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I don't understand my parents.

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  • I don't understand my parents.

    They've seen my brother and me, in the past three months, collectively drop nearly 100 lbs, by eating large portions of bacon, butter, beef, cheese, fresh fruits and vegetables, cooked with plentiful seasonings, salts, nuts, and healthy oils. Working out minimally. And they refuse to try it.

    My mom has been trying to lose weight for years, but she always finds a way to fail. She likes fad diets, and everything she tries is unsustainable. She always ends up cheating and relapsing into unhealthy eating. She's adopted some healthy habits, but she believes in a "balanced diet", meaning a balance of what I consider (backed by scientific research) to be good and bad foods.

    My dad has been overweight for a long time, but never does shit about it. His dad just had a stroke a few years ago, and he's headed down the same path and I'm sure he knows it. He snacks on pretzels, chips, whatever, and drinks every day. He pops a fantastic collection of pills every day, for blood thinning, cholesterol, whatever. Utter toxic crap. This is a man who LOVES MEAT. Why won't he try it?

    Both of my parents just started this "Good Measure Meals" program where they purchased expensive packaged "gourmet" meals for the month. Full of things like whole wheat bread, oatmeal, low-fat cottage cheese, you know, standard bullshit. I know the science. I've explained to them what those carbs do. I've explained to my dad exactly the reason why he is pre-diabetic. Why can't I get through to them? I guess they don't want to take diet advice from a twenty year old. (nevermind that his major is health science)

    MDA, how can I get my parents to try the Primal lifestyle? Twenty one days. That's all I ask.
    this great blue world of ours seems a house of leaves, moments before the wind

  • #2
    We feel for you (wo)man.

    The older you get, the more stuck in your ways you become I suppose. Also, marketing in this country is so genius (yet evil) that most people have too hard a time listening to anything that doesn't come with a kewl fast-paced commercial or some other bullshit. Have you seen the latest "Jenny" (jenny craig I assume) commercial? it's got middle aged women dancing around, saying stupid fucking shit like "I LIKE MY COOKIES" "I LIKE MY PASTA" "I LIKE MY BAGELS" with obnoxious music in the background. Then proudly being like "THIS IS MY JENNY wooo!!!" and I swear, it makes me want to stab them in the heart because all I hear is "I don't care if these foods are shitty, as long as I'm slim, yayyy!!" and that's the message delivered to people like your parents.

    My gf's mom is similar to your folks, though she isn't big (thanks to family genetics) she reads ALL THE TIME, always has novels around the house, etc, but she won't take time to read the PB. We're going to leave "Why we get fat" around so curiosity gets the best of her. I don't agree with that book entirely, but if all she takes away from it are that cookies, bagels and other sugary bullshit make her fat, or make fat loss more difficult, that'd be one small battle won.

    I'm not sure what to tell you based on what you've tried. Maybe a heartfelt letter to each of them, with a "unless you approach me, this is the last you'll hear me nagging. You always did what you thought was best for me. I would love an opportunity to return the favor. Give me one month, we'll take it slow and I guarantee you'll love the food." If that doesn't do it, there's unfortunately not much else left for you to do. Get them excited about it, focus on what they CAN eat, and the things they CAN do and highlight the things they don't have to do (excessive exercise) shit, ask them if you can cook for them for the month so they don't have to.

    My mom had to have an episode of hypertension before she decided to eat a little better, she is out of the country right now and likely not going to eat too well but when she gets back it's back to business.
    I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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    • #3
      It's the "Powdered Butt" Syndrome.

      Once somebody's powdered your butt, there are some things they don't really want your opinion on. Money, sex, and diet seem to be the top 3.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Diana Renata View Post
        It's the "Powdered Butt" Syndrome.

        Once somebody's powdered your butt, there are some things they don't really want your opinion on. Money, sex, and diet seem to be the top 3.
        Hm, yeah my mom is always saying "did you give birth to me?!" in Spanish when she's tired of my nagging.
        I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by iniQuity View Post
          Hm, yeah my mom is always saying "did you give birth to me?!" in Spanish when she's tired of my nagging.
          ughhhhhh

          and then parents turn around and expect to be taken care of by their children in the end. maybe THEN we can feed them primal and they can't do shit about it? "you're in MY house and these are MY rules..." aahahaha

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          • #6
            Originally posted by JennaRose View Post
            ughhhhhh

            and then parents turn around and expect to be taken care of by their children in the end. maybe THEN we can feed them primal and they can't do shit about it? "you're in MY house and these are MY rules..." aahahaha
            +1!

