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I was used for my diet - a rant

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Nix View Post
    Actually the 'grass is greener' might not be far off either. He was telling me how he never felt attractive etc. until now. Which doesn't say much for him if he thinks he can do better.
    Corrected your obvious typo
    If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.

    Originally posted by tfarny
    If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

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    • #32
      I used to get angry when I heard stuff like that. Now I just say "Thank you".

      Thank you for letting me know that you're shallow up front, before we signed any legal papers.

      Thank you for being a flake before I actually had to rely on you more than I needed to today.

      Thank you for letting me know you are NOT the one, and for giving me that extra little push to find someone that thinks I'm wonderful.

      And now I have a good one!

      So a big Thank You to all of my exes that were asses. And my boyfriend thanks you too.
      Durp.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by RitaRose View Post
        I used to get angry when I heard stuff like that. Now I just say "Thank you".

        Thank you for letting me know that you're shallow up front, before we signed any legal papers.

        Thank you for being a flake before I actually had to rely on you more than I needed to today.

        Thank you for letting me know you are NOT the one, and for giving me that extra little push to find someone that thinks I'm wonderful.

        And now I have a good one!

        So a big Thank You to all of my exes that were asses. And my boyfriend thanks you too.
        OH this post is just perfect.

        To the original poster,

        I started dating someone who has met me in the middle of my weight loss. But I don't have 5 lbs to lose. More like 30 to 40. And he has flat out admitted he is not very attracted to me, about after a month of getting to know each other he admitted this. Am I dating him now? Yes. Truthfully, he laid out a long unconventional conversation telling me how much he likes everything else about me, and will support me with the weight loss but doesn't feel the attraction until that point. He thinks I'm "worth the wait" I suppose.

        Now I'm 2 degrees left from telling him to go f*ck himself, 2 degrees right from finally telling him he can be my boyfriend. Which he wants. I'm not sure if his brutal honesty is a good or bad thing. It's toying with my childhood romanticism, and I can't decide what to do. In the mean time we haven't gone "all the way" (wink wink) and we all know exactly why. No shit.

        A bit of a different situation in specifics, but similar in this: if you let this go and just wait until you lose the 5 lbs, you are essentially nonverbally contracting yourself to a certain standard your significant other expects you to maintain. By silently losing the 5 lbs, you do this. Are you comfortable with that? It doesn't really matter what others think. It's what YOU are comfortable with.

        Just like you said, if you gained 5 lbs by way of "letting yourself go," you would understand his complaints. So you do have a certain standard for yourself that similarly agrees with his standard of you. However, your understandable reason for this stress-induced gain doesn't register in his mind. A 5 lb weight gain is a 5 lb weight gain to him, and I don't think his physical attraction (which is far more physical for guys than emotional) will distinguish between a stress-induced gain or otherwise.

        Just a lot to ponder over. Now, my 2 cents about YOUR man (not my man). 5 lbs is such a tiny weight gain, I can't imagine silently contracting myself to that standard. My weight fluctuates +/- 5 lbs. And a size 4? That's perfect. If he is turned off by that weight gain, that's just SHALLOW. Doesn't matter what the circumstances. Even if you deliberately gained the weight. Guys can't notice if you cut your hair but they'll notice 5 lbs? No no no.

        I did a bad job of wrapping my response up in a neat bow but all my 2 cents is in jambles. See above.
        Last edited by kcarol; 03-06-2012, 09:44 PM.

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        • #34
          I think ritarose's post is great. "Thank you for showing me what a douchewaffle you are."

          You could add "You being a self-centred jerk is a turn off for me, it's not surprising we are less physical than we used to be"
          My photo diary of my primal diet on wordpress

          My primal journal on MDA.

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          • #35
            How did he even know you gained 5lbs?

            If you're still with him, change whatever tipped him off and triggered his asshole reflex and then dump him. Preferably when he's asking for sex. "You really think I'm sexy again? Thanks so much! You need to leave now. I'll bring your stuff over on the weekend."

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            • #36
              I dunno, when I find myself attracted to someone I look past all sorts of defects (whether I should is another question - LOL). If someone felt I was unattractive because I weighed too much I would feel very insecure about how deep their feelings were and whether they would stick around when life got tough (as it often does).
              My website: http://www.shoppinganywhere.net/

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              • #37
                Originally posted by tim_1522 View Post
                Now, I'll let everyone get back to your schedule man bashing.
                douchebags come in every gender, no need to be defensive
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Silky View Post
                  I think ritarose's post is great. "Thank you for showing me what a douchewaffle you are."

                  You could add "You being a self-centred jerk is a turn off for me, it's not surprising we are less physical than we used to be"
                  Excellent. LOL @ douchewaffle, new one to me!

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by tcb View Post
                    5lbs?? my weight varies by 5lbs depending on when i last took a dump. Find someone else, even if you were to get past this it'll get worse down the road.
                    Holy crap, I almost shot tea out of my nose.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by sapphire_chan View Post
                      If you're still with him, change whatever tipped him off and triggered his asshole reflex and then dump him. Preferably when he's asking for sex. "You really think I'm sexy again? Thanks so much! You need to leave now. I'll bring your stuff over on the weekend."
                      Oh that is harsh. I had an ex do that to me once. I think we both knew it was over and I was weaseling to get one last go and she played along and then slammed the door... so to speak.
                      "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host

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                      • #41
                        Totally ot, but Nix, I have a friend that lives in Alfred, NY! He's a chemistry professor at the university. Small world.

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                        • #42
                          Not necessarily off topic- is he single and sensible?
                          http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                          Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                          And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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                          • #43
                            Um...single yes. He's Long Island Italian, and a little wacky (ok, really wacky). What else do you expect from us PhD chemists? We're all a little off

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                            • #44
                              Well that's why I asked if he was sensible instead of smart. I figured smart was a given But as long as his whack is compatible with hers . . .
                              http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                              Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                              And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by drssgchic View Post
                                But as long as his whack is compatible with hers . . .
                                Erm, so to speak...

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