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How natural is monogamy for men?

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  • How natural is monogamy for men?

    I've heard both sides of the story. There are many advocates saying that it is "natural" for a man to spread his seed, and yet as we all have experienced, it is natural for both men and women to fall in love and feel a deep attachment or bond to one person in particular. On the flip side of THAT, there is a lot of research that shows that particular feeling of attachment doesn't last forever (on average about 4 years), and it tends to settle into a more familiar feeling, rather than a passionate, romantic one. So really, is it natural for a man to remain monogamous to a woman for an extended period of time?

    But also, considering the structure of modern society, which would be emotionally and psychologically healthier? Is it healthier for a man to suppress his primal urgings in favor of a lifestyle that is more compatible with society's structure? Not to mention which allows for a stable family structure? Or is it unhealthy to suppress those reptilian instincts?

  • #2
    I believe monogamy is perfectly fine. We aren't the only species on earth that is monogamous so the whole spread the seed primal thing is just an excuse to bang chicks. Would I like to spread my seed all over a few chicks? Ya damn right I would, but I love my wife and the fact that she is a great women, makes me happy, and in November will make a great mother is enough for me.
    "Live Free or Die"

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Bostonbully View Post
      ...so the whole spread the seed primal thing is just an excuse to bang chicks.
      Exactly.

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      • #4
        Both men and women like to have one main mate for comfort, familiarity, food, shelter, protection and head-pats, and then other less-familiar mates for sex and fun.
        You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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        • #5
          They (some) may LIKE it, but it's an untenable position for all but the most rarest of relationships.

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          • #6
            I know that male Aborigine from Australia can have a lot of wife. Male marry quite late too (it's not rare to be 40+ without a wife).

            However, unlike most would think, it is not a matter of ''banging a lot of chicks''. The older you are, the better you are at protecting your family. Also, the older you are, the better you know the environment and people in the county. Obviously, since it is a kin oriented society, having that type of knowledge is really important. It's a matter of life or death.

            Today, we don't have this kind of society (will be explained more in detail in my coming primal journal) and we don't need this kind of knowledge to survive either. On top of that, most of us, Canadians and Americans, have Christian influences. That's why polygymy or polygamy is not too popular in our society.

            Can we say one is better than the other? I don't think so. Different types of society for different realities.
            Living the hard way has never been so easy!
            My paleo website : www.primaljournal.com

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            • #7
              It all comes down to having grandchildren. For a male to go around "spreading his seed", it does little good if those children die because he isn't there to take care of them, ensure that they grow and have children of their own.

              The research is split on this, stating that there are two types of men. The "A" male, has it all genetically that a woman wants for her offspring, but he isn't cut out for long term care. The "B" male isn't the perfect genetic specimin, but can be counted on to stick around to ensure that her children are provided for (some researchers state that he stays because there is the sex exchange). This is also why, when a woman ovulates, she is more sexually attracted to the type "A" males (and more likely to cheat with them), and then go happily back to the "B" male who will take care of her the rest of the time.
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              • #8
                The world as over populated as it is I vote for taking a 30 year hiatus on the whole "spreading the seed" thing... I personally love my girl, but do admit we have a young relationship (just over a year) but I do see myself with her for the long run. However, there have been quite a few instances in which I wish I was not "tied down" but those don't last and there's always masturbation to get your mind off the last booty you saw ...
                I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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                • #9
                  Another sex thread huh...
                  .`.><((((> .`.><((((>.`.><((((>.`.><(( ((>
                  ><((((> .`.><((((>.`.><((((>.`.><(( ((>

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                  • #10
                    Monogamy is a personal choice and should not be dictated by society / religion. Personally I choose serial monogamy, or it chooses me.

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                    • #11
                      Its not natural for ANYONE. Its something humans make a commitment to do (or try and do) and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. But its not natural.
                      One time http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/forum.php

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                      • #12
                        I think monogamy is natural for some people, and not for others. I think that there are a lot of people trying to be monogamous, who shouldn't, because that's what they think is "normal" and "natural." I find successful polyamoury to be more a matter of spiritual evolution rather than physical. I really find it's a shame that monogamy is "the norm" in our society. I think there are a lot of people who are naturally poly who find themselves in situations where they end up cheating, or are simply unhappy because they don't realize that poly is an acceptable choice.

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                        • #13
                          This is a complex topic. The sort that inspires the writing of say, doctoral dissertations. And powerful essays. And books. And laws.

                          Did I mention that it's complex? And further complicated by the fact that in our modern environement, childhood is essentially extended for many years past what it would have been in an EAA and with that means a longer term of parental investment.



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                          • #14
                            I think that life long monogamy works great if you choose wisely. My grandparents were together for 70 years. I, on the other hand, have never managed to hold a relationship for more than a few years and usually for a lot shorter than that. So, choosing wisely over the long term probably means not choosing me.
                            http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Daemonized View Post
                              I think that life long monogamy works great if you choose wisely. My grandparents were together for 70 years. I, on the other hand, have never managed to hold a relationship for more than a few years and usually for a lot shorter than that. So, choosing wisely over the long term probably means not choosing me.
                              LOL. It's good to know yourself!




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