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Tragic CW and SAD Recipes

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  • Originally posted by fifer View Post
    OK... question from Scotland... what is a tablescape?
    just google Sandra Lee and prepare to be amazed.

    her "semi-homemade" recipes are legendary for their offense to good sense or taste. She has these ridiculous tablescapes (setting the table gone over the top) and even better - her entire kitchen is redesigned for every episode. I love it how there's always a perfectly matching kitchen aid mixer no matter what the color scheme.

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    • personally i've always thought pecan pie was one of the most tragic recipes ever. Take some perfectly delicious shelled pecans, put them in a store-bought pie crust, pour freaking karo syrup over it all, bake. serve with cool whip, of course. disgusting. But my whole family and even my husband thinks i'm weird b/c i think it's awful, always have. And cool whip has always made me gaggy at the thought. even real whipped cream sounds gross to me. it's the baby food consistency, i think.

      actually i don't know if that's how you make pecan pie, that's just what i observed as a kid in the kitchen.

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      • Originally posted by Betty_Groker View Post
        "fat free and healthy cake" by my mother
        You will need: premade angel food cake (fat free!!), strawberries, bananas, pre made strawberry pie filling (fat free!!), Instant Vanilla pudding - preped (fat free!!), Cool Whip (fat free!!)

        pull apart angel food cake, and put it in a serving bowl, chop strawberries and bananas, mix with cake, drizzle the strawberry pie filling and pudding throughout the mixture. cover with cool whip and decorate with sliced fruit on top.
        That is an absolute atrocity! And I'm pretty sure my step-mother used to make something very similar.
        Angel food cake, vanilla pudding, cherry pie filling, cool whip... sprinkle the top with coconut.
        Even as a kid I thought it was disgustingly sweet and goopy.

        Originally posted by Catherine View Post
        personally i've always thought pecan pie was one of the most tragic recipes ever. Take some perfectly delicious shelled pecans, put them in a store-bought pie crust, pour freaking karo syrup over it all, bake. serve with cool whip, of course. disgusting. But my whole family and even my husband thinks i'm weird b/c i think it's awful, always have. And cool whip has always made me gaggy at the thought. even real whipped cream sounds gross to me. it's the baby food consistency, i think.

        actually i don't know if that's how you make pecan pie, that's just what i observed as a kid in the kitchen.
        IMO, there is good pecan pie, and BAD pecan pie. And 99.9% of the pecan pies in the world are BAD pecan pies.
        Huge layers of ultra sweet, so bad it hurts your teeth, custard and just a single thin layer of nuts on top... no depth of flavor at all, just flat, plain sweetness. Ugh! (...and yes, made in some crappy store bought crust.)
        A proper pecan pie has a LOAD of nuts, a thin layer of mildly sweet custard, and is properly spiced and bourbon-ed for excellent depth/complexity of flavor...and is freaking delicious!
        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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        • Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
          I'm not understanding your point. Is it that everyone in the world who eats things you are unfamiliar with is lazy? That things you are unfamiliar with must be gross?

          Yeah, we know that wheat is bad. I haven't eaten it for a decade. But it rubs me the wrong way that you are dissing American food you have zero familiarity with, just because.
          I don't need to be familiar with American cuisine to know that shiny white lumps from a can are something I personally find disgusting and would not want to eat. I am actually well travelled and we are moving to Brunei in June so I am not afraid to try things I am unfamiliar with, I love trying new foods. What is not lazy about feeding your family something from a tin + jar of sauce + grated cheese? I've had two kids, and my second was very unwell as a baby so I know what its like to be pushed for time and energy to cook, from time to time I might have fed my kids similar type easy meals but I'd never boast about it, nor put photo's on a blog and encourage others to eat food like that.

          Not a comment on American food at all, but they don't call it SAD for nothing. Some of the crap coming from NZ tables is anything to be proud of and I'm more than happy to start complaining about that too.

