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Thread: Critique my Primal Revenge Strategy

  1. #1
    otzi's Avatar
    otzi Guest

    Critique my Primal Revenge Strategy

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    I live in a rural area. My mailbox is about 1 mile away, in a row of about 30 other mailboxes. These mailboxes are in a secluded area and crack-heads, kids, poor people have taken to going through them and stealing mail. A few of us have locking mailboxes, but over the weekend, someone actually pried mine open, but luckily I check mail every day.

    $100 and a new mailbox later, I came up with a devious plan for revenge.

    I filled a ziplock baggie with antifreeze and Ty-D-Bowl, The blue toilet cleaner is a concentrated dye that will permanently stain anything it touches and the antifreeze will keep it liquid as it's cold where I live.

    I used silicone sealant and glued the baggie of dye inside a flat box, sealed the box in a way that to open it means rupturing the inner baggie and spewing dye all over whoever opens it.

    We have many mailboxes that have been abandoned over the years. I am going to put a bogus address on one of these empty mailboxes and plant the dye-box in it.

    Anyone who opens this package is in the wrong, so I don't feel sorry for who gets it. The contents are not harmful unless swallowed. Anyone see a downside to this plan? I have the package ready to go and plan on placing it today. The thieves seem to love hitting us on holidays, as many of us take trips and mail piles up...thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Fort Stewart, GA
    I think you're awesome. Go for it!

  3. #3
    Hidden camera too?

  4. #4
    otzi's Avatar
    otzi Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthernMonkeyGirl View Post
    Hidden camera too?
    We've talked about putting a trail cam out there, but the road gets so much traffic, it would be going off all day long. Plus, it could be a resident stealing mail with a valid excuse for being there. There is no power or street lights and you can see cars coming for miles, so it's a perfect place to steal mail. Cops are completely un-interested. Heading up to mailbox now--wish me luck!

  5. #5
    Follow up ideas - should they be necessary - various combinations of faeces and corpses*. It's amazing what samples people need to send through the post

    *non human!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    It sounds to me like you, me and my own father should all get married because this is
    exactly right up our alley.

    Go on with your bad self Otzi, i think it's a perfect plan.

    We live in the bottom of a court.

    Every year this neighbors f*cker nephew comes to stay for the holiday and he
    whizzes in and out of the court like it's the grand prix.

    On the last day of school he nearly ran us down when we were crossing the street.

    That night, my best friend and I, my needle nose pliers, ripped the valves out of his
    two back tires, then left a note that said "this should help you slow the fuck down".

    Car has been sitting there unmoved since. WAH.

    The only thing he was using it for was to drive his fat candy ass to McDonald's three times
    a day anyway.


    My father is 70 and is STILL pulling shenanigans like this - though, he's not vandallistic like myself.

    Sue me.

    I'm going to hell anyway, what's this going to hurt?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    This is awesome, I can't wait to hear how it goes.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Washington state
    Perfect! If only there were some sort of RFID liquid you could track them with...
    Steak, eggs, potatoes - fruits, nuts, berries and forage. Coconut milk and potent herbs and spices. Tea instead of coffee now and teeny amounts of kelp daily. Let's see how this does! Not really had dairy much, and gut seems better for it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Be nice if it was followed up by an ad in the local paper saying something cryptic like "the blue stain is that of the thief in our community. There are more traps". That way the person is blued and shamed others know what it means, and it might stop other shenaningans in the community because thieves won't know where the traps are.

    But it wouldn't be worth the cost of a half page ad..

    and the shitheads may not read, lol.

    something would be good though, a sign at the mailboxes a week later?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Anchorage, Alaska
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    Wouldn't it be more primal to ambush, capture, enslave them, and take their women?

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