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  • Cooking Fails

    So I thought it would be fun to post humorous cooking fails/learning experiences. They probably weren't funny at the time, but they may be now. I'll start.

    Today:
    hot olive oil in pan splashing on to sunburned face cuz I'm a dork
    --Trish (Bork)
    TROPICAL TRADITIONS REFERRAL # 7625207
    http://pregnantdiabetic.blogspot.com
    FOOD PORN BLOG! http://theprimaljunkfoodie.blogspot.com

  • #2
    Last night tried doing roasted pumpkin. Burnt my finger and cut the other. My pumpkin came out half baked i think. Some pieces were pretty hard but i ate it all anyway

    I slopped on coconut oil with a teaspoon on each piece, felt really wrong doing it like that but oh well it's all about learning for a first time cook like me.

    Comment


    • #3
      technically that's just a goof, not really a cooking fail.

      Most of my cooking fails are related to not "knowing" meat, as in, certain cuts I don't know how to cook so well. I'm also rather impatient and prefer to just cook things quickly, so I've learned that pork loins, gizzards and shoulder cuts (and others I'm forgetting) should not be included in stir-frys.
      I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

      Comment


      • #4
        making my first paleo meal (coming from vegetarian), i was heating up a pan of butter on the stove for some eggs. while waiting for that to heat up, i was washing some dishes. i dropped a wine glass into the sink and it broke against another dish. so i scooped up the broken pieces and swiftly turned toward that garbage can to toss is (small kitchen) and my arm bumped the hot frying pan and it fell to the ground while grazing my arm on the way down creating the largest burn i've ever had. this was october, its now almost june and the burn isnt quite gone still. :C incroyable!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by iniQuity View Post
          technically that's just a goof, not really a cooking fail.

          Most of my cooking fails are related to not "knowing" meat, as in, certain cuts I don't know how to cook so well. I'm also rather impatient and prefer to just cook things quickly, so I've learned that pork loins, gizzards and shoulder cuts (and others I'm forgetting) should not be included in stir-frys.
          yikes! I've cut meat wrongly before and ended up chewing on tough meat lol yuckkk

          Comment


          • #6
            Reversing the salt/sugar ratio to cookies once(Pre-Primal of course). Complete and utter brainfart!
            Free your mind, and your Grok will follow!

            Comment


            • #7
              trying to make boiled eggs with eggies, not knowing you're supposed to grease em up first

              i always always ALWAYS burn something or make something taste bad when i'm cooking for other people
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                trying to make boiled eggs with eggies, not knowing you're supposed to grease em up first

                i always always ALWAYS burn something or make something taste bad when i'm cooking for other people
                what do you mean grease them up? Are we talking about hard boiled eggs? I just throw mine in the bubbling water.
                --Trish (Bork)
                TROPICAL TRADITIONS REFERRAL # 7625207
                http://pregnantdiabetic.blogspot.com
                FOOD PORN BLOG! http://theprimaljunkfoodie.blogspot.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  i buy brown eggs with really thick shells, it's a giant pain in the ask to peel them so i decided to give eggies a try
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Lovely pork belly forgotten over a charcoal fire for about 3 hours - there were just tiny little black charred bits left

                    I made a huge meatloaf once with "hidden" liver in it - the whole thing went in the trash - it was horrible.

                    One of the stupidest moments I have had cooking was making egg bakes for a large group of people. I finished cracking about 2 dozen eggs and realized I was cracking the eggs in to the sink and putting the shells in the bowl
                    Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

                    http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      for years i tried braising arm roast, and stopped the cooking when it started to get tough. i eventually gave up thinking that it was something i'd never figure out. finally i tried again, this time cooking it for hours after it had already gotten tough and suddenly it's melt in your mouth! so many roasts wasted!

                      another was liver chili. it was only a semi-fail because i was serving it to a bunch of people who had the munchies and i was one of the only people who had brought food. so i didn't want to touch the stuff because it was gross, but the entire pot was empty by the time i left.
                      Last edited by Saoirse; 05-29-2012, 09:11 PM.
                      my primal journal:
                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                        for years i tried braising arm roast, and stopped the cooking when it started to get tough. i eventually gave up thinking that it was something i'd never figure out. finally i tried again, this time cooking it for hours after it had already gotten tough and suddenly it's melt in your mouth! so many roasts wasted!

                        Ugh....I fell victim to this MANY times. Once I fell asleep while cooking and left the roast in for what I thought was waaay to long only to find out I finally had the tender, succulent roast I always wanted!
                        Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

                        http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Cooking, thought I'd try to make a duck curry once, got to say it turned out disgusting, mostly my own fault, pity I like duck, and love curry, together, horrid, have never tried it again!

                          Learning, purchased my first fan oven the other week, ain't gonna stick my head in front of the oven whilst opening the door again, bit like sticking me face into a blast furnace!!

                          Cheers

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by JennaRose View Post
                            making my first paleo meal (coming from vegetarian), i was heating up a pan of butter on the stove for some eggs. while waiting for that to heat up, i was washing some dishes. i dropped a wine glass into the sink and it broke against another dish. so i scooped up the broken pieces and swiftly turned toward that garbage can to toss is (small kitchen) and my arm bumped the hot frying pan and it fell to the ground while grazing my arm on the way down creating the largest burn i've ever had. this was october, its now almost june and the burn isnt quite gone still. :C incroyable!!
                            Honestly, the BEST thing I've found for burns is NEEM OIL. It stinks like garlicky peanut butter. But the next day, I swear...it's like the burn NEVER HAPPENED.

                            TRUE STORY!

                            Ok, Doc, I love this thread. The title made me LOL, honest.

                            I posted on my blog about Mini-Meatloaves/Muffins/Whatevs. Part of the recipe was adding in small chopped up pieces of leftover roast beef: lots of fat.

                            I gapped, but didn't think to put a pan underneath to catch the fat drippings. Needless to say, it didn't take long, but the SMOKE coming out of that damn oven tripped BOTH our smoke detectors! I had every freakin' window on the first floor opened. Wifey sat on the couch while on the interwebs shooting daggers at me while I scrambled to de-smoke the kitchen.

                            LOL! Funny now, not-so-much back then!

                            I almost always burn myself in the kitchen. Or fat just loves me and splatters onto my arms. What a nasty betch!
                            A Post-Primal PrimalPat

                            Do not allow yourself to become wrapped up in a food 'lifestyle'. That is ego, and you are not that.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I once cooked a steak only to discover I had waited too long to pull it off the heat. It was medium rare. The horror!

                              Seriously though, I once made an entire dish with lots of cinnamon, which was needed, only to discover upon trying to eat it that said red powder I was thinking was cinnamon was really cayenne. Yeah, labels. Read them.

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