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          • Originally posted by Lizzielou View Post
            I don't need to be familiar with American cuisine to know that shiny white lumps from a can are something I personally find disgusting and would not want to eat. I am actually well travelled and we are moving to Brunei in June so I am not afraid to try things I am unfamiliar with, I love trying new foods. What is not lazy about feeding your family something from a tin + jar of sauce + grated cheese? I've had two kids, and my second was very unwell as a baby so I know what its like to be pushed for time and energy to cook, from time to time I might have fed my kids similar type easy meals but I'd never boast about it, nor put photo's on a blog and encourage others to eat food like that.

            Not a comment on American food at all, but they don't call it SAD for nothing. Some of the crap coming from NZ tables is anything to be proud of and I'm more than happy to start complaining about that too.
            I'm sure you've never eaten anything in your life that someone unfamiliar with your cuisine could have looked at and said, "I don't know what that is, I don't want to know, but for sure it's disgusting! What's wrong with THOSE PEOPLE?"

            Just as I'm sure you've never eaten anything round and white in your life.

            It's an attitude I've run into everywhere. Very provincial.

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            • I've had two kids, and my second was very unwell as a baby so I know what its like to be pushed for time and energy to cook, from time to time I might have fed my kids similar type easy meals but I'd never boast about it, nor put photo's on a blog and encourage others to eat food like that.
              The point of this thread is to poke fun at those recipes. You know, the Sandra Lee's of the world. The funny thing is that eating processed foods kill your tastebuds, so canned biscuits with a cup and a half of sugar enhanced with 2 boxes of pudding mix actually tastes great to a lot of people. All of us here know it is fucked up, but it's kind of ummm... like a freak show.

              http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
              Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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              • Originally posted by Kata View Post
                Found this gem on my Facebook feed. The author stresses how "light" it is (because you're using Cool Whip, none of that unhealthy real cream nonsense) like 3 times. Meanwhile, just looking at it is giving my eyeballs diabetes.



                "This is for YOU, the chocolate lover out there who is looking for a chocolate-y treat that is actually quite light! Chocolate Lasagna is a dessert you don’t want to miss!

                When Ryan told me that this fabulous Chocolate Lasagna ranks up there on his list of favorite desserts of all time, I knew I had to share it with you. Just looking at the layers upon layers of goodness, you can tell it’s going to be worth salivating over!

                You will begin with the crust which consists of crushed Oreos mixed with a little butter. You will want to use regular Oreos versus the Double Stuff variety and you’ll need all 36 cookies that come in a typical package of Oreos (minus the 1 or 2 or 3 that you are obligated to sample before crushing them…).

                [ATTACH]11329[/ATTACH]

                After pressing the cookie/butter mixture into a 9 x 13 inch baking pan, you’ll get working on the layers! What I love about this recipe is that the layers are actually quite light. Maybe not in calories, but this dessert will NOT sit in your stomach like a brick like some desserts!

                The first layer is a white layer which consists of cream cheese that you’ve whipped until fluffy, sugar, a little milk, and some Cool Whip. Not whipped cream, Cool Whip! Once that’s spread over the chocolate-y Oreo crust, you’ll prep the chocolate layer!

                [ATTACH]11330[/ATTACH]

                The chocolate layer is simply chocolate pudding. Seriously, how easy is that? You will need two boxes of chocolate instant pudding. Make sure it’s instant pudding guys, and not the cook and serve variety. I didn’t realize that I had bought the cook and serve kind, so I sat there whisking and whisking…. and whisking the mixture waiting for it to thicken up and it never did. Then I realized what I had done and had to make an emergency trip to the grocery store to buy instant pudding!

                At any rate, once the pudding has thickened up a bit, you’ll spread it over the white layer. Yum yum. At this point, let it rest for about five minutes before continuing on to the next step.

