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Funny CW moments

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  • A woman I grew up with recently started a blog to chronicle her weight loss journey. One of her more recent entries listed instructions on how to make cake "healthy" and lower calorie so she could eat it more often.

    This is a direct quote from her:

    "What makes cake so unhealthy is the butter and eggs we put in it." Yeah, because the sugar and refined flour can't possibly be unhealthy...

    Sigh. Her solution to making cake healthy? Make it with only boxed cake mix and diet soda. Then it practically becomes a miracle health food!

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    • I was in water aerobics yesterday. My classmates were talking about healthy foods and alternative practices. One classmate was swearing up, down and sideways that doing a coffee enema was the best thing for her headaches and had made them go away completely if she did them regularly. I asked if she thought it might be a sensitivity or maybe brought on by something she was eating that she could remove from her diet. I got looked at like I grew a third eye. Yeah. She's the one putting coffee up her ass and I'm the weird one for suggesting the headaches could be caused by food.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

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      • Um.. what? Who decided that flushing your ass out with caffeine was a good idea?

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        • I think you could have shortened that story to "coffee enema," and it would have had the same impact.

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          • I tutor a high school kid (male, 15) in chemistry. We meet weekly at Starbucks, so I'm usually sipping on my grande Earl Grey tea with literally 1/3 cup heavy cream in it. We were discussing my "snack" last night:

            Student: That looks really good!
            Me: It's super yummy!
            Student: But so bad for you.
            Me: Why?
            Student: Because of all the cream in it.
            Me: Why's that bad for me?
            Student: Because of all the fat in the cream.
            Me: Why's that bad for me?
            Student: Because fat is bad for you.
            Me: Says who?
            Student: {blank stare}
            Me: Why is fat bad for me?
            Student: Because it just is.
            Me: Says who???
            Student: Everyone knows it's bad for you!
            Me: Because the government tells us it's bad for me?
            Student: I don't know why, everyone just knows it.
            Me: {starting to get a little preachy} So...if our bodies store excess energy in the form of fat, and when we lose weight we metabolize this fat and turn it into energy, and the fat on our bodies is the same as the fat that we eat, how can eating it be bad for us? That's like saying that losing weight is bad for us because our bodies are burning fat.
            Student: {really blank stare}
            Me: Wanna learn some chemistry now?!

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            • CW inna nutshell

              3pruw1.jpg
              Natural products super cheap @ iherb: Use discount code SEN850 at http://www.iherb.com/?rcode=sen850 for $10 off first order; free shipping $20+ order in USA

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              • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                doing a coffee enema was the best thing for her headaches and had made them go away...
                When I was in the academy to become a police officer, (years ago) they told us one of the ways some people were getting away with getting massively drunk w/o having noticeable alcohol on the breath was by an alcohol enema. Because of the large numbers of blood vessels and very little to stop them (little or no lining and easy accessibility) the alcohol is directly absorbed into the blood stream. A kid died that way, enemizing two much alcohol... Anyway, it might be the rapid infusion of caffeine into her blood stream, acting as a vasoconstrictor, is causing a major portion of her headache to go away. Caffeine's effectiveness is why they put caffeine in so many OTC pain relievers. Excedrin is the first one I can think of.

                Suggest it's the caffeine and suggest going without a couple of days and see if her headaches get worse. Then try it again and see if it goes away = caffeine's stopping them but only curing the symptom, not the underlying issue.
                The eyes of all hope in thee, O Lord: and thou givest them meat in due season.
                Psalms 144:15

                Annie Sires

                Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.
                Pope John Paul II

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                • Only problem with that, is the potential to have headaches either way. With high enough doses or non-filtered caffeine (such as suppository), the brain will have withdrawal from it, generally in the form of headaches. In those that suffer migraines, the withdrawal from caffeine would exacerbate the effects of the migraine. So, it would reinforce the idea that shoving caffeine up your ass = no migraines.

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                  • Coffee enemas are big in the gut-healing community. Enemas are step 1, coffee enemas are supposed to work even better.

                    Wouldn't know!
                    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

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                    • Man... what happened to just drinking your coffee? I don't even...
                      Out of context quote for the day:

                      Clearly Gorbag is so awesome he should be cloned, reproducing in the normal manner would only dilute his awesomeness. - Urban Forager

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                      • Originally posted by sires6 View Post
                        When I was in the academy to become a police officer, (years ago) they told us one of the ways some people were getting away with getting massively drunk w/o having noticeable alcohol on the breath was by an alcohol enema.
                        Great, next ya know cops will be sticking breathalyzers up peoples asses.

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                        • These days, it's becoming harder and harder for me not to roll my eyes when someone refers to "healthy" grains.

                          I'm in a business class that helps start-ups, some of which are involved in making food. A lady last night was talking about the cakes she makes, and then a group-wide conversation ensued about how to use "whole grains" and "raw sugars" and portion control, to make those cakes "healthy". I just checked out, because these days, conversions aren't something I have time for. Sigh. So ill-informed. Maybe I'll launch a side project offering a Primal food lunches.

                          Also, ew re: enemas :-)

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                          • "The time-tested water enema evolved during WWI when German medic supplies – including morphine – were in short supply and nurses were desperate to find ways of alleviating the post-surgery pain of severely wounded soldiers. Water enemas were routinely used, but anxious to find a more potent pain reliever, one resourceful nurse intuitively used leftover brewed coffee and found it to be highly effective."

                            Can read more here: Whole Body Detoxification (Part 4): The Coffee Enema

                            I'm not if favor of or against it because I don't personally know anything about it, but an open mind is what got you to Mark's site isn't it?

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                            • Originally posted by pfair143 View Post
                              I'm not if favor of or against it because I don't personally know anything about it, but an open mind is what got you to Mark's site isn't it?
                              While the open mind aspect is true, I am firmly of the opinion that the rectum is an exit only port.
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                                While the open mind aspect is true, I am firmly of the opinion that the rectum is an exit only port.
                                Different strokes for different folks.

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