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Kalli's Leptin Reset Experiment

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  • #61
    I didn't eat dinner yesterday bc I wasn't hungry BUT there were two birthdays in the office, so we had drinks and key lime pie. I had one small drink and avoided key lime pie! BUT I could feel the snack monster being awakened by the drink...it was like, oooh, look at all the lovely things to snack on! And I said, Be quiet you, I'm running a dairy/sleep/no-snacking experiment and you're ruining it!

    Then I met a friend for tea (tea is my new favorite outing). Didn't get to bed til about 11:30, but I slept for 9 hours (yay!) and the last two were pretty restful.

    And today I'm down two pounds (back to my starting weight, basically) and I'm at 37.5" at my waist at my belly-button! Yes! When I started, I was this weight, but with a 40" waist! So, cow dairy seems to be causing inflammation/bloat/something. Even if it's delicious creme fraiche. (Waaah.)

    This morning I had two chicken sausages (42 g ptn), 2 pcs bacon (8g), and 2 eggs (12g) for a total of 62g of protein. I like having a nice, leisurely breakfast. Can't wait to be waking up early and having this breakfast!

    I've been invited to a girls night party thing, and I said yes, but now I'm like...is this in line with my goals? Party food and drinks after 4? No. I'll see them all the next day for classwork, so it's not like we'll never see each other. I think that's what I have to do -- what's right for me. Especially after dropping an inch and a half off my abdomen overnight!

    I feel really tired. I've been spending most of my Saturdays napping. I guess I'll do that until I don't feel like I have to anymore. We'll see!
    Last edited by kalli889; 05-19-2012, 08:28 AM.
    My Leptin Reset Journey


    Current BF%: 35
    Goal BF%: 20-23

    Comment


    • #62
      So, I'm down another pound! 176.8 lbs now! Back under my SW. Pretty great! This no dairy thing and no late-eating thing is working. I didn't go to girl's night, instead I stayed home and watched TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN with my roommate and drank Perrier out of wine glasses. Pretty sweet. Didn't get to sleep til 1 am -- I think I had a glass of iced tea late and then stayed up watching screens obvs. I bought passionflower hibiscus tea, so now I'll have that to make my sun tea. No caffeine! Yay!

      I wasn't really hungry for dinner yesterday, but I ate it anyway. Maybe I could IF after breakfast today. That would be amazing if I ate one meal a day. That would make life so simple. And not in a ED thinking kind of way.

      I did buy a Green & Black's 85% chocolate bar...and proceeded to eat the whole thing over the course of a few hours, and I felt a little ill. Okay, so that means 85% chocolate is out. Maybe Lindt's 90%? We'll see.

      UPDATE:

      I've been reading Sabine's journal, and I've seen how, for her, a little chocolate can turn into a full-blown craving for a banana split. That's how I feel right now. WANT CHOCOLATE. I'm gonna stay reading journal posts, but man. Who knew that for me chocolate was such a doozy?
      Last edited by kalli889; 05-20-2012, 08:43 AM.
      My Leptin Reset Journey


      Current BF%: 35
      Goal BF%: 20-23

      Comment


      • #63
        Small Goals

        As I've said, I've been reading Sabine's journal, and I really like the idea of small goals. Here are mine:

        Small weight goals:
        • 169 (to be under 170)
        • 159 (to be under 160)
        • 149 (to be back where I was when I first started gaining weight and thought I was enormous -- and one bf told me I had "an amazing body"
        • 146 (where I was when I moved to NYC in the middle of the holidays and had been eating sugar and wheat)
        • 140 (where I was after I'd been in NYC a month had had dropped 6 lbs just from walking)
        • 136 (a nice, easily maintained weight before I started having wheat, sugar, and coffee again)
        • 130 (my lowest weight -- if I have muscle and fit into a size 2/4 then I don't really care about this so much)


        Performance goals:
        • Do one real push up
        • Do 5 real push ups
        • Do 10 real push ups
        • Do one real pull up
        • Do 5 real pull ups
        • Do 2 minute planks
        • Circumnavigate Manhattan
        • Do a V6 climb (need a gym membership)
        • Skate around Prospect Park
        • Skate around Central Park