                [ATTACH]11331[/ATTACH]

                The very last layer is simply a little more Cool Whip that you’ll spread over the top. Because this is Chocolate Lasagna, I figured I’d throw in just a bit more chocolate to complete the experience of Chocolate Lasagna, so I sprinkled a bunch of mini chocolate chips on top. It was the perfect addition!

                If you’re familiar with the Chocolate Lasagna that Olive Garden serves (served? I hear they no longer sell it), this is nothing like it. Their layers were more cake-like while this Chocolate Lasagna is just light and fluffy layers of pudding, and Cool Whip with a little cream cheese mixed in.

                We really loved this Chocolate Lasagna. Each layer complimented the next just perfectly! And, it makes a big 9 x 13 inch pan so that you will have plenty for sharing. Oh, and did I mention that it’s a no-bake treat? I love it when I come across a fantastic treat that requires no oven! Enjoy!"
                I love the fact that they are so clueless about cooking they could not even bother to throw the non-instant pudding on the stove and cook it. Instead they wasted it and bought the instant. ARGHHH!

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                • I was offered a homemade "twix bar" at work. I put on a huge smile, said thanks, and promptly threw it in the nearest garbage receptacle.

                  I have never felt so proud.

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                  • "HoLiDaY*EvEnT*PaRtY GaLoRe" / Oh my heavens... sour patch grapes! Grapes coated in watermelon jello mix. A healthy snack that tastes like candy. I will take it.
                    Sour Grapes...grapes dipped into watermelon jello powder touted as a "Healthy Snack"

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                    • Originally posted by PrimalPumpkin View Post
                      I love the fact that they are so clueless about cooking they could not even bother to throw the non-instant pudding on the stove and cook it. Instead they wasted it and bought the instant. ARGHHH!
                      I thought the same thing! "I'm gonna take 20 minutes to drive to the store, spend more money, and start this whole thing over because using the stovetop pudding is JUST TOO MUCH WORK."

                      This is from the same source.

                      "Ice Cream Bread! Anyone heard of this? Use any flavor of Ice Cream..just make sure it's not non-fat or low-fat.

                      2 cups Ice Cream
                      1-½ cup Self-Rising Flour

                      Stir together ice cream and flour, stirring just until flour is moistened. Spoon batter into a greased and floured 8×4 inch loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in the center of the bread comes out clean. Remove from the pan, and cool on a wire rack."

                      428739_10151445480368507_1421833170_n.jpg


                      FAT FREE ICE CREAM BREAD. Need I say more?

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                      • Well they said DON'T use non fat or low fat. :P Still it sounds gross either way, why not just eat the ice cream over warm pie or cake if you want ice cream warm? *ponders
                        yay!

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                        • Originally posted by annierobic View Post
                          oh my. that actually looks good to me, but w/ twang instead of jello mix.

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                          • Originally posted by Catherine View Post
                            oh my. that actually looks good to me, but w/ twang instead of jello mix.
                            At first I thought it was grapes covered in *actual* watermelon jello, and was like, Oh that sounds kinda fun! But then I realized it was just the mix. Which reminded me of pixie sticks and then I wasn't interested anymore ;p
                            "Since going primal, I've found that there are very few problems that cannot be solved with butter and/or bacon fat."

                            My amusing take on paleo-blogging: http://whatshouldwecallpaleolife.tumblr.com/

                            Are you a Primal in San Francisco, or the SF Bay Area in general? Join our facebook group!

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                            • Originally posted by qqemokitty View Post
                              Well they said DON'T use non fat or low fat. :P Still it sounds gross either way, why not just eat the ice cream over warm pie or cake if you want ice cream warm? *ponders
                              HA! I missed the NOT in that sentence. That makes it slightly less offensive.

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                              • Originally posted by kathleen View Post
                                Not sure if this counts as a recipe, but I came accross this gem today:



                                https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...97533452_n.png
                                i think b/c of these pics, i had a dream that i created a drink called a Do-Rita; rita w/ glass rimmed w/ crushed doritos. LOL!

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