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A cry for help

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  • A cry for help

    I'm 210 pounds. I want to be around 130-145. I'm a bored eater, but can't seem to break the habit myself. Part of why I lost a few pounds/maintained decently over the last two years is because I was smoking in place of food. I like to snack when I'm reading and when i'm watching TV or movies on my computer. Anytime my hands are idle i feel like i need to snack, as when i was a smoker, i would chain smoke. I have a membership to a gym, and I am going 3 days a week, although i only went once this week. My mother goes with me, and I know that she will help push me when i'm there. I can't take advice from her about food, nor does her trying to push me do anything aside from piss me off, because she's skinny without trying, and her body works differently with foods than mine does. I need support from somebody who truely understands my struggle and can give me advice that really works. Not somebody who's been skinny from birth, or who had a degree, therefore thinks they know what i need. (not to downplay an education, but thats not all it takes to help somebody in this kind of situation.)

    Foods that I should be eating:
    fresh vegitables

    Foods I should not be eating:
    grains of any kind
    processed sugars including but not limited to: cain, corn, and anything made with the such
    McDonalds (even in the guise of eggs and coffee for breakfast)
    fast food of any kind (even chicken)
    fried rice (no matter how delicious [Kobe's])
    doughnuts (eh, easy enough really)

    Foods I like
    chicken (sometimes)
    ground beef (very rarely)
    real cheese
    red grapes
    eggs (only scrambled, though)

    Foods I don't like:
    ground beef (most of the time)
    organ meats
    fish (although willing to try it)

    this is the diet that i'm trying to follow. Mark's Daily Apple I like this diet. I was on it for a week, and in that short amount of time, i felt more energy though the day, easier to wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night, and i even lost about 3 or 4 pounds. I only stopped because i ran out of approved food (meat and veggies) and it was either eat grains or starve. Since then, i've struggled to get back into the swing of it. I can't seem to make myself get up early enough to make breakfast (and lets face it, eggs just don't taste good re-heated) and even when i did try to make enough food to last me a week, i after two days i didn't want to eat the food i'd prepared. I wanted something different. I find it hard to find the time to cook, and I only really have two good choices for eating out, neither of which i can get at the park. and when i do find the time to cook, I get lazy. i don't feel like doing it. I don't want to cook. I know i need to, but I don't want to. I can't seem to get out from under this curse that makes me unable to do the things i know i need to be doing. I can make a meal and exersize plan for every day of the week, and I can guarentee you that whatever this spell is that i'm under will cause me to not feel like doing it. I need somebody there to help push me past the I don't want to. Somebody to help me get into a good habit with my diet and my exersize. I know eventually i'll have to do it on my own, but by that point, it will all be second nature, it won't be a big deal. Somebody out there, please, help me with this. I don't want to be that person that people see ordering food or shopping for grocries, and they think "she doesn't need to be eating that. give her some carrots instead". I already feel like poeple look at me like that.

    If there is anybody in the Clarksville/Jeffersonville Indiana area who would be willing to be my "food coach" or whatever it would be called (without charging an obsene amount of money [i still have a lot of bills to pay and food to buy]) please send me a message on here. I need all the help i can get.
    A rose by any other name.

  • #2
    What kind of future do you want? Are you ok with dying of a heart attack, cancer, damage from diabetes, or other preventable illness in your 50s or 60s?

    Do you plan to have children? Do you want to live long enough to see your grandchildren grow up?

    Do you want to be physically active for a long time? Or is it ok to have physical issues that leave you sitting in front of the tv?

    Do you know what it is like to have a heart attack? It's like someone put your chest in a vice and started turning the handle.

    Do you know what it is like to go on vacation somewhere like New Orleans and spend most of the time in a bleak hospital room because of congestive heart failure, with the docs saying it is good you didn't wait a couple more hours or it would have been touch and go?

    On the other hand, can you imagine what it is like, having gone through those last two events, to feel great and be very healthy after a year on primal?

    Tough love isn't usually my style but I hope this gets you thinking.

    It's not about getting back on the wagon. It's about getting in the driver's seat.

    I just did a Primal:Fail blog post but it may not address your issues.
    Ancestral Health Info

    I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

    Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.