        Fun!
        My Leptin Reset Journey


        Current BF%: 35
        Goal BF%: 20-23

        Comment


        • #64
          I'm really tired on the weekends. For the past few weekends I've slept all day on Saturday. The day after I experimented with creme fraiche (SO good while it was happening), I felt like a zombie all the next day. (Total dairy hangover.) Yesterday I didn't sleep all day, but I DID stay in all day. My roommate asked me to go to galleries with her today, but I'm still so tired. Maybe if I cut coffee out for good, I won't be so tired anymore. I had a nice even rate of energy going last month when I was caffeine free. I can start a two-week taper today. (I still have gotu kola and gingko biloba to help with the taper!)

          No movies after dark is going to be tough...:-( I'm obsessed.
          My Leptin Reset Journey


          Current BF%: 35
          Goal BF%: 20-23

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          • #65
            Vegetables. I've started reading Gay Panda's threads, and Gay Panda loathes vegetables. I used to love vegetables, especially kale and brussels sprouts, but I am becoming disgusted by them. So strange!

            Here is someone who is a straight-up carnivore: The Carnivore’s Dilemma – A Diet of Just Meats and Fats? | The Primal Parent
            My Leptin Reset Journey


            Current BF%: 35
            Goal BF%: 20-23

            Comment


            • #66
              Breakfast: 2 chicken sausages, 2 pcs bacon, 2 eggs = 62g protein. 1 tbsp of coconut oil in green tea. And I had a smidgen of honey (I miss the sweetness of my mango black tea.) I think my breakfast is getting too rich for me, which is interesting. I don't salt my eggs any more, the bacon and sausages are salty enough. I got really bored eating it. I think maybe for June I'll do what my roommate does and have eggs over burger patties. With sauerkraut on the side. (Those are like the only veggies I want to eat right now, fermented ones.)

              I woke up twice in the middle of the night, but woke up at 5am without an alarm. Things that make you go HMMM...I had a pint of blueberries (so, of plant things, I still like berries) and a small bar of chocolate at around 7pm, so maybe that was what kept me up. I went to bed at 10, so that's only 3 hours after eating. After breakfast, I just laid in bed, wanting to go back to sleep, but knowing I have to get up for work. My Sleep Cycle makes a little graph for each night, and I wonder if the more restless points correspond to where my liver is detoxing a certain organ. I'd really like to get an allergy assay test done. I think it would be nice to know for sure what I am not compatible with.

              I think this month I'll buy more salmon. It brings my mood up to happy equanimity.
              My Leptin Reset Journey


              Current BF%: 35
              Goal BF%: 20-23

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              • #67
                Your journal is so interesting. I love the experiments you're running.

                I have found I'm not so tired on the weekends if I keep active. This weekend I did a lot of gardening (transplanted all of my container vegetables to the ground so they'll hopefully get bigger), planted a bunch of flowers in the now-empty pots, and did other active things outside. I think I spent 80% of the weekend outside in the sun. Felt good. Maybe you could doze in front of an open window? Or even better, on the balcony or fire escape??? lol
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                • #68
                  @jenn -- Thanks! For me, it's interesting too. I like being my own science experiment, seeing what works and what doesn't. What is weird is when my tastes change overnight. Last week -- LOVED sardines. Loved them. Ate them all the time. So easy. Pop a can open, put some brown mustard on them, scarf them down. This week? I brought sardines for lunch and I was going to pick up a salad. And I can't bear the thought of actually eating them. Or the salad. I am repulsed by them. HOW FASCINATING. This happened with spinach. One day I loved spinach the next I could not bear to look at it. I get seriously queasy here. I won't argue with it! I'll just go with it. Also, my love for brussels sprouts and kale is fading. I could probably still eat some steamed broccoli, with lemon squirted on it. That sounds good. I wonder if anyone makes fermented asparagus. Is asparagus just a big, fat grass? It looks like a grass. I could eat that.

                  So I guess today, I'll see if I can go without eating until tomorrow. A trial IF. My stomach growled last night and I got woozy, so I had the blueberries and chocolate. (I had breakfast for dinner, because I am lazy. So I'd had 62g of ptn then too.) If that happens again, all I'll have to eat are sardines (ICK), almonds, jerky and berries. Oh, ok, I have jerky to fall back on. I forgot about that.

