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I was used for my diet - a rant

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  • I was used for my diet - a rant

    Sorry, but I'm going to rant a bit. I give you far warning.

    So a few months ago I met this guy. He seemed pretty cool and we started dating. I told him about the primal life style. He has heard about it before, but didn't really know what it was. Anyways, I educated him. Had him read a few books. Cooked for him. Let him borrow my cook book. Etc. I got him lifting heavy things, walking more, got him to join martial arts.

    When I met him he wasn't fat, but he wasn't skinny either. Since getting him into the primal life style he has lost about 10lb of fat and gained probably the same in muscle. He now has a six pack and great defined muscles. However, the past month has been very hard on me. I started working a night job (which I had to quit because I found out I was allergic to it), I had a very bad cold (that the boy gave to me). It was the first time I was actually sick sick in a year. My dad was hospitalized etc. basically everything that could go wrong did go wrong. LOTS OF STRESS!! Caused me to gain 5lbs.

    The other day I asked the boy way he hasn't been as physical with me as we were in the past. He informed me that due to my weight gain of 5lbs (I know have a little tummy, but still a size 4), he doesn't find me as attractive anymore! Yes, he in fact did say this to me. To my face. Can you be used for your style of living?
    Last edited by Nix; 03-06-2012, 01:45 PM.
    Height: 5'2"
    Starting weight: 180lbs
    Current weight 130lbs

  • #2
    Wow... that's pretty shallow, but he might just be being honest too.

    I'm a much more extreme example here. I was very overweight for most of my late teens and twenties, and it wasn't until the last month or so that I started dropping into a weight class where I get smiles from women, my clothes fit well, I almost have no idea how to handle it at 30 years old because I've never experienced it before.

    That being said, get back on it, but I think you can do better than this guy.

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    • #3
      That sucks! But it sounds like a "good riddance to that a-hole" is in order. Wow!
      Ramblings of an Unamused Mouse (Lots of Food Porn, Too!)

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      • #4
        Yeah, I'm like really?! Can he be serious... its 5lbs! Due to an incredibly stress filled month. It's going to be gone in like two weeks... Ugh!

        I like the way you think Unamused Mouse.
        Height: 5'2"
        Starting weight: 180lbs
        Current weight 130lbs

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        • #5
          Not only is he shallow, but a complete a-hole for kicking you when you were already down. I hope things start to look up for ya, Nix. *hugs*
          Ramblings of an Unamused Mouse (Lots of Food Porn, Too!)

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          • #6
            Yeaaaaaaaaaaah. I mean, if someone's partner gained a lot, lot of weight, I really couldnt fault them for admitting to feeling a different level of attraction than they did before. But 5 pounds is barely any difference on anyone, unless youre super super petite. Sounds like a shallow douchetastic douche. Whether or not its a dealbreaker is your call, but if it was me, id drop his ass. Ive been emotionally jerked around by too many men to let that sort of thing slide.

            Im currently pretty lucky, I guess, in that I met my current boyfriend before I went paleo (I was actually at one of the heaviest weights ive ever been) so I know he loves me for me and any improvements in appearance ive gained is just a bonus.
            "Since going primal, I've found that there are very few problems that cannot be solved with butter and/or bacon fat."

            My amusing take on paleo-blogging: http://whatshouldwecallpaleolife.tumblr.com/

            Are you a Primal in San Francisco, or the SF Bay Area in general? Join our facebook group!

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            • #7
              5lbs?? my weight varies by 5lbs depending on when i last took a dump. Find someone else, even if you were to get past this it'll get worse down the road.

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              • #8
                I'll probably regret this, but here goes.

                Let's say there *were* noticeable physical changes that accompanied the 5lb weight (that is NOT so much the weight gain but the physical change that CAN be bigger than the 5lbs would explain...

                I am not sure if this is what happened, but I've SEEN it happen on me. I've lost 10 lbs but feel like "look" better than having lost 10 lbs. I've also had it happen in reverse... You mentioned high stress and other factors which *could* be causing changes to the appearance unrelated to the number on the scale.

                Now IF this is what's happened here and, for whatever reason, the physical change (not so much the arbitrary # of lbs) has *honestly* caused him to not be as physically attracted to you...

                What exactly is he supposed to do? LIE? You seem to have specifically asked why he was not as interested in you physically as before. Now, you didn't say whether or not you asked if he was attracted to you in non-physical ways or if you did ask what/how he responded. Physical attraction can ebb and flow based on circumstances, but the other forms of attraction should still be there. If that's the case for him and it's just a temporary ebb in the physical attraction, I don't think you can beat him up for it...

                Now, I'll let everyone get back to your schedule man bashing.
                Re-focusing on the Primal Lifestyle in 2012!

                Starting: 221.0lb, 29.5% BF (1/9/2012)
                Latest: 208.9, 26.1% BF (3/19/2012)

                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread35679.html

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                • #9
                  it's not the 5lbs...it's something else and he is too chicken to say. sprint away!
                  (and if it WAS the 5lbs...not putting it out there...but what would he do if something that you could not change happened?!)

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                  • #10
                    It's not man-bashing, it's shallow a-hole bashing. Of course it's your prerogative to take it however you like...lol
                    Ramblings of an Unamused Mouse (Lots of Food Porn, Too!)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Unamused Mouse View Post
                      That sucks! But it sounds like a "good riddance to that a-hole" is in order. Wow!
                      I'm agree with Mouse's assessment.
                      There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

                      My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

                      The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

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                      • #12
                        If I gained 5lbs because I purely let myself go. I would accept it, whatever. However, with all the other stuff, and honestly its just stress weight on my waist that will be off in a few weeks and I'll go right back down to 120lb. The problem here is that instead of being understanding and sympathetic to the situation it was straight to "well you're not as thin as you were when I first met you". So, it's not man bashing. It's a-hole bashing. Kick'm when they're down types.
                        Height: 5'2"
                        Starting weight: 180lbs
                        Current weight 130lbs

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                        • #13
                          Men say stupid things when they're losing interest.

                          Seems to me like you've got a lot to offer. Pretty, smart, health conscious. You can do better.
                          "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host

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                          • #14
                            Oh, flippin' horrors, you went to 125#, how terrible. Dude's all compassion. What a keeper. /sarcasm

                            You're young, you're lovely, you're primal. Push this caveman off a cliff and don't look back.

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                            • #15
                              Dump him.
                              He might have SAID, "You're not as attractive to me any more," but here's what you should HEAR:
                              "I'm the kind of guy who will take from you, but when you need something (emotional support, cooking a healthy meal for YOU for a change when you're having a hard time, a hug and a good roll in the hay) I'll look for a way to leave, especially if it is a way that makes you feel bad about yourself, instead of seeing me for what I am."
                              We all meet 'em. Move on.

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