    • #3
      I know what its like to have somebody you love die from those disorders. my father's heart literally exploded in his chest when i was 6. my grandfather died of lung cancer. my grandmother can hardly walk without getting badly out of breath and has had 3 heart bipass surgeries. I know what i have to risk in my future if i don't do what i need to do while i still have the chance. for some reason, the thought of dying like my father did is not enough of a kick in the ass on its own. I want to be able to have a long future with my boyfriend. Part of it, though, might be that he is tired all the time, and a little out of shape, albiet in far better shape that i am (he metal detects and digs privvy's all the time). I've tried to convince him that he should try this diet with me, but he wont. i even tried playing the "for our future" card. and i think that maybe his unwillingness to give it a try (although he does support my attempts in it) makes me wonder if its even worth it.
      A rose by any other name.


      • #4

        I'd suggest having a read through here first, just to see what can be achieved: Success Stories | Mark's Daily Apple

        You don't have to eat eggs for breakfast if you don't want to, if I'm in a rush I'll just grab some greek yoghurt or a few boiled eggs I keep in the fridge for quick food, or some biltong/jerky and an apple, the list goes on and on. There's loads of recipes here: Primal Blueprint Recipes | Mark's Daily Apple Health and Fitness Forum page

        Don't forget that any apathy, depression or tiredness you're feeling is probably mostly down to your diet and once you start on this that'll improve!

        Do it, bite the bullet, take the bull by the horns and commit to it as I want to see that butterfly at the other end of the scale!
        Starting weight: 104.5 kg / 230 lbs (29th July 2011)
        100.5kg / 221 lbs (5th August 2011)
        Currently: 99.2kg / 218.6 lbs (23rd September 2011)

        Twitter: @jon404


        • #5
          If you can't wake up in time to make breakfast, skip it. Are you working out first thing in the morning? If not, you probably don't need the food.

          Also, it is not that hard to buy primal in the market. Pile up a ton of veggies, buy some eggs, some good meats, and just plain don't buy grains/sugars/etc. Mark even has a shopping list on this site that outlines exactly what to do. As for finding time to cook, it's something you have to make time to do. If you spend a couple hours watching TV/surfing the web each day, you can cook by cutting 15 min or less off said activity. Seriously, throwing veggies into a bowl of eggs and cooking to doneness takes 5 minutes tops. Salting and searing a steak takes 2-3 min per side. Making a big salad takes 2 minutes, maybe 5 if you have to some chopping.

          In terms of eating out, just don't. Or take a fast if you go out with friends.

          As for motivation issues i.e. "I need to but don't want to," this is not something anyone can help you with. If you aren't motivated to make a positive change in your life, then you wont. Having someone yell to do the right thing only makes people ornery and resistant. It's called self-motivation because we can't give it to you.

          In the end, I really don't mean to sound harsh, but you have to just do it. My advice would be to start small if you have trouble diving off the deep end, and gradually make the whole change. You will probably get more motivation as each baby step changes your life for the better.

          Good luck.


          • #6
            I don't buy grains, but my mom does. I still live at home. i'm no where near able to afford to move out, and she's not going to stop buying the things she wants to eat just because i'm not eating them anymore.
            A rose by any other name.


            • #7
              I lost a LOT of weight 4 years ago....almost 100 pounds if you count my heaviest weight throughout my life. I was always a yo-yo dieter, and except for some that creeped back on in the past 12 months, I have kept it off. I was just so sick of being sick all the time and I watched my father literally kill himself via Type II Diabetes when he refused to change his diet and died right before his 54th birthday. He missed all of his wonderful grandchildren, one of which is my amazing son!

              What do you want? I can only speak for myself and what I wanted was to be fit and active. I started paying close attention to people who were fit and active and I started doing what they did. I went walking at a place where they were walking, jogging, roller blading, riding bikes. It motivated me to watch them. It all kind of snowballed from there.

              If you don't know what you want at this point then focus on what you DON'T want and go from there to identify what you do want.

              Don't give up. It is a process and takes time to make drastic changes. And most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF!

              Good luck.
              Knee deep in the water somewhere got the blue sky breeze blowin' wind thru my hair only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair. Zack Brown Band


              • #8
                See, i'm the opposite. it doesn't modivate me to see these people working out, or see them doing the things i cant. At first i have the mans mindset of "pshaw, i can do that, too" and i'll go at it, and then fail or hurt myself or not do as well, and even after a couple tries, i'll start to feel like i can never get to where these people are. i know that when it came to quitting smoking, i never had any real modivation. i thought, eh, whats the damn point. Well, when Justin came into my life, he gave me a reason. I said i was going to try to quit, and he supported me. he asked me to think of our future together, and that helped. now, i've asked him to do this diet with me before, and he said he doesn't want to. that he doesnt think it will help with his sleep or his heartburn and he likes his diet the way it is. i've tried to pull the same card on him that he pulled on me, but it didn't work. this is the message i sent him earlier today.

