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  • So your saying CW has a few things right?!! I usually read CW advice and run quickly in the opposite direction!

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    • Originally posted by ELizabeth826 View Post
      Every Cosmopolitan magazine cover story ever:

      41 New Ways to Please Your Man! - Blow him.
      How to Have the Best Sex Ever! - Blow him while moaning a lot.
      Secret Sex Tips You’ve Never Tried! - Put a scrunchie on his dick, then blow him.
      Boost Your Bedroom Confidence! - Stop eating for a month, lose 20 pounds, then blow him.
      How to Get What You Want in Bed! - Blow him first.
      When It’s OK to be a Bitch! - Only while blowing him.
      Sassy Career Moves to Get Ahead! - Give your boss head. Ask For Raise. Yay feminism.
      Celebrity Profile! - She is thinner, prettier, and more successful than you. And she probably gives better head.
      Scary Sexual Health Statistics! - Never have sex because you will get herpes and die. Unless it’s blow jobs, those are ok.
      Caution:

      Reading this post while eating nuts could cause choking and snarfing.

      But seriously, I have run into some CW moments lately, almost all with my female coworkers. Now the weight has noticably come off, and people are asking.

      CW1: So, you are doing low carb right? I could never do that. My carbs are all right here (pointing to her rotund belly). Yep. Tis true.

      But now, every thing I eat is grounds for dicussion. No, I did not eat at breakfast conference this morning (bagels, croissants, jam, coffee, skim milk). Nope, not at lunch meeting yesterday (sandwiches, chips, cookies, soda, salad with dressing). Yes, I am microwaving my own lunch after not eating yours. Get over it!!!

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      • Re: Cosmo
        ELizabeth826 is spot on. I would only add that 80% of the sex tips require incorporating an ice cube.

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        • Originally posted by primaLeaf View Post
          Re: Cosmo
          ELizabeth826 is spot on. I would only add that 80% of the sex tips require incorporating an ice cube.
          Or Altoids.
          Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

          If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

          Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

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          • Originally posted by ELizabeth826 View Post
            Every Cosmopolitan magazine cover story ever:

            41 New Ways to Please Your Man! - Blow him.
            How to Have the Best Sex Ever! - Blow him while moaning a lot.
            Secret Sex Tips Youíve Never Tried! - Put a scrunchie on his dick, then blow him.
            Boost Your Bedroom Confidence! - Stop eating for a month, lose 20 pounds, then blow him.
            How to Get What You Want in Bed! - Blow him first.
            When Itís OK to be a Bitch! - Only while blowing him.
            Sassy Career Moves to Get Ahead! - Give your boss head. Ask For Raise. Yay feminism.
            Celebrity Profile! - She is thinner, prettier, and more successful than you. And she probably gives better head.
            Scary Sexual Health Statistics! - Never have sex because you will get herpes and die. Unless itís blow jobs, those are ok.

            Cosmo has the worst "sex tips" ever. I feel bad that there are women trying these things and wondering why their sex life is still not what they'd like it to be.
            sigpic "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

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            • I'm at class last night and one of the girls made these homemade cupcakes... with a cookie dough center and a peanut butter and sugar frosting. Made me nauseous just to think about. Of course everybody's having some and raving about how AWESOME they are and asking for the recipe. One of the girls comes over and asks if I want one (They all know I don't eat grains, but you know how quickly that's forgotton). I said no thanks... I don't eat grains. Or sugar. Or peanut butter. Or cookie dough. :-/

              Good part was I wasn't even hungry-- and it had been almost 8 hours since I ate (I forgot my protein shake stuff at work, so I just skipped it). :-)
              sigpic "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

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              • Originally posted by Minxxa View Post
                Cosmo has the worst "sex tips" ever. I feel bad that there are women trying these things and wondering why their sex life is still not what they'd like it to be.

                Well, I have never read cosmo but most guys I know would not be unhappy with the tips posted

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                • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                  Well, I have never read cosmo but most guys I know would not be unhappy with the tips posted
                  That was a tongue in cheek about the tips in Cosmo.

                  They advertise these wonderful tips that will blow his mind... and it's normal, everyday stuff everyone over 15 years old knows. Nothing is new, nothing is spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary.

                  If you want to know some good tips on how to improve your sex life, there are some awesome books out there. Including books with some really cool tips and tricks for "blowing him".
                  sigpic "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

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                  • Here's the best breakdown of Cosmopolitan, and its "advice" given to girls, that I've heard. The pertinent bit starts at 2:00.

                    Are you a college student, trying to navigate college while being Primal? Do you know any other PB college students on a tight budget? Heck, for that matter, are YOU trying to live Primal on a budget? Enroll at Primal University!

                    For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either.
                    -- Blaise Pascal

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                    • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                      Well, I have never read cosmo but most guys I know would not be unhappy with the tips posted
                      You would be happy if your gf blew her boss?
                      In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

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                      • Well, I have never read cosmo but most guys I know would not be unhappy with the tips posted.
                        I don't know many guys who's actually go for their partner sucking an ice cube while giving him head. Something about shrinkage and blood loss...
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                        My Latest Journal

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                        • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                          I don't know many guys who's actually go for their partner sucking an ice cube while giving him head. Something about shrinkage and blood loss...
                          Some of them are downright stupid, honestly. I saw one with about keeping Listerine in your mouth while sucking for a 'cooling sensation'.
                          It's ain't gonna be cooling. it will be stinging and BURNING
                          I'm a paleo foodie, come check out my recipes: http://strangekitty.ca/

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                          • Originally posted by Nion View Post
                            Some of them are downright stupid, honestly. I saw one with about keeping Listerine in your mouth while sucking for a 'cooling sensation'.
                            It's ain't gonna be cooling. it will be stinging and BURNING
                            Also, how the hell would you even do that!!! I can barely keep listerine in my mouth for the amount of time it takes to rinse my gums with it. OUCH.

                            Seriously, the tips that aren't downright idiotic are so basic that if you don't know to do them, I can't help you. Like, OMG he might enjoy having his nipples played with?!?!? HOW NAUGHTY!!!! *rolls eyes*


                            Crap! I'm An Adult!

                            My Primal Journal

                            http://badquaker.com <--- podcast I'm a part of. Check it out if you like anarchy, geekiness and random ramblings.

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                            • Originally posted by CoyoteVick View Post
                              Also, how the hell would you even do that!!! I can barely keep listerine in my mouth for the amount of time it takes to rinse my gums with it. OUCH.

                              Seriously, the tips that aren't downright idiotic are so basic that if you don't know to do them, I can't help you. Like, OMG he might enjoy having his nipples played with?!?!? HOW NAUGHTY!!!! *rolls eyes*
                              My personal favorite was the one that said play with his balls with giving him head. Uh... Duh?
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

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                              • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                                I don't know many guys who's actually go for their partner sucking an ice cube while giving him head. Something about shrinkage and blood loss...
                                Not to mention potential choking..
                                I find your lack of bacon disturbing.

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