            Wait... my daughter eats CW all the way... or no! I BETTER keep my health!

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            • #7
              bdilla ,

              Your only hope is to buy the book, "Wheat Belly" and give it to your parents to read. They will believe the author, Cardiologist Dr. Wm Davis, but they won't believe whatever you say.
              Wheat Belly | Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight

              Grizz

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              • #8
                bdilla ,

                Your only hope is to buy the book, "Wheat Belly" and give it to your parents to read. They will believe the author, Cardiologist Dr. Wm Davis, but they won't believe whatever you say.
                Wheat Belly | Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight

                Grizz

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                • #9
                  I think people have a hard time believing that everything they've been told by doctors, the government, media, etc., is wrong. Personally, I had a hard time grasping that the Canada Food Guide would be so misleading. "The government wouldn't do anything that would harm me like that. There's good science behind the food guide." Typical CW.

                  They may or may not come around. There's nothing you can do but keep being yourself. Maybe they'll figure it out.
                  There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

                  My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

                  The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Grizz View Post
                    bdilla ,

                    Your only hope is to buy the book, "Wheat Belly" and give it to your parents to read. They will believe the author, Cardiologist Dr. Wm Davis, but they won't believe whatever you say.
                    Wheat Belly | Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight

                    Grizz
                    I doubt its their *only* hope, but I do have to second Grizz's suggestion. My mom was a hard sell when I was telling her what I was doing, even when she saw my progress. I loaned her Wheat Belly to read because A) it cites a lot of research, which shes smart enough to interpret and trust over vauge unfounded advice, and 2) its very accessible, much easier to read than Good Calories Bad Calories (although I havent read Why We Get Fat which ive heard is like GCBC Light). Anyway, after starting to read the book she was convinced to just try gluten free, and made huge improvements within 1-2 weeks. Then she started taking everything I sent or recommended to her a lot more seriously.

                    If your parents super scoff at reading, then Id recommend the movie Fathead, on Netflix streaming and Amazon streaming. Its not as in-depth as many of the books and sources out here, but its entertaining and has some summaries/animations of the biology of carbohydrates and how they effect health that are VERY good at getting these complex ideas across.
                    "Since going primal, I've found that there are very few problems that cannot be solved with butter and/or bacon fat."

                    My amusing take on paleo-blogging: http://whatshouldwecallpaleolife.tumblr.com/

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                    • #11
                      My mom at least is definitely more inclined to believe ANY doctor, so Wheat Belly (were it in Espanol) would be a good one for her. Unfortunate that there yet isn't a primal book in Spanish... that I know of at least..
                      I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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                      • #12
                        My parents are the same way. My mom has been going to the gym 5 days a week for the last 2 years but her weight doesn't seem to change. She believes in the "everything in moderation" diet but I have explained to her that she needs to do some research and not simply rely on what her mother did 40+ years ago.

                        I will try Wheat Belly and see if she bites.
                        My Leangains Journey

                        Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

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                        • #13
                          I feel your pain. My husband has read The Paleo Solution, Primal Blueprint and Wheat Belly. He's seen my weight drop back to normal (scary fast) and my health, energy, outlook and productivity vastly improve. But he still wants bread and baked goods. He was tested pre-diabetic (120) and did give up sugar but for some reason he can't, or won't, make the grains/insulin/otherbadshit connection. I don't get it.

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                          • #14
                            LJH, at least your husband has read the books. Mine introduced me to the idea of paleo eating because he's a self-taught paleolithic anthropologist and he thought the idea was good. Yet he won't read up on the diet himself, or follow it with me... and hes the one that is pre-diabetic, overweight, lethargic, taking pills for mental health, high blood pressure and cholesterol ... Men .... sometimes I think I need to club him over the head and drag him back into the cave ...
                            "For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks." - Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

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                            • #15
                              There is some hope for conquering the powdered butt syndrome. Tell them you've been reviewing the research on food and fitness, you've come across some really interesting stuff, and that you respect their opinion. Ask if they'll do you a favor, look it over and let you know their honest opinion on if they think it makes sense and you should continue with it. Often that will at least open the door- it keeps them in their "mental superiority" comfort zone, while beginning to get your point across. Then if and when it makes sense and they approve, it was "their own wisdom" that got them there and thus not a blow to their pride.
                              Human nature is a funny thing.
                              You don't have to be sick to get better.
                              Female, 31 years old, 5'8"
                              Primal start: 1/2/2012
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                              Living, loving and learning.

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