                Sweetheart, can i ask you a favor? I want you to give this diet a try with me. I feel like, I quit smoking to insure our future together, I want you to do this for me to insure our equal health in our future. I honestly think it will help with your sleep (or lack there of), your heartburn, your energy. And if i knew i had the person i plan to spend the rest of my life with working at it with me, and being there to keep me on the horse while i do the same for them, i feel like it would work better. It's an inner conflict i have going on. I know that for my own personal health reasons i need to focus on this 100% and get healthy, but at the same time, i feel like, if the person i love and want to spend my life with is content with things the way they are now, what is the point in trying. Does that make sense? I'm not wanting to make you feel bad. I know you support my efforts baby, but it's kind of like, i'm doing all this to better myself and help myself live longer, i want you to do the same. I don't want you to die before me of some health issue that could possibly have been avoided had you tried a diet so many years before. Make sense? We can talk about it later if you like. Just please think about it. I need help with this. I can't do it alone, and passive support isn't working.

                If he loves me the way that i am and is happy with things the way they are, then i have no real modivation, but at the same time, i know that i need to to improve myself for me, not just for him. Doing something for myself has never been enough modivation, though. I couldn't quit smoking when it was just for me, because frankly i liked my cigarettes. I still miss it sometimes, but not that badly. The idea of having a longer future with justin was the modivation that i needed to help. somehow my grandfather dying of lung cancer due to smoking wasn't enough.
                A rose by any other name.


                • #9
                  YOU need to have motivation to make yourself better for YOU. Not for your boyfriend.
                  Just b/c he's happy with how you are, YOU obviously are not.
                  If the people in your life don't want to support you in this, then screw them. YOU do it. I know it's easier when you have support, but it doesn't sound like you're going to get it. Are you going to let that stop you from getting healthier or are you just using it as another excuse to stick with the unhealthy life you're living now?
                  No one is going to be able to tell you anything to get you motivated. You're going to have to do it yourself and stop making so many excuses not to.

                  I quit smoking years ago and let me tell ya, that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. If you can do that, then you can change your diet.
                  As you can see from my sig, I'm still quite overweight and have a lot more to lose so I'm def not a skinny person trying to tell you what to do lol.
                  I hate exercising, and I love my sugary carby junk, but I know eating primally and working out will make me healthier.
                  You have to do this for yourself and no one else. Maybe once you start back and start seeing results, your boyfriend will join you, but if he doesn't, then it's his loss.
                  DD born August 2012
                  TTC #2
                  SW: 1/20/14- 212.4
                  CW: 2/21/14- 202.6 (9.8 loss)
                  Goal: Short term, get below 200 and get pregnant. Long term, get to 120-130
                  Mini goal, get in to a size 12.

                  My boring uneventful journal for your viewing pleasure


                  • #10
                    You know, you don't have to tell him he's eating primal, just stick the bacon and eggs under his nose and tell him you're out of bacon

                    As LisaLS says - do it for yourself, not your boyfriend.
                    Starting weight: 104.5 kg / 230 lbs (29th July 2011)
                    100.5kg / 221 lbs (5th August 2011)
                    Currently: 99.2kg / 218.6 lbs (23rd September 2011)

                    Twitter: @jon404


                    • #11
                      That made no sense. stick the bacon and eggs under his nose and tell him your out of bacon? lol. he has a somewhat legit excuse for not doing the diet with me. he still lives at home as well, and his dad is high carb no fat, and anytime he buys food and puts it in the fridge, somebody eats it, regardless of what it is. So he has no real way of doing it.
                      A rose by any other name.


                      • #12
                        I kind of understand where you're coming from but it sounds like you're defeating yourself more than anything else. If this is something you truly want to accomplish - Just do it. As Yoda once said, long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far way:
                        Do or do not, there is no try.
                        There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

                        My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

                        The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!


                        • #13
                          What Lisa wrote is good advice, rabraham, BUT your message to Justin is very beautiful. I hope he takes it to heart and joins you in doing primal.
                          Ancestral Health Info

                          I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

                          Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.


                          • #14
                            Pick up knitting!I learned to knit after I quit smoking to keep from being bored and for something to give attention too. Better then food and you get to make cool things!


                            • #15
                              I tried knitting, and I am far from coordinated enough for it. I can crochet, but i get bored with it very easy. i'm working on a story i wrote for creative writing, trying to make it longer and improve the storyline. i hope to get it published. That's giving me something to do at work, and it helps a little. but i still find myself snacking while i work.
                              A rose by any other name.