                  This is quite new -- to not want to eat food. In my pre-PB days, I *needed* food every few hours. I snacked all day long, on "healthy" gluten-free snacks, which included organic blue corn chips and gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. I remember being able to eat a package of Oreos, or a bag of Tostito's. I was ostensibly gluten-free, but if I went too long without food, you'd better believe I was dashing into McDonald's for a burger and those fried apple pies. It was like my secret thing, McDonald's burgers. I brought one into my new apartment, in which we all eat kale and salmon, and I didn't want to eat it in front of anybody because I HAD BROUGHT MCDONALD'S INTO THE HOUSE. My roommates were very sweet, and they said, "No shame!" So I ate it, in the open. Now I walk by McDonald's every day. I walk by. I don't go in. I don't think about Oreos or corn chips. My roommate brings cupcakes in and I watch her eat them, and I don't plot to get my own. I do plot to get dark chocolate. I had a small 70% bar yesterday, and even that was too sweet. We have chocolate covered almonds at work. I've had a few handfuls of them since going primal.

                  One thing I like about my apartment is the "no shame" ethos. If you are going to eat it anyway, you may as well enjoy it without guilt. My newly primal roommate was taken to Le Cirque the other night and she ate a fabulously expensive non-primal meal. She said, "Is that okay? Am I not paleo anymore?" I told her about the 80/20 thing, and said, the point is to find something that is sustainable for you, and that if someone is going to take you out for a delicious non-Primal meal, then savor every bite!

                  I wonder if my disinterest in food is related to my cycle. I remember when I was with T, we NEVER cooked. And there was a certain point in my cycle where he'd asked me what I wanted to eat, and all I'd want were raspberries and nothing else for days. I guess we'll find out!
                  My Leptin Reset Journey


                  Current BF%: 35
                  Goal BF%: 20-23

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                  • #69
                    Our cycles do weird things to us... and while this was totally not related to my cycle, I have to tell you about it.

                    This was my lunch:
                    Hormel Naturals turkey breast slices with deli sliced colby jack cheese (they let me read the ingredients list) with sour cream (who woulda thought that would be good???)
                    A little BAS with pico and salsa for dressing (with eggs and peas?? really? How is THAT combo good??)

                    And right now I'm staring at a big jar of sauerkraut... bought with the rest of that stuff above. Odd combos... really odd combos. But nothing sounds tastier right now. lol

                    Do you think maybe your aversions could be caused by boredom?
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                    • #70
                      @jenn - No, I think it's my body telling me what it does and DOES NOT want. I've been eating spinach and kale for YEARS and I (used to) love them. I don't know why it wouldn't want greens, but it doesn't right now. Really. Does. Not. So any salads I might try might become a Deeply Resented Salad, a la Gay Panda. Actually, I felt ill all afternoon after the last salad I had (BAS with arugula). And ill after the last batch of brussels sprouts. (Which I used to have basically EVERY DAY.) And then I made sauteed kale, which I also used to eat every day (out of love, mind you), and it just sat there in the fridge. I would pull it out, reheat it, and then look at it in horror and eat some meat. I don't know what it is. Come to think of it, I felt like I had a brick in my stomach the last time I had sardines too. Just like that, I loved 'em and left 'em. I had a green smoothie last weekend and it gave me a (TMI) bathroom emergency. Very strange!

                      I had berries and nuts yesterday, and I was cranky, but I still didn't want to eat anything. Conundrum. I know I was cranky because I hadn't eaten much, yet I couldn't bear to eat anything big really. Then when I was going to bed, I thought of a roast chicken, with moist flesh and crisp skin. Mmmm...roast chicken. Warm and golden brown. So I guess on Friday, I'll buy myself a roast chicken as a treat, and maybe stock up on pastured chickens at the farmers market to roast myself. A steak would be nice too. A juicy, marinated steak, cooked on a grill. MMM...There is a place in Grand Central that is basically a fast-food steak place. (This is what is happening with our corn glut. Grain-fed steak is now fast food.) I know grass-fed is better, but I had a sample the other day and it was damn good. So I guess if I ever need steak in a pinch, I know where to go. (Brgr's grass-fed burgers are served in miserly portions for princely sums. I think the last time I went there I spent $18 on a burger with bacon and avocado on the side.)

