and sometimes I don't care. [B]It is the don't care that I must work on.[/B]
We have many things on the agenda this week. Kevin starts his summer program today.
I have decided that I am going to avoid talking about my husband here for the most part. His upset with me last week was pretty much par for the course. I was just venting. It was not a big incident, but kind of blew up in here. Honestly, I felt like running away. Yeah my marriage is not so great, but I am going to stick with it. To read what was written on here about abuse etc. is painful. And as I said, I am guilty of my own stuff.
***please do not apologize.I know that what was written came from the heart. I just don't want to talk about it anymore.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Pebbles67;1240165]I'm still eating badly. I guess clean eating starts tomorrow.
Oh, and my stupid period finally showed up yesterday...two weeks late.
[B]Friends, I am not in a good mental space. I know what I need to do and yet I feel confused and overwhelmed by the idea of getting off the junk again. I'm acting like an addict[/B].[/QUOTE]