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How do I make a non-primal listen, or atleast not judge me

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  • How do I make a non-primal listen, or atleast not judge me



    *Warning: Long rant ahead*


    Ok, so many of you already know about the debate my husband and I have. He's a physician/ researcher/ academic who flat out refuses to even listen to my side of the story. When I talk to him about GCBC, he says he doesn't care for "unpublished references" nor references that are not printed in "high-impact journals". He says, "It's just not worth my time." "I'm a SCIENTIST - maybe you can fool your friends with non-science background with all your talk, but this is my career, please don't waste your time or mine!" He doesn't even want to listen to my side of the story. "It's stupid to lose weight at the cost of getting athersclerosis" And I'm not even doing this for weight-loss (I'm about 10 lb above my ideal). It make's me mad and helpless.


    I know many of you have been extremely supportive and going out of your way to send strong references along my way, just felt the need to rant here.


  • #2
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    That wasn't too long of a rant at all. :-)


    I have doctors and scientists in my close family and I'm in an Ph.D. program, so I empathize.


    A couple of things come to mind:


    1. The change in your health, mental and bodily, might be the best argument for your husband--and for you, too. It sounds as though trying to convince him by other means might be counterproductive for a while, if only from the standpoint of your well-being. The ability to relax is, after all, part of a healthy lifestyle.


    My own strategy is changing my own eating and exercise habits and allowing my family to ask about the results, if and when they become visible. When they do, I'll point them to Taubes's book and this blog and signal that I'm not interested in changing their minds.


    2. While it sounds as though more discussion may not be the best thing for you at this time, when you do talk about this issue again with your husband, perhaps he can appreciate the fact that the numerous sources in Taubes's book--pointing to the benefits of low-carb lifestyle--*have* indeed been published in "high-impact journals."

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    • #3
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      • #4
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        Simply put- BE the proof.

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        • #5
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          Science is not dogma, and it's not afraid of being tested or challenged. You might let him know he's not actually a scientist. GCBC is certainly not a bunch of unpublished, low impact references.


          My wife's a Ph.D. biologist, and no matter how crazy what I'm talking about is, she'll listen to me and give it an honest hearing and go read the literature if necessary.

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          • #6
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            no offense but your husband sounds like a poor "scientist". the object of science is the pursuit of facts and truth, from hypothesizing and theorizing followed by experimentation, then finally drawing conclusions based on observations. at least this is my interpretation of true science. closing your mind to any theory or hypothesis that is untested, or tested by certain members to have found reasonable healthful benefits is not very scientific at all.

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            • #7
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              I would quit trying to convince him. Sounds like the more you try to talk to him about it, the more adamant he becomes. Let yourself be the example- perhaps next time you get your cholesterol done you could share that with him. I know my mom freaked out that I was eating so many eggs but when I told her how low my cholesterol numbers were she calmed down a bit. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

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              • #8
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                talk about the weather.

                It's grandma, but you can call me sir.

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                • #9
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                  @Agnieszka: If, for a moment, he forgets that I don't have life-science background and actually listens to what I say, there might be hope. His constant refrain is,"Just by reading a book, you think you know more than me!" I know I don't but Taubes sure does.


                  @Diana: That's what I'm hoping for.


                  @Nick: What can I say, you're very lucky. As is your wife, I'm sure.


                  @Shastagirl: None taken. He gets SO defensive when I mention some of the studies in GCBC or question what he says (when it comes to medicine, that is).


                  @DCKMB: True! All my talk this morning just egged him to buy junk food from the store this evening!!


                  @Grandma: Good idea!


                  Thank you all for listening to me.

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                  • #10
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                    In retrospect, I think it's his low-fat, processed foods, vegetarian diet that's making him act the way he does :P

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                    • #11
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                      As others have suggested, it's probably better that you stop talking and just let your proof be your physical well being.

                      Start weight: 250 - 06/2009
                      Current weight: 199
                      Goal: 145

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                      • #12
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                        Ignore ignorant, let him be the first to ask

                        I will be normal. I will be NORMAL again
                        Yeah!

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                        • #13
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                          no offense but he sounds like a typical arrogant MD

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                          • #14
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                            I think this kind of ongoing debate/conflict is extra-difficult when it's with your partner/ spouse! I'd agree with all the general advice given above about dropping the discussion for awhile and letting your experience of this way of life speak for itself. Sometimes it feels like you're the only couple in the world who sit down to different dinners, but really, plenty of people have arrangements like that.

                            Try to remember that the reason you both argue so passionately for your position is that you love the other and want them to be healthy and happy!

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                            • #15
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                              I agree with the others, it'd be best to drop the subject at this point. But don't try to hide it, either -- mention how good you feel, visibly savor your primal meals, leave medical test results on the kitchen counter or somewhere he's bound to notice them, find a variety of magazines and books on the subject and leave them around. It might be a good idea to start a journal so you can write down and contemplate everything that's going on without voicing it to him right away.

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