                      Same breakfast this morning, 62 g ptn. Tasty, but yes, getting rich. I think I'm getting a little acid reflux going from something. I'll probably try to buy food week-to-week this month, because it's not worth it to stock up on something and then lose the taste for it. Can't stand coconut oil in my coffee anymore. Weird! Can't really stomach the idea of anything I brought for lunch again today either, so I'm eating a banana and almonds. Haven't had fruit in a while, but I am hungry, and it's not making me euphoric, although it probably is bringing my blood sugar up. I should get a blood sugar tester thing and see.

                      Woke without an alarm this morning...because either I forgot to set an alarm, or my alarm malfunctioned. Either way, GOOD AND/OR SCARY. But I was on time for work for once.

                      I'm not walking as much as I was last month. We've had heavy rains for the past few days. I've done Tabata push ups and Tabata squats and both are getting easier. I bought arnica massage oil for soreness (is that a cheat?), so that's been helpful. I think Robb Wolf says that upper body strength is SUPER important, so I'm focusing on pushups and pull ups. Can't really do anything but hang on the pull-up bar for now, but that's how I worked up to pull-ups last time, so I'll take it. Slow and steady wins the race. I bought a book called something like SEVEN WEEKS TO 100 PUSH UPS. I don't know that I'll get to 100 real push ups in 7 weeks, but I would like to get to ONE real push up. I made a little calendar at home for my push up workouts and put it up so I can see what I have to do every day. I do squats and pull ups whenever I want to/feel like it. I should do a little calendar for Long Slow Distances too. I really need a hardcopy planner (I like Uncalendars) because a planner that lives in my phone is a planner that goes unused.

                      Overall, my figure does look better - more hourglass, less apple, although still very firmly rooted in apple dimensions. My legs look better, my arms look better. I think my arms are down at least an inch, as are my legs. I miss my long slender well-muscled arms. Can't wait to have them back.

                      I hope that this month I'll be able to resolve my blackout curtain quest. I only want white things in my room, and I can only find khaki (ie - hideous) not-quite-blackout curtains. I also need a draft blocker and maybe foam weatherization tape on my door, because a lot of light gets in there. (One of my roommates is a night owl.) Maybe I'll ask one of my film lighting friends where to get blackout cloth, and just make something I can throw up at night with velcro.
                      My Leptin Reset Journey


                      Current BF%: 35
                      Goal BF%: 20-23

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Ugh, I just had 2 small Hershey's milk chocolate bars. My first milk chocolate in a month and a half. It tastes like...old milk. Old warm milk that's been souring in the sun. Or eating powdered milk mixed with chocolate milk. UGH. Gross. Never again! UGH.
                        My Leptin Reset Journey


                        Current BF%: 35
                        Goal BF%: 20-23

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          So, if you get black out curtains, how will you wake up with the sun in the morning?

                          You mentioned chocolate... now I want chocolate... *sigh*
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                            So, if you get black out curtains, how will you wake up with the sun in the morning?

                            You mentioned chocolate... now I want chocolate... *sigh*
                            I'm sorry! Don't do it! It's gross! Unless it's super dark chocolate. Only if you can handle it.

                            I think it might be oil. I think my body might not like oil. I just had coconut oil in my tea (blurgh), because I wanted to have SOMETHING primal-approved and I was getting bitchy. So I look back on when I've been totally grossed out by veggies: brussels sprouts -- wait. Just disproved my theory. Spinach = black swan. Spinach was untouched by oil. But I am getting seriously grossed out by oil. Sardines? In olive oil. Brussels Sprouts? Roasted in oil. Kale? Sauteed in oil. Coconut oil? Straight oil. HMMM. How am I supposed to eat high-fat without oil? Avocadoes! MMM...
                            My Leptin Reset Journey


                            Current BF%: 35
                            Goal BF%: 20-23

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              bacon grease???

                              Oh, and had no chocolate.
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                                bacon grease???

                                Oh, and had no chocolate.
                                MMM, bacon grease! Well, I had sardines for breakfast this morning and I did not die. They were fast and I woke up 1/2 hr before I was supposed to leave. I would love to have someone cook for me. And wake me up. And do my hair in the morning. Oh well.

                                I bought a new coral long-sleeved shift dres yesterday. It is a size 12. For a while I refused to buy any 12s because I could not believe that this had happened to me again. But I've caved, and I bought a new coral dress, and I feel quite pretty in it. Even if I'm wearing my glasses because my eyes hurt.

                                I ran wind sprints yesterday (8 sets: 20 secs running, 1 min walking) and did hangs on my pullup bar (8 sets, 10 secs hanging, 1 minute rest). That way I could finish each without punking out after the first round. Anyway, this morning I have plantar fasciitis in my left heel. Boo. So: a) I need to pull my stuff out of storage and get my Vibrams, and b) maybe it's too early in LR to exercise. There's this feeling that I NEED to be doing something to encourage my weight loss along. Plus I actually have SOME energy now, which is amazing in itself.

                                I do need more and better sleep. I slept like a rock last night, but I didn't get to bed until midnight and I woke up at 7. Sleeping like a rock = good, bed at midnight = could be better.

                                I think next month I'll try some of that Jay Robb (J. Robb?) egg protein mix for shakes so that I can have my full 50 g of protein in the am, even when I'm strapped for time. I got 15g this morning (1 can of sardines).

                                Sins of yesterday:
                                chocolate
                                cottage cheese

                                These could easily be avoided if I had enough food in my house that did not revolt me, or if I had a quick fix. So next month, egg protein shakes stashed at home and in my purse, a wealth of avocadoes, grass fed burgers for breakfast (or tacos! delicious tacos!), more salmon. More adventures on living frugally and primally. You know, I still like watercress. There's a green plant that I'm down with eating.

                                And I just realize that I totally left my lunch in its bag at home. Doh. It's like my unconscious mind is conspiring to not feed me. Maybe it is! HMMM.

                                So, short story. I've worked at [COMPANY] since February. I started as a temp, and was hired full-time starting in April. I also worked for them as a temp last year in October. When I worked for them last October, I weighed 160 lbs and was a size 8. (They had a scale in the kitchen, those masochists!) Which means that in the course of 3 months, I put on SEVENTEEN POUNDS. That's like 5.66 pounds a month. Maybe. (I won't check my math.) And my sister-in-law had lent me a pair of jeans to wear when I was visiting (because it went from SUPER HOT to FREEZING overnight, and they became My One Pair of Fat Jeans. Then, in January I went upstate to visit relatives, and upstate they only eat carbs and more carbs. It was a week of twice-baked potatoes, apple cobbler, pie, more pie, and pie. And when I came back I couldn't even zip up my fat jeans, much less button them. I suppose my fat jeans are 8s. They're 7 for All Mankind, so at least they're expensive and make my butt look good when I am an 8. When. So I will rename them, and they will become a new mini-goal of mine. To wear the Sexy Ass Jeans in public and without shame. With hotness. And flirtation. They are two sizes away. Two! Sizes! Away!

                                It would be so easy if I just went back on medication. But to go on medication is to risk insomnia and seizures. My meds basically tip me over into a mini-manic phase. I stay up late. I think I'm a genius. I am creatively productive (partially because I have so much time from not sleeping). I overspend. But I lose weight. Because it's kind of speed. In 15 years of being on them off and on, I have had only one seizure, but it was terrifying. Half my face felt numb and flabby and I felt drunk. I was alone, in midtown Manhattan, and I called two friends to come and get me. They sat with me and fed me gallons of water to flush it out.

                                I'd like to lose weight without the medication. I'd like to feel happy and productive without it too. I'm so stubborn. I don't want another seizure. I'll guess I'll keep doing this the not-so-easy (but healthy, non-seizure-inducing) way.
                                Last edited by kalli889; 05-24-2012, 06:06 AM.
                                My Leptin Reset Journey


                                Current BF%: 35
                                Goal BF%: 20-23

                                Comment

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